Random Awkward Moments

mvapes

mvapes

Scratchin' Glass!
Accessory Maker
I thought it would be funny to share stories about awkward or funny moments in our lives for shits and giggles. I'll be glad to start with these 2...

So, I was on a business trip and my final meeting today ended hours before I had anticipated. As anyone that wanted to get home to their families would do (by families I mean weed) I arrived early to the airport and paid the change fee to get a standby seat on an earlier flight. Again, I requested an aisle seat as I suffer from severe RLS (restless leg syndrome)and I constantly have to get up unless I fall asleep. Not only was I lucky enough to get a flight within 15 minutes of arriving I got an upgraded seat to choice. 1 level down from 1st class. I suffer from this RLS and according to my doctors it's attributed to my early "drug phase". You know, that year or two around college that many of us have seen. Unfortunately mine lasted from 87 to 2002!

Anyways getting back to the story...while rushing I grabbed a burrito prior to boarding. Upon boarding the plane I immediately noticed I was surrounded by a somewhat attractive crowd on this plane...I'm sure at this point some of you see where this is going...

So, happy as a pig in shit that I was only a short time from being reunited with MJ I luckily fell asleep for the duration of the flight....you would think this is going to have a happy ending....

When I awoke to the captain announcing that we were making our descent I opened my eyes and looked around....

Every mother fucker around moved their seats....

One lady said to me exiting the plane in shame of my flatulence that I should see a doctor! :doh:
 
Symbolik

Symbolik

Member
I've got a bad one.. Its not so much awkward as it was embarrassing. My girlfriend and I were in the beginning of our relationship. I was driving her home and she began to make out with me. Instinctually nothing around me mattered so as this was happening my truck started to roll over and I rear ended this truck in front of me. I was probably more red than a strawberry Haha. Good thing I didn't leave any marks on the truck and it was around 2 am.

Should have put the damn thing in park! Haha
 
mvapes

mvapes

Scratchin' Glass!
Accessory Maker
I like where this is going...

How about this one....

I went to a business conference in Savannah for 3 days. I fedexed myself some weed and addressed it to the conference center at the Westin. I'm sitting at my booth and a police office comes up to me and says - I have a package for you sir. And the mother fucker walked away....


Holy fucking shit - a cop just delivered weed to a Jew at a conference in the deep south!!! WTF is up with that? :rockon:
 
Symbolik

Symbolik

Member
Holy shit.. that's pretty ballsy dude haha

One time me and my friend were chilling in a parking lot smoking before went to show... we smoked about 4 bowls out of my bong and a joint, then we noticed these kids in front of one of the stores they were just being obnoxious and what not. then 5 minutes later a cop shows up with lights blaring and he parks right in front of my car. Me and my buddy were freaking the fuck out then the pig gets out of his car and walks up to those kids.. We looked at eachother in astonishment. We decided to just back out and leave for the gig.. daaaaamn my blood was pumping haha
 
Symbolik,
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deadheadbill

deadheadbill

I can see clearly now the smoke is gone...
I have a shitload(you'll get it later) but this just happened Sunday night

So I have been blazing and drinking with friends all day long and we end up at this local bar. As I standing there I realize I have to take a crap.

It's one of those got to get there craps, so thankfully the door was open. I rush in, drop trough and tear the joint up. Then as I'm getting up blam, I accidently paint the back of the toilet.

It's just about that time I hear "sir, your gonna have to get out, your in the ladies room".

I washed my hands and blasted by about 10 friends headed to the door. The worst part was I lost my MFLB that day and I was sure it was in that bathroom floor until my wife found it in the laundry today. :D
 
Stu

Stu

Maconheiro
Staff member
Back in the day, I met this (extremely hot) girl at a club and things were going well, so she invited me to back to her apartment.

I'm pretty stoked at this point as this chick was way hotter than the skanks I usually ended up with. I really needed to piss (we left the club in a hurry) so upon entering her apartment I immediately excused myself to use the bathroom.

I entered the bathroom, shut the door, lifted the toilet seat only to find myself starring face to face with the mother of all floaters. It was huge.

Taken aback, I shouted out to her "do you have a roommate?"

I was disappointed with the "no" that came in reply.

:peace:
 
D

dorkus_molorkus

Well-Known Member
aw man where oh where do I start.

I guess chronologically would be best.


In my late teens for some reason I had a habit of wearing satin boxer shots out all the time. I lived in the tropics & the heat made you do silly things and wearing satin boxers without any other pants was one of them.

but anyway, I did this silly thing on a regular basis & I was at my girlfriends house waiting for a cab, and we were getting hot n heavy on the couch.

The cab arrives and i walk out on the patio to say goodbye to my girlfriends mother. i bend down to peck her on the cheek goodbye, as I go to stand up someone behind me spoke and as I turned about to face them..............

I smacked my girlfriends mother in the face with my semi erect cock!
lolz-Normally, I tell people i gave her a black eye or knocked a tooth out but the truth is i only split her lip slightly.

