Partner concerned with amount of vaping

[rebelxd]

so I've really gotten into vaping concentrates, I feel like it makes me focus better and enjoy the moment. I am more driven at work, more creative, more open about my feelings. I'm more interested in my job, more relaxed.

My partner doesn't see it this way - he sees it as self medicating and going overboard.

Anyone go through this kind of situation?

Im smoking regularly through the day, for reference.

 

[TwistedGray]

Im smoking regularly through the day, for reference.

Maybe this is the issue?

 

[Silat]

so I've really gotten into vaping concentrates, I feel like it makes me focus better and enjoy the moment. I am more driven at work, more creative, more open about my feelings. I'm more interested in my job, more relaxed.

My partner doesn't see it this way - he sees it as self medicating and going overboard.

Anyone go through this kind of situation?

Im smoking regularly through the day, for reference.

How about a 3rd opinion?

 

[Hippie Dickie]

Im smoking regularly through the day, for reference.

does this mean vaporizing cannabis through the day?

this thread has made me spin through several dozen possible responses, so thanks for that, and everyone is different, but ...

i don't do concentrates - i just don't trust the tech - so i can't address whatever that adds to your question, but concerning a relationship ... i have come to believe the partners need to, no - MUST, have compatible vices ... walling off part of you from your partner will be problematic long-term.

i'm almost 69 and i've been with my gf (wife.2) for 40 years.

 

[Silat]

does this mean vaporizing cannabis through the day?

this thread has made me spin through several dozen possible responses, so thanks for that, and everyone is different, but ...

i don't do concentrates - i just don't trust the tech - so i can't address whatever that adds to your question, but concerning a relationship ... i have come to believe the partners need to, no - MUST, have compatible vices ... walling off part of you from your partner will be problematic long-term.

i'm almost 69 and i've been with my gf (wife.2) for 40 years.

Perfect and polite response.
Congrats on the success of your longtime relationship.

 

[GetLeft]

he sees it as self medicating...

And this is bad? Idiatt = I do it all the time. Wait. Idiatft. Wtf? Beats omm (= others medicating me) by miles.

...and going overboard.

Yea the going overboard is an issue for sure depending on all kinds of things, no? Best to have a head screwed on tightly, at least for a little bit if possible, to make a good call. And best that you be the one making that call. At least until you hear two people or so telling you the same thing. But first and foremost listen to you.

i have come to believe the partners need to, no - MUST, have compatible vices ...

HD I love you man. But I disagree. At least I'm pretty sure I disagree. At least at this point, I disagree.

... walling off part of you from your partner will be problematic long-term.

Not sure how to read 'problematic.' Nor 'long-term (fuck words). But I'm buzzed so I'll wing it.

Not 'walling off part of you' means 'exposing yourself entirely to,' correct? So 'exposing oneself entirely to' is a better plan than 'walling off part of you?'

My experience tells me otherwise. One can't expose oneself entirely to anyone or anything. That seems to go against nature. At least I've never managed to pull it off. We all keep things to ourselves. Biology. Instinct. Survival.

So then it becomes not a question of exposing oneself entirely (we really don't do this), but rather a question of 'what does each of us reveal' and 'what does each of us wall off,' I guess. A grand experiment. 'If I wall off that and reveal this, and you reveal this and wall off that, will things work out?' My guess is that the species has gotten as far as it has because it has been selective in the information it has divulged about itself to others.

And if I wasn't asleep half way trough that last sentence, I am now ...

 

[bellas]

I feel like it makes me focus better and enjoy the moment. I am more driven at work, more creative, more open about my feelings. I'm more interested in my job, more relaxed.

As someone who also medicates throughout the day I agree with your findings. I think we have to remember that we are all different.
What works for you may not work for your partner.
Maybe you should talk with your partner and try to get to the root of why they feel this way and how they have come to "believe" this thought process. The human brain is a crazy ride folks. Chances are they have deep rooted "believes" that have been taught over a long period of time.

