Steele Concept Joke Contest

BigDaddyVapor

@BigDogJunction
A 13 year old boy came home all happy. His mom asked, "What did you do at school today hunny?"

"Oh I had sex with my teacher," he said calmly.

The mother began to scream and yell and sent him to his room until his father got home. When the father came home the mother distraught and close to tears, told him, "Go talk to your son! He had sex with his teacher today!"

Turning, the dad grinned broadly as he walked upstairs. He asked his son what happened at school and the son told him.

The dad responded, "Son I'm so proud of you! I'm going to get you that bike you want."

They go out the next day and buy the bike. The father asks his son, if he wants to ride it home, to which the son replies, "Nah Dad, my ass is still sore."

***********************************************************************

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of us IS blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy thinks about it a second, then says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

***********************************************************************

And to wrap it up, with the tasteless. :lol:

Q: What's the difference between a catholic priest and acne?
A: Acne usually comes on a boy's face after he hits puberty.


Q: What does a 70yr old pussy smell like?
A: Depends


Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A: Widow


Q: What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom?
A: Say, "Nice dick."


Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
A: Me in my lucky blue suit.


Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
A: Wiped his ass.
 
BigDaddyVapor,

Steele Concept

Transformer Tubes
Manufacturer
Congratulations to our champion Midnight Toker, his penchant for misogyny is second to none! please PM me your address to receive your winnings.

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”​
She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”​
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.​

Some close runners up were the still masturbating while seeing the doctor one, goat fucking, pushing older women in a bank, 70 year old pussy smelling like depends and women's rights :)

Thanks to all who participated, it was a close race but regarding the airplane one I just got a great mental image of an elderly man not giving an F, telling a woman to iron. Classy!

I appreciate anyone who posted whatever joke they wanted while not knowing if I am "easily offended." I am a guy in real life who speaks my mind regardless of what other parties think. I appreciate the brave souls who posted tasteless filth not knowing if I was the sensitive type or not. IMHO, it's a great thing to be able to laugh at whatever jokes are out there. Life is too short to be sensitive and easily offended.

This was fun, we should do it again sometime... I was thinking exclusive blonde jokes in the future so I can attempt to offend my girlfriend.

Take it easy all.
 

Steele Concept

Transformer Tubes
Manufacturer
Not funny, just offensive.

Awww don't get offended. It goes both ways:


What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds Mature.



Why did God create man?

Because Vibrators can't mow the lawn.


Girls can't do mechanical stuff, anything physical or understand sports

Guys don't have any maturity, have inflated egos and are little better than a more upright ape.

Lol both sides suck equally. But what is true is that statistically women are more educated than men. More opt to go to college or pursue higher education. The gender gap is shrinking along with glass ceilings and impenetrable "old boys networks."

The age of the woman may be on the rise. There's only so many years people can tolerate a bunch of retarded horny man apes running the country, lol.
 

CentiZen

Evil Genius in Training
Accessory Maker
A woman holding her baby is waiting for the bus. Soon enough; the bus arrives and she embarks. While paying her fare, the bus driver looks at her child and exclaims "Dear God; that is the UGLIEST baby I have ever seen!"

Embarrassed and offended she makes her way to the back of the bus and sits down, fuming. A man next to her asks, "Why are you so upset ma'am?" to which she replies; "That bus driver up there just insulted me and my family!". The man, surprised comes back by saying "Well; you can't just let him insult you like that! You go up there and rip him a new one. Here, I'll hold your dog for you".
 

Midnight Toker

That is not a drug, it’s a plant.....
Wow! I haven't been on in a few days and I come back to find out I won! That is simply fanfuckingtastic! :rofl:

Thanks Steele for a cool contest and an awesome prize. There were some funny entries so I'm glad tht we were able to make you laugh.

I don't know if I'll do a video, but I'll definitely be showing her off when I get her. Thanks for the congratz peeps. :tup:
 

Steele Concept

Transformer Tubes
Manufacturer
Yeah thanks for the laughs guys, like I said we should do it again sometime. I'll be shipping Midnights unit tomorrow and hope he enjoys her.

Thanks to everyone who participated.
 

BigDaddyVapor

@BigDogJunction
Good impromptu contest. I think that's what made it so fun. Instead of a Flash Mob. A Flash Joke Contest!

I hope everyone else enjoyed it, as much as I did, even not winning. The giggles paid the price of admission, IMO.
 
These three guys die in a car wreck and they all go to Hell. When they arrive the Devil asks each of the men what their sin was. The first guy says, "It's gotta be the booze. I'm always drunk." The Devil decides to lock him in a room with nothing but shelves of every kind of alcohol imaginable. The guy's thinking, "Fuck yeah! Look at all this alcohol!" and runs into the room. The second guy says, "It's the women, i could never stay faithful to my wife." The devil opens up the second door and inside is nothing but the finest looking naked women as far as the eye can see. The guy was to be locked in for 100 years. He couldn't believe it and his dick got instantly hard and he went running into the room as the Devil locked the door behind him. The third dude says, "It's gotta be the bud. I'm always tokin' up." The Devil opens the third door to reveal nothing but fields of 10ft tall icky, sticky, take-a-toke, make-ya-choke, chronic, green, death bud. The stoner can't believe it. he goes in and takes a seat Indian style with his back to the door and the Devil shuts and locks the door. One hundred years pass and the Devil returns to check on the three men. He opens the first door and the man comes crawling out. He's got an empty bottle in one hand, he's completely naked, hasn't shaved or showered in years, and is covered in his own puke, shit, and piss. "i'll never drink again!" he says. The devil says it's good he learned something and decides to give him a second shot at life. The devil then opens the second door and the man comes running out twice as fast as when he went in. "I'm fucking gay!" he screams. The devil figures he's learned not to cheat on his wife and decides to give him a second chance too. The devil then comes to the third door. he opens it and sees nothing has changed. the stoner is still sitting there in the same position that he was 100 years ago. The Devil asks him if he's learned anything. The stoner turns around as a tear rolls down his cheek, "You gotta light, man?"
 

Midnight Toker

That is not a drug, it’s a plant.....
Well here's my little lady, compliments of Steele and this contest. :bowdown: I call her Indy.

She's just the right height and has nice bottom weight to her so she isn't likely to tip over anytime soon or probably ever. I really like the way this baby looks....she has both an industrial and a sleek look all rolled into one. The included downstem and bowl are equally nice.

So I read the Flight Plan, followed the directions and gave her a rip using my CRZ. I got some nice cool hits. I could hear the bubble action but not see it, but seeing the vapor fill the tube thru the iced cubes was a hoot. Overall, she still has to be put through her paces, but my first impression is very favorable.

Thank you Steele for the contest and for making a waterpipe that I can't break. She is a klutzy person's dream and I am very happy to have Indy....even more so because I won her and I never win shit (I guess I can't say that anymore). :lol:

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