My wife hates that story.
 
Nbajunkie

Nbajunkie

Someones always watching..
These moments should be called the wall of shame.
The time as a teenager my dad walked in on me masturbating.
Sharting more than any grown man should..SHAME
That aqward moment when your 5 year old calls you out..
There's more ,But I usually just suppress most memories
Wet dreams..wtf? Isn't there some sort of cut off for these things..too old for this
 
Stu

Stu

Maconheiro
Staff member
dorkus_molorkus said:
In my late teens for some reason I had a habit of wearing satin boxer shots out all the time. I lived in the tropics & the heat made you do silly things and wearing satin boxers without any other pants was one of them.
Click to expand...
I haven't even read the rest of this post but after five minutes I just got off of the floor from laughing hysterically to post that I haven't even read the rest of this post. :rofl:

:peace:
 
Stu,
D

dorkus_molorkus

Well-Known Member
Then there was the time when I shit on my late mums little dog.
Poor little bloke was always very offended if someone farted near him, and would storm off in a huff after giving you the hairy eyeball for being so gross.

Well, it was summertime & I just got out of the shower one evening & was only wearing a towel.

I was a bit drunk at the time & thought it would be super funny to fart on the little guys head.
Well things didnt go as planned and a few minutes later my wife was washing the poor little guy in the laundry sink while screaming hysterically "I cant believe you shit on your dead mums 16 yr old miniature fox terrier! What sort of fuckwit are you?''

Ahh good times! (lolz- was only about 18mths ago!)

RIP little mate, I didnt mean it I swear.:lol:
 
mvapes

mvapes

Scratchin' Glass!
Accessory Maker
dorkus_molorkus said:
aw man where oh where do I start.

I guess chronologically would be best.


In my late teens for some reason I had a habit of wearing satin boxer shots out all the time. I lived in the tropics & the heat made you do silly things and wearing satin boxers without any other pants was one of them.

but anyway, I did this silly thing on a regular basis & I was at my girlfriends house waiting for a cab, and we were getting hot n heavy on the couch.

The cab arrives and i walk out on the patio to say goodbye to my girlfriends mother. i bend down to peck her on the cheek goodbye, as I go to stand up someone behind me spoke and as I turned about to face them..............

I smacked my girlfriends mother in the face with my semi erect cock!
lolz-Normally, I tell people i gave her a black eye or knocked a tooth out but the truth is i only split her lip slightly.

My wife hates that story.
Click to expand...


Dork - that is too fucking funny. That's how I hint around my wife that I need a little - I say very romantically "babe, hurry up and get in the bed before I accidentally poke your eye out!" or another favorite is leaning over and whispering in her ear "babe, I feel like I could shampoo a bison, lets hit the sack!"

I don't know where I got my romantic side from. :lmao:

Here's another awkward moment, I was 18 years old (a long fucking time ago) - me and a buddy Frankie were fucking wasted hanging out getting into the usual trouble when Frankie realized he forgot something back at his house. We go ahead back to his place and we didn't want to wake up his parents so we kind of snuck in very quietly. Well, upon walking in we realized the TV in the living room was on, thinking it was his younger brother we continued the stealthness and tried to sneak up on his little brother. We whip around the corner and jump out in front of the doorway to the room and BAM - it was his father watching porn and yanking his crank! :puke:

Till this day Frankie says he can't look at his father the same way. A couple of years ago I saw his Dad, he is actually a really cool dude so I said "you still fishing"? He replied, what the fuck are you talking about? I kindly said "if my memory serves me correctly I thought you were a Master Baiter"?
 
T

Tweek

Well-Known Member
Stu said:
Back in the day, I met this (extremely hot) girl at a club and things were going well, so she invited me to back to her apartment.

I'm pretty stoked at this point as this chick was way hotter than the skanks I usually ended up with. I really needed to piss (we left the club in a hurry) so upon entering her apartment I immediately excused myself to use the bathroom.

I entered the bathroom, shut the door, lifted the toilet seat only to find myself starring face to face with the mother of all floaters. It was huge.

Taken aback, I shouted out to her "do you have a roommate?"

I was disappointed with the "no" that came in reply.

:peace:
Click to expand...


You still hit it. :spliff:
 
OO

OO

Technical Skeptical
Stu said:
Back in the day, I met this (extremely hot) girl at a club and things were going well, so she invited me to back to her apartment.

I'm pretty stoked at this point as this chick was way hotter than the skanks I usually ended up with. I really needed to piss (we left the club in a hurry) so upon entering her apartment I immediately excused myself to use the bathroom.

I entered the bathroom, shut the door, lifted the toilet seat only to find myself starring face to face with the mother of all floaters. It was huge.

Taken aback, I shouted out to her "do you have a roommate?"

I was disappointed with the "no" that came in reply.

:peace:
Click to expand...

That's when you put your logging hat on.
 
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