 

[EmDeemo]

That seems to go against nature. At least I've never managed to pull it off.

Ya hear that @Hippie Dickie , your 40 year relationship defies all known laws of nature!

Congrats!

 

[herbivore21]

As someone who also medicates throughout the day I agree with your findings. I think we have to remember that we are all different.
What works for you may not work for your partner.
Maybe you should talk with your partner and try to get to the root of why they feel this way and how they have come to "believe" this thought process. The human brain is a crazy ride folks. Chances are they have deep rooted "believes" that have been taught over a long period of time.

This is very good advice. You are your partner need to talk. You need to find out the nature of your partner's perceived issue with your cannabis use.

Remember that many of us get insecure at times in a relationship. Sometimes, partners can feel that they are competing with the herb - I am sure this has been true at times in my life. If this is the case, do make an effort to reassure your partner that while cannabis is wonderful for your purposes (from your description), it is not a substitute for a human partner - and you do not intend it as such!

As above, it is very important to work out what it is that your partner is specifically concerned about. Do they think cannabis may cause negative health outcomes? Do they have problematic ideas about addiction (this is very common)? Maybe something else of course. The key is to hear them out, discuss it together and come to a hopefully mutual understanding about whether there is actually a problem or not.

If the resulting understanding is not mutual, sadly it may be a relationship-breaking problem in the long run. Here's to hoping that it is not that kind of problem

Best of luck to you guys in talking it out!

 

[His_Highness]

My partner doesn't see it this way - he sees it as self medicating and going overboard.

Im smoking regularly through the day, for reference.

Could you be more specific as to what your partner's specific complaint is? Many people vape throughout the day but don't get noticeably buzzed and then there are others who could do a decent imitation of Cheech and Chong. Then there's the cost aspect.

So is your partner's issue just the frequency or how buzzed you get, the cost or.......

 

[GetLeft]

If the resulting understanding is not mutual, sadly it may be a relationship-breaking problem

Very nice post, @herbivore21 . Thanks!

I have to ask myself as an oldie... Are relationships no longer intended to endure differences, misunderstandings and hardships? It seems selfish to me to think that it's possible to reap all the benefits of a relationship without enduring its challenges. Challenges and hardships can be overcome in time and even make a relationship more fulfilling in the end. It's difficult. But I think I favor that tac over bailing ship when things get a little dirty and the sea looks a little rough.

 

[herbivore21]

Very nice post, @herbivore21 . Thanks!

I have to ask myself as an oldie... Are relationships no longer intended to endure differences, misunderstandings and hardships? It seems selfish to me to think that it's possible to reap all the benefits of a relationship without enduring its challenges. Challenges and hardships can be overcome in time and even make a relationship more fulfilling in the end. It's difficult. But I think I favor that tac over bailing ship when things get a little dirty and the sea looks a little rough.

Ah this raises the subtle difference between stating the reality of things as they are, as opposed to what we would prefer or approve of.

I agree with you, there shouldn't be any problem with these kinds of differences - why couldn't two sensible adults who presumably love one another tolerate a difference of opinion on consuming cannabis?

However, I have witnessed many relationships destroyed because there was no mutual understanding between the parties regarding cannabis, so this is why I cautioned that a lack of an agreed position on this topic could be a relationship-breaker. Sadly, IME not everybody is prepared to tolerate differences when it comes to this discussion

 

[Diggy Smalls]

Talking. The answer is always to talk about it. If there's yelling, you're doing it wrong, take a time out, and try again later. Sometimes I get psyched out expecting a fight, when in truth, she just wants to talk things through. (exes from the past argued with me so much I sincerely thought I was the issue)

Talking things through requires listening on both sides, though. Here are some pointers I try to remind myself of when we need to have a hard or emotional talk:
1. Try to avoid accusations - speak about my own point of view and feelings
2. Don't assume I know what's in the other person's mind
3. We are both on the same side, there is no winning

It's been said ad nauseam that relationships are hard work and we need to fight to make them work. This is no longer my view at all. Life is already hard enough, I want my home life to be pleasant. There are hard moments, but it's not hard work. It's easy to love my lady. Finally, we've had conversations about cannabis, and she has seen it take over an exe's life and also have negative side effects, so she was worried about me and my usage. Understanding that, we were able to see eye to eye and both feel comfortable about my usage.
Hope it helps. Goodluck.

