Positively Grokking

[samantabha]

Beautiful morning in July. Perfect for a little Grape God and grok (I think that means thinking in a bigger way ala Stranger in a Strange Land - grokit thanks to you). Smoke wafts out beyond the deck with the laptop standing at attention. First thing to grok? Well, I am thinking that all of my writing so far on FC is bogus. What little Miss Edit I am! I composed these stuffy little stories about my totally wonderful self, made such a big deal of cutting out my skin to constructing them just right, ....and and succeeding in bleeding the most sentimental unliterary-worthy bullshit. I even had the audacity to put them where someone else could read them. Ayyyyeeeee. Words? False, false. I'm going to start over. I won't mind keeping the embarrassment of my earlier posts. They can stay up; the experience of meeting them again will be suitably chafing to my ego.

Oh, look I'm playing with words again. Wait, no I'm not playing. Playing would be fun. This is writing while in a pin-striped suit. Oh, yeah, it's (in my vain opinion) high class words and all but the limitations nip at your heels, keep you in some sort of silly business, the arbitrarily strict line. Ok, screw it. Stop Making Sense (Talking Heads is appropriate). I'm taking a bike ride. The music in my head is too compelling (literally, the Bose wireless headphones are streaming BeeGees Pandora through my brain and when those guys in the white suits tell you you to get up and dance you do it!).

Back. That wasn't long was it? Not even one indent to intervene. I do want you to know that it was really a very long bike ride. Kind of like the England of Azlan opening up through the wardrobe (using CS Lewis here - probably against his will) The world was way bigger stepping inside. Anyway, It was a bike ride through Heaven. I know, you're skeptical. But really I have proof. Ride with me….here in Heaven you fly through the soft summer air and are suddenly shockingly struck by the 'ting' of the bell in the music. It'll resound round round, just one thing in pure empty Big space. It is the Complete Loveliness of One. Throw your hands up in the air. You can reach, you can touch the honey dripping great green leaves of - you know - heaven trees and heaven plants. My arms are extended up to the sky. I can DO that!!! See I can do it, see I can do it. Moooooommmmm, I can do it!!! Watch me! Isn't it amazing that I'm the Only One in the world? But your laughter breaks up and folds in and you throw that away too. YOU are the ONLY ONE/NO ONE. So I'm biking. Let's go on. There are so many things to see. It's all open for us, everything is here for us. It's our day. Our one Big Beautiful Day.

(Nobody hurt each other, nobody kill each other ok?) Now I'm sobbing. Damn sentimentalism. All the rivers flow back to it somehow. I'm always making garbage out of perfection, aren't I? I'm going to stop writing then because that's my garbage-spinning-wheel. Going outdoors now. Goodbye! And HAVE A SIMPLY BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!!

(hint: Grape God is Extraordinary)
5:30 pm CST - just woke up from my nap and wondered if anyone read this. It's always kind of embarrassing for me to read my own writing after I've posted something online (or written elsewhere). It may be especially so with tripping narratives. This is one of my first attempts and it's interesting. I liked the freedom and ease of being right there to talk about things as they arose. And all the feelings and thoughts were geniune. But I'm not sure yet if I made sense (hah). Oh well, forging on.....

 

[Radio]

