Parents That Vape
- Thread starter Bluntcrush
- Start date
stickstones
Vapor concierge
It's great to see this thread getting some more life...one of the best on the net!
I'm now out to all my kids. I told my youngest (15) this past summer because we were having extended house guests and it was going to get thrust before her whether I liked it or not, and I always like to get ahead of the issues when it comes to my kids.
I appreciate all the new stories posted here. It just goes to show there is no one right way, and with family dynamics being so diverse there are a lot of ways to go about it. I think an important thing is that the issue should be handled consistently with your parenting style. For instance, @His_Highness was in a situation I have been trying to avoid (getting caught), but for his family dynamic it worked and he handled it wonderfully.
fwiw, my guideposts for how to handle the issue have been: protecting innocence for as long as possible, staying honest, and equipping them for the issue once it becomes pertinent to their lives. For those of us in the USA, at least, it becomes pertinent in high school, if not earlier. Had I waited until they knew what it looked and smelled like they would have gotten ahead of me, so I got ahead of them. This was the hardest part of the issue for me...timing. What to do was not as big an issue...I just handle it like all my other parenting issues. In our house we stress openness under the reasoning that if we don't know what's going on we can't possibly equip them for it.
At this point I have shown it to my oldest two and tried it with them. To my surprise neither one of them has much interest in it (this is one place where the education system has helped me out...we have so many stoned kids in high school that it makes it unattractive to those who want to accomplish something!). The invitation to show it to my youngest is still open, but she hasn't shown any interest. So we keep protecting innocence by not putting it in front of them.
Today I feel great about how it has all turned out. All my kids know and those that were curious have tasted. My stuff can now be left out in my bedroom without me worrying about unwanted exposure. No one seems to want to partake but me, and that is perfect as I have told all my kids that if they wanted to get into it they would be best served waiting until their mid twenties to give their brains a shot at full development. I don't worry about the kids using it inappropriately since they know what it does to their consciousness and can avoid using it in a bad environment.
Isn't it interesting that when we are told we can't do something it's all we want to do, but if it's made readily available we can do without it just fine?
I'm now out to all my kids. I told my youngest (15) this past summer because we were having extended house guests and it was going to get thrust before her whether I liked it or not, and I always like to get ahead of the issues when it comes to my kids.
I appreciate all the new stories posted here. It just goes to show there is no one right way, and with family dynamics being so diverse there are a lot of ways to go about it. I think an important thing is that the issue should be handled consistently with your parenting style. For instance, @His_Highness was in a situation I have been trying to avoid (getting caught), but for his family dynamic it worked and he handled it wonderfully.
fwiw, my guideposts for how to handle the issue have been: protecting innocence for as long as possible, staying honest, and equipping them for the issue once it becomes pertinent to their lives. For those of us in the USA, at least, it becomes pertinent in high school, if not earlier. Had I waited until they knew what it looked and smelled like they would have gotten ahead of me, so I got ahead of them. This was the hardest part of the issue for me...timing. What to do was not as big an issue...I just handle it like all my other parenting issues. In our house we stress openness under the reasoning that if we don't know what's going on we can't possibly equip them for it.
At this point I have shown it to my oldest two and tried it with them. To my surprise neither one of them has much interest in it (this is one place where the education system has helped me out...we have so many stoned kids in high school that it makes it unattractive to those who want to accomplish something!). The invitation to show it to my youngest is still open, but she hasn't shown any interest. So we keep protecting innocence by not putting it in front of them.
Today I feel great about how it has all turned out. All my kids know and those that were curious have tasted. My stuff can now be left out in my bedroom without me worrying about unwanted exposure. No one seems to want to partake but me, and that is perfect as I have told all my kids that if they wanted to get into it they would be best served waiting until their mid twenties to give their brains a shot at full development. I don't worry about the kids using it inappropriately since they know what it does to their consciousness and can avoid using it in a bad environment.
Isn't it interesting that when we are told we can't do something it's all we want to do, but if it's made readily available we can do without it just fine?