 

[shredder]

Talking. The answer is always to talk about it. If there's yelling, you're doing it wrong, take a time out, and try again later. Sometimes I get psyched out expecting a fight, when in truth, she just wants to talk things through. (exes from the past argued with me so much I sincerely thought I was the issue)

Talking things through requires listening on both sides, though. Here are some pointers I try to remind myself of when we need to have a hard or emotional talk:
1. Try to avoid accusations - speak about my own point of view and feelings
2. Don't assume I know what's in the other person's mind
3. We are both on the same side, there is no winning

It's been said ad nauseam that relationships are hard work and we need to fight to make them work. This is no longer my view at all. Life is already hard enough, I want my home life to be pleasant. There are hard moments, but it's not hard work. It's easy to love my lady. Finally, we've had conversations about cannabis, and she has seen it take over an exe's life and also have negative side effects, so she was worried about me and my usage. Understanding that, we were able to see eye to eye and both feel comfortable about my usage.
Hope it helps. Goodluck.

Good answer, talk. And listen. It may be something isn't getting done, or something is falling apart because of too much involvement with our herb or some aspect of it.

Either way, talk, and listen.

 

[C No Ego]

so I've really gotten into vaping concentrates, I feel like it makes me focus better and enjoy the moment. I am more driven at work, more creative, more open about my feelings. I'm more interested in my job, more relaxed.

My partner doesn't see it this way - he sees it as self medicating and going overboard.

Anyone go through this kind of situation?

Im smoking regularly through the day, for reference.

if your partner is open explain the endocannabinoid system to him as that is the system you boost with cannabis use... you can use cannabimimetic compoundes too to titrate dose and not use just cannabis alone... though if you were vaporizing angels tears or fairies farts people would be offended regardless so....

 

[crawdad]

even though my partner and i both partake there are times when im floatin a bit beyond her reach and i can sense when our dialog and reasoning are simply out of balance due to angle of enlightenment. its easy to blame the bowl at those times and in my experience its the only time discussion of amount has come up and back when i used to jump to education about the herb it was seen as me just saying "there is no problem, get over it". ultimately, for us at least, its knowing when is a good time to take that extra couple hits or perhaps just ride that buzz out. i might be a little off base for OP's issue, just my take on this. making little adjustments in your routine that work for the both of you will go a long way.

 

[toked23]

if you were vaporizing angels tears or fairies farts people would be offended regardless so....

Wow, hahahahahaha, vaporizing fairies farts

 

[JackBrus]

My partner does not do herbs, but reluctantly accepts me using it. She knows that my alternative is alcohol, which I tend to go overboard with. We did have discussions in the past though. Here is my list for success, just reporting what works for me.

1- I only vape in the evening.
2- I make sure we can maintain a conversation. She hates it when I am "on my own planet". So I'm a microdose master I like that, just take the edge off things. On a scale, I'm on a 1 or 2. If I want to get really medicated, I pick some other time, when I'm by myself.
3- As a result, I don't spend too much money on this hobby
4 - I keep my gear out of the living and I vape/smoke outside, to avoid smell.
5 - it helps when I do my part of the chores in and around the house.

BTW, I get the impression that it's mostly males who like the herb and/or get overboard with that; do you also see that ?

 

[Tranquility]

BTW, I get the impression that it's mostly males who like the herb and/or get overboard with that; do you also see that ?

Boys and girls are different. Both tend towards the same behaviors and percentages on abuse, but boys use it more.

In the hilariously PC titled "Sex and Gender Differences in Substance Use" at:

https://www.drugabuse.gov/publicati...women/sex-gender-differences-in-substance-use

they give some of the numbers.