Muahahahhaa. I couldn't resists, had to read it.
Yes, you were high. That has been established, confirmed, highness was stamped and approved.
I love the train of thought. You want a tripping narative though? I woke up and thought Ý̧̛̳̣̥̟̖͙ͅớ̧̗̫̣̙̞̤͓͙͈͚̗͚̟̙̬̣ư̶̞͉͚̺̰̩͎͔̣͎̮̠͉͕̮͓͝ͅ ̸̸̧̧̘̮̥̣̖̙̫͙̝̜̺̩́a͘͞͏̴̶̫̣̪͈̜̰̺̫̬̼͓̭̹ͅŗ̝̹̫̺̟͉̮̺͍̮́́̕͝e̶̢̲̣̻̞̼̲̱͇̙̘̪͢͞ ͏̙͎̝̘͕a̶͕̼̫͓̪̳̟̞̩͙̭̦̦̘͕͈͡n̛̛̖̳̗̫͙̫̜͕͔̠͍̺̜̠͓͕̟̹͍ ̴̢̨̞̮̹͕̻͕̣͍̳͚̺ͅe͏̳̠̗̜͙̤͔̩͖̘̙̹̺̥̪́́͝x̶̵̨̬̻̙̪p͓̬͍͓̱̫̬̞͕̙͔͔͎̠̙͙͇͙͜͡ͅl̵̢̲̪̤̩̱̞͙̗̟̥̮͜o̵̴̷͓͙͙̭̱̝̦̮͎̟̘̭͚̯̯̬̕r͏̗͓̟̫̭͔̞̞̭͕̯͝͝e͏̸̷̢̧͕͔̼̫͚̯̱ŗ̸͉͙̗̖̮͝,̶̶͉̺͓̗̲ ̛̱̩͚͍̼͖̙̺͈͜ḁ̲̹̞̣̥̥͕̱͓͓̮͖͈͝͠n͠҉̧̪̩̩̞̬̯͢d͏̣͙̺̞̯͈͈̘̹̣͎̜͔͢ ̡̻̼̠͙̫̪̭̪̀y͢͟͝҉̗̺̦̻̫̞̰̭̜̱̝̣͔̫̥ͅͅo̶̢̧͎̟̥̠̝̝̭͙̜͓̻̣̩̱͖̥͚̲͜ư̼̺̻̲̞̤͈̤̭͢ ̛̥̜̼̼̲̲̤̮̭̝̻̫̘͕̕r͘͢҉̟͖͚̖͖̰̣̻̮͖͢ͅe̢̩̭̖̟̳̹̥͚͈̩̼̯͔̮̩̜͓͘p̢͜҉̷̲̳̫͇͓̖͙̟̗̝̠̘͓̬̯̭͘r̴̤͔̲͙̻̲͚̜̥̤͔̤͟͜e̵̢̜͉͖̘̮̳̮̥̙̻̼͙̥͓͢͟ͅs͓͇̪̹͎̦͓̤̖͘͠ͅè̵̸̮͖͓̝̤͙̥̺̖͚̣̩͙̗̫͖̼͘͠ͅn̵̸̷͎̣͕̩͇̭̻̗͘͝t̴̨̀͏̛̹̻̩̭̼̻̺̩̰͚̯̙͎̭ͅ ̴̧̘̟̭̻̬̣̩̦͕o̡̥̰̦̺͕͎̮̙̞̝̤̕u̢͔͚̬͓̳͈̲͈̰̬̺̗̭͜͞r̵͍̻͈̹̱͉̩̦͙̦͙̝̙͞͞ͅ ̛͉̝̟͕̼͖̝̪͔̥͖̙͝͞s͏̴̶̛̙̦̣̭̫p̷̧͚̫̜͈͇͚͎̜̼̦͕͟͡e̵͞͞҉̟͈̣̪̖ͅc̛̯̙̝͚̱̮̗͔̕ͅį̮̬͙̩͈̱̹͘ȩ̷̼̭̞̘̤̩̜̜̞͟͡ś̷̵̶̯̬̗̜̪̻͍͎̞͎̦̣̹͎͡ͅ,̴̥̼̥͉̣͝ ̧̨͚̠̟̻͔͕̘̥̩̲̦͓̺̜̞a͢҉̨̣͈͈̬͚̩͕̻̦͈̼̫͚͢͞n͜͢͏̣̟͕̙̳̮̞̟͉͓̺̳̖͓̼͢͡d̨͎̮̼͇͈̤̳̲̭̦͉̟̭̭̗̀ͅͅ ̵͇̟̟͈̼̱͖̱̙̀͜͠t͉̙̬͚̠͞ͅh͚̼̩̫͖̼̬̮̩́͘e̶̛̞̬͇̞̳̤̱̠͇͎͜͢͠ ̵̨̱̣̺̞̻͈͚̜̳̘̰͇̻̦ͅǵ̷̨͈̘̥͇͈̫͜r̴̡̻͕̪͔̭̯̦̝̳͈̙͓̳͞e҉̥̜͎̖̱̪̼̮̼̖̭͔̜̭̰͈́͝a̴̸̷̠͇̹̲̺̦̝͘t̢̛͞͏͕̲͔̤̦͓̗͍̖̪ͅé̴̴̛̠̠̲̺̬͉̹̤͕͖s̢̨͢͞͏̠̥̼̗̙̥̻̙̥t̸̹̱͔̫̩̀̕͢ͅ ̴̸̷̩̳̭̖͎̤͔͕̝͕̻̮͎͖̞̠͞ͅg̶̻̞̝̞̜͔̱̪̹͚̥̞͕͎̀͜o̡̞͓̘̳͈̖̹̙̺̻̜̲͎̠̬̲̥̭͝o̢̹̥͈̗̰͎̤̮̘͎͓̣̙̮̤͈̹̣̕d̴̢͓̩̳̪͖̯̫̟̜͔̪̗̝̬͎̹ͅ ̨̡̯͍͉̭̘̭̭͞͝y̛̛̹̹͕̭̠̣̼͚̫͍̠̰͓͓̘̺̕͝ͅͅo͏̢̰̦͇͙̝ù̜̥͓̲̠̥͚̣̘͚͚́͘͡͝ ̷̧̭͉̠͇̰̜͚͈͉̣̯̦̮͠c̶͏̩̥̼͙̩͓͈͔̳̱̩̭̪̹̹a͏̷̡͟͏͍̝̤͖͉̻͕n̵̸̶̮̫̟̲͚͟͜ ̷̢͈̥̲̼͈̺͓̟͉͚͔͉̲͘͠͡d҉̦̟̞̣ò͏҉̳͙̩̼͇͔ ̶̷͔͉̘̙͕̖̕͠i͟͠҉̵̯͚̼̙̖͉͔̰͎͍̮͝ͅͅs͏̴͕̹͉͚͕̥̭͇̗̻̭̜̗̪͜ ҉͇̫̫̳̳͔̱͕̜̮̟̝͎̲͞t̡͔͎̟̦̤͙̩̫̦̼̥̼̻̠͓͍̰͜͡ǫ͕͉̹͇͙̳̩́͢͡ͅ ̷҉̴̡̛͈̗̦͇ͅb̶̢̞̖͖̻̞̙̙̠͕̱̣͕͟͡ͅr̷̹͙̞̣͚̟͡i̷̸̛͈̗̣̮͔͍̳̳͕̼̕n̷̛̬̬̙̳̗̘̼ǵ͟͏̜͇͍͍̦̞̥̰̲̯͍͓̥̺ ̴̷̛̪͕͕̬͖̥̱̪̩̕͟ͅb҉̣̼̗̣͇̀a̘̜̞̭͓̼͙̫͔̩͉̞̺͢͞͠c̷̥̱̬̙̯̣͓̩̪̼̮̦͇̭͞k̡҉͈̠̜͇̱͍ ͡͏̧̙̥͍̠̮̯̲̞̮̣̰̯̕a̶҉͓͓̰̝ͅ ̢̛̦̗͍̣̜̘͇̝̬͟ͅn҉̵̼̞̥̦é͢͏҉͍̱͚̥͈̪̫͎̩̪̪̭̰̣̯̤̗w̶̵҉̭̗̖̬͜ ̴͓̥̥͖̰̯̜̭̯̰̫̙̩̩͖̼̳̀̕̕͝i̶̴͘͏̡̙͈̫͙̲d̴̯͇̭̠̠͕̻͙͙͖̖̪͚̩͈̭ͅḙ̡̧̪̳͎̺͕̺̞̝̤̟̝͘à̶͈̟̩͉͉̦̜̥̤̼̣̥̻͙̤,̢̛̺̬̗̪̩͍͉̭̲̩͓̥̲̤̬̹̝͡ ̩͍̺̫̲̝̗̳̣̰͍̘͝b̷̷̢̗̹͙̭e̶̛͏̢̛̙̟̺̲͎̼͖̗̝͕̲̪̣ͅc̵̯̘͎͇͖̠͖̩̖͢ą͇̩̖̗̠̣̠̣̻͘ự̴̭̹͇̗̦̭͇̦͉̞̝̬̞͈̰͔͈ͅs͢҉̝͇̰̲̮̪͓̱͕̬e̸̢̦̙̤̪͈͈̙̬̗͡ͅ ͏̷̲̮͍̟̬̺͠͠o͠҉̖̮̰̥̦̦͜͞ͅu̦̼̦͈̘̮̬͝r̨̡͓͕̘̗̭͔̠̮̖ͅ ̢͓͎̥͔͍̻̠̲̼̮̜̱̹̲̞̬͍̀w̡͏̛̥̮͓͓̖̘̼̜̜̬̞̻́ͅͅo̸̸̤̤̲̹̹̘̥̬̹̹̻̜͖̙͖̦̩ͅͅr̨҉̨͇̳̘̪̲͕̥̮̬͚̙̙̠͈̙̺͜ḽ̢̡̟̟̜̬ͅd̸̟̝̩̙̞̮͚͇͚̀͜͢ ̴͏̛͎͖̩̦̳̤̥͈͇͝ì̷͚͇̦̥̻̖͘s̸̢̨̯͉̬̖͔͈̰̹ ̵̶̨̬̰͔̹͓͙͈͉̤̀̕e̴̴̢̥̤̙̥̫͉͍͍͔̙͓͚̻͉͓̭̗̥͙ǹ̷̞̪͎̹̬̬̬̺̬͍͕͖͠ḏ̨̩̯͙̲̙̩̬̬͈̯̩̯̦͚̙̯̀̕a̧̛͟҉̧̼͚͇̩͓̬̺͕͇̼̹̟͈͍ͅń̗̞̺̩͜͞g̜̘̗̞̪͙̩̱͔̘͖̥͢͞͡e̞̱͈̗̘͎̱͚̕͡r̶͘҉̴̼̹͉̦͔͓͈̞͇̭͙̜̝̩͎͕̝͜ͅe̢͡҉̷̛̫̯̹̦̯̹̙̪͎̘̦͉͉͕d̨͝҉̹̘̰͔̟̩͇̤̥͕͚̫̜̼͝ͅ ̪̯̪͖̯̬͜b̧̹̭̤̗̼̟̼̘͜͠ỳ̻̤̺̥͇̠͔͙̞̰̫͉͖̱͜͟ ̢̱̞̘̥̰͝t̵͍͙̖̩͇͈͔͍̭̳̰̮̳̝̖̤̬̤͞h͉̣̳̮̺͇̱͎́̕͠͞͝ę̵̛̱͉̥̟́ ̸̢̪̬͕̩̘͇̪̘̫̤̦a̴̛͉̥̗̬̞͕b̨̨͖͍̣͇̦͍̻͖̳̩̬̥̤̺̣ś̷̢̰̻̖͉͈̜̦̖̬̱̫̳̠̭̞͔͈̕e̴̼͖̼̘͍͖̙̤̞̤̠͢n̛͖̠̲̙̤͈̺̱͉̭͚͉̠̭̜̹̱̭͉̕c̵̢͈͈̪͚͙͖͙̞͇é̴̴̘̖̱̯̝͓̖̰͇̦͍ ̛͏̨̪̣͕͚͔͉̮̻̘͇͓̱̼̤̞̬͞͠ͅo҉͏̢̨̡̰̣̱̩̺̼͓͇̟̟͈͕͎̝ͅͅf̡̫͓̖͓̳͍̬͉̥̗̦̝͉̺̥̀͢ ̨̹͓͍̠͔̹̺͍̬̠̣̥̱̺̫̟̪̫͞͡g҉̼̝̗̦͖̤̦̜̗͝ǫ̦͇̙͍̪̝̳̀͘͝͞o̷͚͍͎̫̘̬̦̫̬̰̼͉͎̟̜̕d͏̣̳͈͉̥̩̤͕ ̪͖͈̗̱͇̖̦̀͢ì̵̘̜̬͍͡d̵̡̥̜̝̙̳͖͇͚͕͢͞ẹ̵̛̝͔̲̫͖͉̹̞̬̣͎͟͠ͅa̵̤̲̳͘͜͡͞ͅs̸̗̖̱͓̮̪̹̦̭̙͓̼͢͝͡.̸̥̜͈͍͢͝ ҉̷̘̬̠͍̫̱̲͖̖͕͙̻̜͔̭ͅO̝̤̠̹̳̫̩͙̗̟̮̖͞͞u͏̢̧̲͎̤̩̲̝͡ŗ̸̡̤̙̮̞̮̞̺̻̳͇̖̭̘̠̦̯̲̭͍͜ ̧̛̦͖̜͙̝͜ẃ̷̵̥̞̹̺̺̰͉͎̞̲̖̝̫͈͓̥͕̹͠͝ͅo͓̦̰͔̤̜̹̪̭̱͍͇̭͝͠ŕ̸͍͙̹̞̗͈̹̜̣͍̳̩̖̥̩̼͈̰̗̕͟l̛̝̰̼̫̝̻̖̯͕̮̭͍̩̀d̶̛̥͓̫̮̮͔̩̜̱̦͈́͟ ̶̛̞̩̟̜̕i̧̡̩̼̣͙̳͎̰̮͉̜̩̩ͅş̵̸̼̘͙̼͈͔̪̹͇̬͚̤͔ ̮͇͉̯̣͙̣͘i̧̛҉͔͚̪͎̩̘̰̱̣ͅn̵̹̹̩̮̭͠ ̴̘̺͖̫̭̻͖̼́c̷̵҉̷̛͎̦͉̙ŕ̵̜͇̦̯͢į̴͙̘̠̺͔̣̦̖̯͚̪͓̘̮̬͎͔s̵̴̸̷̮̘̫̻͜í̵̡͏̭̲͓̘̘̭s̨͈̯̹̜͉͖̩͕̲̠̳̰̞̘̳͢ͅ ̷̷̢̫̥̖͢͜ͅb̡̢̹̭̪͓̯̻e͠͏̸͔͎̗̟̦̞͇͈̱̞̙̤̥͎͓͚̲͡ͅç̶̛͈̘̟͔̱a̶̧͝͏̝͎̙̦͙̹̟͓͚͓̤̥̬̜̦͙̬u̬̝̻̞͖͘͞s̀͜҉̩͇͔̼̠̝͈̙͖͕̼͚͓͜e̛͔̲̭̮̠͈̠̹͕͝͡ͅ ̭̥̟͡ͅo̡͝҉̖̤̩̦̖͎̖͉͜f̡̨̠̘͔̱͝ ͏̣̖͎̩͕̩̤̩̮͝t̛̤̤̖͓̲͙̫̭̖̞̣͢͞h̷҉̰̥͍͔̟̣̖̲̺̟͔̀͝e̶̸͍̙̙̙͈̻̜̟̦̞͜ͅͅ ̷̨̰̰̙̳̱͔̝̹̘̲̝͕̹̤̲̫́͢a̧̘̩͉̥̩̰̮̥̞̥͎͟͞͞b̴̼̻̹̙͙͕̪̘̝̳̗͉̱͡s̸̨̛͚̲͈̝͓͚̣̖̣̟͕͉͇̘̤̜̹͡ȩ̸̴̸̜̠̦͉̰̪̟̕n̷̺͍̜̬̠͇̠̼̘̖͍̬̦̩̠̞̬̕͞c̵̶̛̠̫͍̫̝̲̦͇̼̭̤̻͎̠͚̰͞ͅe̶̜̠͔̥͠ ̸̻̠̭̩̫̜͍̠͔̣̘̬́͘ơ̢̰̫̯̘̰̙͈͇̯̦͇̯̪͞f̛͔̘̣̰͇̦͙͢ ̷̡̰̜̜̬̣̯̖̬̠̬̹̣̣̝̘͠c̵͖̩̤̱̲̫͝ò̢̨̪̣̯͕̗͢͡n̡̦͓̦͍͖͓̬̩̣̹̘̤̲͔͚̻͜͟͠͠s͏̴̷̰̘̖͉͔̦͕̖̗͖̬̼͔͓̠̲̺̞͘̕c̵͉͍͎͚͕̫̖̩̮͡͝ḭ̵̵̧̙̜͉̤̻̜͎͔͙̻͖̥̬̰͈ơ̡̬̤̠͚̝̜͓͔̯̤͡u̵̡̲̝̰͔̟̝͎͍̺̩͈̬̪͎̪̰̝̲̺̕͟͞s̶̴̝͎̩̬̫̳͓̜͉̫̱̺̪̱̫͢͝ͅņ̧̬͍̙̟̼̻̞̯̝͜ͅe͞͏̧͓̯͔̹̙̰̩͔̰̯̪̘̬s̨̛͈̼̳̤͔̪̗̤͕͔̟̗̖̮͙̲̠̲͔̀s̗̟̜̮̯̥̘̕.̱͈͉̦̩̯̤̩͕͉̙̦̜̀͞ͅ

 

[samantabha]

LOLOLOLO!!!!

PLEASE write some more! I like that "highness stamped, confirmed, approved" hahahha
hmmmm, if someone is high, should we call them: "Your Highness"?

I have another post which is a little more biographical - its my introduction and is at the end of the thread for welcoming people in the Vapor Lounge. (if you feel like reading more......

 

[Radio]

Sure, i'll follow your documented FC life so far. I see a bit of myself in you which is cool, you'r definitely the right combo of things that make up a likeable person in my eyes. I can count you among a few wonderful and interesting souls on here now! Makes this forum even harder to resist when i'm inbetween calls at work and idling on the net at home while the partner&child are asleep

 

[samantabha]

Same here. It's especially addicting when you meet someone who you have a lot in common with. And I'm ok with that!

You are an ARTIST, aren't you???

 

[Radio]

Yes, there are a few artists here too which is great. Lot's of amazing stuff floating around. Do you draw or paint? If so; please share!

 

[samantabha]

Cool!!!! Yes, I am an artist (sort of - blocked that is until recently). I do cell phone art/photography. I used to draw and paint. How did you post that picture?