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That's an awesome story @stickstones - I share the same sentiments on children. Though I don't know when I may have children (my wife sadly has no desire to bear a child). I plan on raising them with the same approach - introduce and address the issues before they discover them on their own. I too have said for years I will allow my children to smoke (vape), but I want to educate them on why they should wait until their mid-20's to start. If they want to partake on holidays/special ocassions in their later teens, that's fine with me, but I wouldn't want them to make it a daily event
stickstones
Vapor concierge
It's really neat how the dynamic has changed now that they know. I used to hide in my bedroom or outside and try not to get detected. While that years-long habit made it feel weird at first, the freedom to use in their presence is liberating. To protect the innocence I still do it in private most of the time. But now when they knock on my door during a session I don't have to freak out. My oldest will come in and talk about what is on her mind while I am finishing up and we are both comfortable with it. If they are uncomfortable they don't have to come in. About once a month I will migrate a vape to the living room while it's just the wife and me. Those are my favorite sessions as they are so relaxing. I still pack it all up before anyone gets home, but that's out of respect and not fear, which is a huge difference!
My youngest still has not seen the herb, as she wasn't interested, but she has seen me vape with friends once (with that crew that came in during the summer) and she just walked off.
My boy in the middle has done it with me a few times and once without me. The experience without me was a bad one for him and he left that saying he wouldn't do it again without me (WIN!!!). The best part about his usage is that I told him to tell me when he wanted to try it and we would determine together if it was appropriate. Since that time he has only come to me once and I have offered a few times with him declining every time. It really stoked me that he declined, as that tells me he will have no problem declining out in the world if he is offered and doesn't want it. It's all about getting them ready to make good decisions when we are not around.
This has been mentioned earlier, but it's important to be able to trust your kids if you open up to them. We always explain the problems that can arise if they share our family secrets, and they have respected it. This wouldn't work for a lot of families.
My youngest still has not seen the herb, as she wasn't interested, but she has seen me vape with friends once (with that crew that came in during the summer) and she just walked off.
My boy in the middle has done it with me a few times and once without me. The experience without me was a bad one for him and he left that saying he wouldn't do it again without me (WIN!!!). The best part about his usage is that I told him to tell me when he wanted to try it and we would determine together if it was appropriate. Since that time he has only come to me once and I have offered a few times with him declining every time. It really stoked me that he declined, as that tells me he will have no problem declining out in the world if he is offered and doesn't want it. It's all about getting them ready to make good decisions when we are not around.
This has been mentioned earlier, but it's important to be able to trust your kids if you open up to them. We always explain the problems that can arise if they share our family secrets, and they have respected it. This wouldn't work for a lot of families.
His_Highness
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
Many of us had a real good head start on our kids with regard to what they shouldn't do. I was fond of saying to my kids that 'There's nothing you're going to do or try to get away with that I haven't already done ten times over. I will see it coming long before you even know what it is your going to do.' To reinforce the statement ..... As they were growing up I'd offer up stories of my past when I thought they were age appropriate and just before their opportunity to make a bad decision was coming. Drugs, sex, fights, friends lost, getting kicked out of school and why I had to join the Navy. In each story was a lesson and by the time the story was told they were either eyes wide or eyes shut. Sometimes my own parents and brothers would relate a story when they were older and they knew I was already truth telling. My kids grew up knowing I started my life on the wrong foot but was lucky enough to make a good life out of the mess that I caused myself. They also knew that they were the most important thing in my life and that I wouldn't hesitate to get in front of anything that would harm them including themselves and that I would do it with every ounce of my being.
One of the best methods for getting them to understand that I knew what I was talking about was fortune telling. They'll probably not believe your soothsaying abilities but when it comes true they start to get it. How many times have you said 'If I only knew then what I know now'? Well...when it comes to your kids you do know. Use it to your advantage and theirs. It's a savings account....pays off in compounding as the years go by.
One of the best methods for getting them to understand that I knew what I was talking about was fortune telling. They'll probably not believe your soothsaying abilities but when it comes true they start to get it. How many times have you said 'If I only knew then what I know now'? Well...when it comes to your kids you do know. Use it to your advantage and theirs. It's a savings account....pays off in compounding as the years go by.
HellsWindStaff
Dharma Initiate
I'm not a parent, but I'll throw in my perspective as a "kid" so to speak (23).
-First started smoking at 16, realized that my entire childhood, one of my best friends dads was high all the time. My family doesn't smoke, so I never noticed the smell, and my friend also was unaware of it. We used to have a blast messing with him while we knew he was high, and some of the stuff he said was downright hilarious. He came up one time and explained how crisp and great this one particular apple was, what a hilarious conversation. Never smoked with the guy though, nor did this change my impression of him.