(Why hilariously PC? Because I can't find gender anywhere in their statistics or studies on a quick search. It all has to do with sex--male or female--and not gender.)

 

[JackBrus]

Thanks for the link.

Kind of silly report. Literally the first sentence in the chapter on cannabis is: "Similarly to other addictive drugs, fewer females than males use marijuana..." Note the totally unnecessary adjective addictive. In the chapters on alcohol and nicotine, neither the word addictive, nor the word drugs, are used. Those are called substances.

Call me a whiner, but with a subjectivity like this, it's hard to take their message seriously. Next we have more strange texts. Here we go: "For both sexes, addiction to marijuana is associated with an increased risk of at least one other mental health issue, such as depression or anxiety. However, men who are addicted to marijuana have higher rates of other substance use problems as well as antisocial personality disorders. By contrast, women who are addicted to marijuana have more panic attacks and anxiety disorders"

Let me dissect "addiction to marijuana is associated with an increased risk of at least one other mental health issue" Hey! Our good old friend! The famous Correlation & Causation Fallacy ! Meaning: what is causing what?
Normally there are 4 possibilities:
1) marijuana addiction leads to other metal issues
2) mental issues lead to more use of cannabis, possibly as self-medication,
3) there is a common cause for both mental issues and substance use. Such as having a certain personality & character, growing up in certain conditions, etc.
4) there is no relation, is it just noise, coincidence.

For the sake of argument, let´s go with 1: "marijuana addiction leads to other metal issues". What does this tell about the risk of (normal) cannabis use ? Nothing !

Interesting in the report (if we may trust the data?) is that apparenty more men then women use, but that of male and female users, similar percentages develop problematic use. Thanks for the link, @OldNewbie

 

[Tranquility]

The famous Correlation & Causation Fallacy !

http://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

 

[Amoreena]

... BTW, I get the impression that it's mostly males who like the herb and/or get overboard with that; do you also see that ?

Males seem to outnumber female members at this site, anyhow.

 

[Stu]

I just deleted some off-topic posts and want to let you all know that we are not going to have a debate about gender in this thread. This is a vaporizer forum ffs.

 

[virtualpurple]

My partner uses cannabis, but prefers to use less than I do. She thinks that I prefer to be high all the time, and she may be right in that I prefer to stay medicated. I have been on a hiatus since December 28th preparing for a new job. I am in limbo right now without an indication for when I will be able to resume, but I do think that when my girlfriend is able to vape again (she has been on a break while in nursing school in South Dakota) that she will relax a little.

I also think that when I am able to resume that I will be going in with hopefully a much lower tolerance and will be able to use far less cannabis to achieve the effect I am after.

Part of the problem is that I do rather enjoy being medicated, and I feel like it makes some of my favorite activities that much more enjoyable.

Another part of the problem for me at least, is that I find vaporizers so fun to use in general. I am looking for cannabis alternatives that I can use with my current vaporizers in part just because I miss the ritual involved with my vaporizers. Honestly, I just find the process of exhaling visible vapor to be relaxing.

 

[TastyClouds]

As for the OP, there is a foundation for the complaints from your partner and that is what needs to be addressed in order to come to a reasonable conclusion for the both of you. Once you know exactly what the root of the issue is, you can make adjustments to your lifestyle as needed or maybe there is something he/she is missing or doesn't understand about your Cannabis use. Be honest with yourself as well, if you are truely going overboard (which I have done plenty of times) it might be harder for you to see yourself until you step back from using Cannabis a while.

Me personally, I am lucky that my partner actually prefers me to be medicated, her only complaint is how long it takes me. I love session style vapes and when my tolerance is high, I might spend 40 minutes slowly sipping 2 fat bowls from the Mighty. I could see from her perspective 40 minutes is a long time to wait for someone if they are literally just waiting around for you, so my solution was to take a quick dab when I am with her, and keep the vaping sessions for times when im by myself. Or multitask and vape while we spend time together, like on a hike or on a long drive (and im not driving). Flexibility is the name of the game.