-Another friend's parents would let us smoke in his garage, long as we would stay the night. They both smoked, but never smoked with us, just let us do our own thing. The mom would bring us out munchies and the dad would occasionally come out for a cigarette/shoot the shit/have a beer. NEVER smoked with his parents except for a few occasions where just me, him, his brother, and his dad got lit before going fishing. Man time.
Both of the above groupings, I consider awesome parents to a degree. The first one is kinda shitty for other reasons, but in terms of dealing with his marijuana use with his kid, got to give the guy credit.
My issue is though, I've had other parents, and more or less these are the parents of acquaintances. The friend of a girl I'm crushing on. A guy in high school who I know but don't hang out with regularly. I've been to parties hosted by these "random" people for lack of a better term, and their parents are out partying with the kids, granted, they don't really know all of them, but since their kid is having a party at their house, they might as well get lit/loaded too. They'll ask their kids to find them weed, and just in general "hang out" at the whole party drinking and smoking with their kid and "the party."
These type of parents, the first few times I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Hey look how cool these parents are, they're just getting loaded with us! But as I got a bit older, really once I hit like 18, 19, these type of parents rubbed me the wrong way....what are you doing? You shouldn't be supplying your kids with alcohol/weed or asking them to get you drugs....it was actually kind of sad how immature these "adults" acted.
Though, this perspective even changed a bit with time. Old people need fun too
Now that I'm a bit older, I could care less what these adults are doing at parties I attend, though more often than not they are not there I have smoked with a few of my friends moms though, always fun, but they also aren't asking me or their sons to get them bud.
It's a fine line, I really enjoy my one friends parents who let us drink/smoke at their house....they just always gave us our space and never tried to "fit in" with the kids by smoking or drinking....they were just doing the same thing on their own time inside! So I implore all you parents, don't smoke with your kids unless its 1v1 or its with a kids childhood friend, you may feel like the "cool" mom or dad at the party, but inside all your kids friends are thinking, "What's up with this guy?"
-First started smoking at 16, realized that my entire childhood, one of my best friends dads was high all the time. My family doesn't smoke, so I never noticed the smell, and my friend also was unaware of it. We used to have a blast messing with him while we knew he was high, and some of the stuff he said was downright hilarious. He came up one time and explained how crisp and great this one particular apple was, what a hilarious conversation. Never smoked with the guy though, nor did this change my impression of him.
-Another friend's parents would let us smoke in his garage, long as we would stay the night. They both smoked, but never smoked with us, just let us do our own thing. The mom would bring us out munchies and the dad would occasionally come out for a cigarette/shoot the shit/have a beer. NEVER smoked with his parents except for a few occasions where just me, him, his brother, and his dad got lit before going fishing. Man time.
Both of the above groupings, I consider awesome parents to a degree. The first one is kinda shitty for other reasons, but in terms of dealing with his marijuana use with his kid, got to give the guy credit.
My issue is though, I've had other parents, and more or less these are the parents of acquaintances. The friend of a girl I'm crushing on. A guy in high school who I know but don't hang out with regularly. I've been to parties hosted by these "random" people for lack of a better term, and their parents are out partying with the kids, granted, they don't really know all of them, but since their kid is having a party at their house, they might as well get lit/loaded too. They'll ask their kids to find them weed, and just in general "hang out" at the whole party drinking and smoking with their kid and "the party."
These type of parents, the first few times I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Hey look how cool these parents are, they're just getting loaded with us! But as I got a bit older, really once I hit like 18, 19, these type of parents rubbed me the wrong way....what are you doing? You shouldn't be supplying your kids with alcohol/weed or asking them to get you drugs....it was actually kind of sad how immature these "adults" acted.
Though, this perspective even changed a bit with time. Old people need fun too
Now that I'm a bit older, I could care less what these adults are doing at parties I attend, though more often than not they are not there I have smoked with a few of my friends moms though, always fun, but they also aren't asking me or their sons to get them bud.It's a fine line, I really enjoy my one friends parents who let us drink/smoke at their house....they just always gave us our space and never tried to "fit in" with the kids by smoking or drinking....they were just doing the same thing on their own time inside! So I implore all you parents, don't smoke with your kids unless its 1v1 or its with a kids childhood friend, you may feel like the "cool" mom or dad at the party, but inside all your kids friends are thinking, "What's up with this guy?"
His_Highness
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
HWS --- Thank you for putting into words what I didn't mention but should have. It wasn't until my kids were adults that I got comfortable with a reduction in my role as 'their strict but loving father' and combined it with a new role as 'their friend'. I was never the father who was willing to sacrifice respect for being liked. This may sound harsh but I believed when they were much younger, that it was important to earn their respect more than being liked because its hard to love someone you don't respect. Some of us are old enough to remember Homey The Clown ... at a school function my daughter kiddingly said 'Homey Don't Play That' and a adult jokingly said 'Why Not'...without missing a beat she said 'Because my father said he can't'. It wasn't all stick and no carrot but my wife and I were consistent even though it hurt at times to hear the inevitable 'I hate you'.
HellsWindStaff
Dharma Initiate
That's the way you gotta do it, its better to be revered by the youngsters as "His Highnesses' Daughters Dad" than "His Highness"....those "I hate you"'s probably sting at the time, and god knows I've said some awful things to my parents, but my Dad always told me, "You may not understand WHY, but I am only doing/saying these things because I love you...I felt the same way as a kid, wait til you get a bit older"
And one day it just came lol, idk I grew up or just became more mature, but I apologized while I was drunk last Christmas with him for being such a shit as a teenager....it was in good fun, just an innocent comment, but he really took it to heart, we had a good laugh/discussion about the shit I used to do, and I can't wait someday to have my own teenager who will inevitably hate me lol.
t-dub
Vapor Sloth
I have a 15 year old girl right now that doesn't have much use for me . . .
She knows I'm disabled, on chemo, and vape. She is not interested. The 22 year old I have is obviously older and a different story. Before she got serious in nursing school she was consuming with friends. I helped answer some questions for her but thats about it. The one thing that worries me about this whole deal is CPS. They just took some poor lady's kids the other day because an anonymous caller said their was a "toxic" substance in the house. All they found was a non FDA approved water mineralization supplement. Loose lips do indeed sink ships these days.
Chill Dude
Well-Known Member
Nice post dude! Those parents may not feel very cool if they wind up being arrested for partying with underage kids. All it takes is one of the kids parents to find out and call the cops.
I'm 50 years old and I remember those parents that would allow us to party and or party with us when we we were in high school. Although I thought it was cool that we had a place to party; I also remember thinking...Fuck, I'm glad my parents aren't like that! No respect for them...
I personally, would never consider partying with my kids or any of their friends until at least college age. Even then I would use good judgement and caution.
A lot of you guys responding on this thread have adult children(or close to being an adult). When my kids are older I'll probably handle the situation in similar fashion to Sticks, but they are too young now. The fact is younger kids generally don't keep these things to themselves they will blab away to their friends and when their parents find out they could very well catorigize me as one of those bad parents that expose kids to weed and party with them. That could not be further from the truth.
Great posts guys! Super touchy subject.
Well fuck, I guess I'll just keep hiding in the garage or the bathroom out by our pool for my vape sessions for the time being. However, I do feel bad and kind of guilty that I have to hide. Who knows my opinion on this may evolve has time goes on.
WeedyGirl1979
Well-Known Member
Count me in as one of those kids that grew up with parents that were not my friend. Guess what? We're friends now, because I'm grown. I wanted my parents to be 'cool' when I was younger (although I was far from 'cool' myself) but now I'm glad my parents were the stompy feet sometimes.
As for my 'kids', being removed from their actual caregiving makes me more careful, because I know how their mom feels about it (no teetotaler like a reformed one) and I don't want them to think 'well WG does it' as an excuse. Plus, CPS and all that, but I worry less about that now that I don't combust at all-less tell-tale signs.
As for my 'kids', being removed from their actual caregiving makes me more careful, because I know how their mom feels about it (no teetotaler like a reformed one) and I don't want them to think 'well WG does it' as an excuse. Plus, CPS and all that, but I worry less about that now that I don't combust at all-less tell-tale signs.
stickstones
Vapor concierge
@HellsWindStaff and @WeedyGirl1979 -- thanks for chiming in from the kid perspective. I have done a lot of 'interviewing' other parents for ideas, but one of the best things I ever heard was from the one kid I got to talk to who was raised by what he called 'hippies'. I was struggling with whether or not being open with my kids and providing some minimal exposure would be a bad thing. And here was a good kid who grew up with it all around. He said he didn't think it mattered what we did as long as it brought us closer as a family. That really stuck with me in all kinds of decisions, not just this one. In the end, just try to handle any situation in a way that makes the family closer and not more divided.
SoulCaptivesAreFree
Hazemaniac
Reading some of the responses to this thread i get the impression that some actually think that using cannabis in front of kids is inherently wrong, i find that strange (situations with possible 2nd hand vapor/smoke excluded of course). What's wrong for me is the prohibition of a harmless plant, i only hide it from my daughter because of the absurd legal situation.
Do you think it's wrong to use coffee in front of kids too? It's psychoactive too
that is beautiful
Do you think it's wrong to use coffee in front of kids too? It's psychoactive too
that is beautiful
lwien
Well-Known Member
One thing that's not being discussed here is the potential damage that weed can cause on a developing brain. Recent MRI and other imaging studies have shown that it can have lifelong negative affects on young, developing brains and that ranges all the up to 25 years old. Also, these affects, lower IQ and reduced white matter, apparently doesn't occur when usage begins as an adult.
Just some food for thought here.
Just some food for thought here.
t-dub
Vapor Sloth
You are correct, delayed initiation is the key, not mindless prohibition. However there are a lot of other substances that will hinder your development as well like alcohol for instance. Its easy to look at the unintended consequences of cannabis use by youth but for some reason people don't seem to see the unintended consequences of prohibition to weigh against accordingly.
Solomon
Talk to the Beard
Okay, I must live in another world....
Back in the early 70's, I found out my mother smoked weed when I started high school, and we smoked many times together once I went to college and she was dying of cancer. That's when I started respecting it as a valuable medicine.
All of my friends smoked weed in college. Most of them were "A" students, and are now scientists, chemists, professors, doctors, authors, and lawyers. Just about all of them still smoke or vape weed, and none of them are alcoholics or hard drug abusers - something I can't say for the non-weed crowd.
My kids (now 19 and 17) know my wife and I vape, and we vape together on occasion. In fact, most of my kids friends regularly smoke either with their parents or with their parents permission. We would rather they do these things at home than in a car or a park or (worst case) at school, like so many of their friends with "totally straight parents" are forced to do. We don't do it to be "cool" or to be our kid's friends. They know and respect us as parents. If vaping makes your kids not respect you, something else is going on there, imho.
We also prefer it to drinking, which is also illegal at their age, and is very dangerous. Six people die EVER DAY from alcohol poisoning, in fact, 1 out of 10 deaths of people 20-64 is from alcohol. Over 100,000 Americans dead from alcohol over the past 10 years.
My wife and I are really okay with our kids vaping. I gave both my kids vapes so they don't combust weed like most of their friends. In fact, they are the "pied-piper" of vaping amongst their group They know and understand when it's okay to be vaped, and when they need to be clear and working. Both my kids are A students, both are in college.
My kids also respect it as a medicine. They know that if I don't vape, I am taking narcotic pain medications, and I seem much more comfortable and clear-headed when vaping. They've also seen me curled into a ball in pain. My oldest was prescribed Prozac for an anxiety disorder. MMJ works MUCH better, and I am MUCH happier knowing that if she feels an anxiety attack coming, she has a quick vape and it's over. Prozac is both addictive and fraught with many harmful side-effects that MMJ is not.
But I will add that all of this open-ness didn't start until the kids were well into high school and were regularly encountering alcohol and drugs almost every day at school and at friend's homes. At some point we decided that honesty was important for their own safety. It's what kids don't know that hurts them. I think you also have to know your own kids - what's good for one might not be for another. It's always a judgement call.
Back in the early 70's, I found out my mother smoked weed when I started high school, and we smoked many times together once I went to college and she was dying of cancer. That's when I started respecting it as a valuable medicine.
All of my friends smoked weed in college. Most of them were "A" students, and are now scientists, chemists, professors, doctors, authors, and lawyers. Just about all of them still smoke or vape weed, and none of them are alcoholics or hard drug abusers - something I can't say for the non-weed crowd.
My kids (now 19 and 17) know my wife and I vape, and we vape together on occasion. In fact, most of my kids friends regularly smoke either with their parents or with their parents permission. We would rather they do these things at home than in a car or a park or (worst case) at school, like so many of their friends with "totally straight parents" are forced to do. We don't do it to be "cool" or to be our kid's friends. They know and respect us as parents. If vaping makes your kids not respect you, something else is going on there, imho.
We also prefer it to drinking, which is also illegal at their age, and is very dangerous. Six people die EVER DAY from alcohol poisoning, in fact, 1 out of 10 deaths of people 20-64 is from alcohol. Over 100,000 Americans dead from alcohol over the past 10 years.
My wife and I are really okay with our kids vaping. I gave both my kids vapes so they don't combust weed like most of their friends. In fact, they are the "pied-piper" of vaping amongst their group
They know and understand when it's okay to be vaped, and when they need to be clear and working. Both my kids are A students, both are in college.My kids also respect it as a medicine. They know that if I don't vape, I am taking narcotic pain medications, and I seem much more comfortable and clear-headed when vaping. They've also seen me curled into a ball in pain. My oldest was prescribed Prozac for an anxiety disorder. MMJ works MUCH better, and I am MUCH happier knowing that if she feels an anxiety attack coming, she has a quick vape and it's over. Prozac is both addictive and fraught with many harmful side-effects that MMJ is not.
But I will add that all of this open-ness didn't start until the kids were well into high school and were regularly encountering alcohol and drugs almost every day at school and at friend's homes. At some point we decided that honesty was important for their own safety. It's what kids don't know that hurts them. I think you also have to know your own kids - what's good for one might not be for another. It's always a judgement call.
stickstones
Vapor concierge
I have wrestled with this a lot. I don't think anything is wrong with it or I wouldn't do it. But overcoming my internal feelings that were planted in me as a child is always a struggle. Sometimes I battle within myself between what I now believe is right and the shame associated with drugs that comes with being raised in this society. I think that is the hardest part.
Whether we like it or not, our default parenting styles come straight from our parents. When a new situation comes up that I haven't thought through, my first reaction is to act like my father did. Drugs weren't used in my family and my father never had a drink in front of me. Turns out he stopped (not that he did it much) once he had me. So my example growing up was one of not using around children. I was also taught that drugs limit your potential and what you can accomplish. It wasn't until later when I got caught after my first weed experience that he shared with me that he thought it was the perfect drug and he would do it every day if it were appropriate for him (although he was not a user). My parents told me drugs and alcohol were bad and I had to hide what little use I did. There was no discussion of its potential benefits or how to use it appropriately. So hiding it from my kids comes naturally.
Fast forward to today and I am a user that wants to have his kids make good, appropriate decisions in life. I believe I am making those decisions and can lead my children to the same kind of thinking, but sometimes it goes against my insides!
@Solomon -- thanks for sharing! We seem to be in similar situations except my kids aren't showing much interest in using. Its good to know I'm not alone!
crawdad
floatin
that thought scares the living shit out of me on a daily basis, im a recovering soul trying to leave this place in better shape than i was shown growing up. talk about a struggle. anyways, chemical inducement of any kind to me is just one cog in the wheel of enlightenment which over time grows to fill the space of our known self. my hope is that my kids know who they are quicker than it took me and that, to me, has more to do with the environment that you provide to them than deciding when is a good time for this or that. \\//
His_Highness
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
Eliminating the parents who may have raised their children as friends/equals rather than children....I think some of the current differences in MJ parenting style also come from geographical differences associated with legality. I didn't hide my occasional glass of wine with dinner/alcohol, cigarette smoking/nicotine, coffee/caffeine because it was legal for me to use them. I made it clear to my kids that some of these substances they were not of legal age for yet and therefore could not use them. I also made clear the distinctions between each product...alcohol in moderation, cigarettes had me by the receptors and I'm a fool to have started with them and I'm trying to rid my life of them, caffeine in moderation once your in your teens. Boundaries set. As far as MJ I had no issue with telling them it should be legal and the reasons why.......BUT the biggest reason for me keeping my MJ use under wraps till they were 21 and over (Although looking back I could have released the hounds when the youngest was around 18) was already stated...the laws prohibiting MJ use. Kids tend to view what right and what's wrong based on what they are exposed to and more so when it comes to a parent. With my less than stellar history with the law there was no way I was going to give my kids the impression that breaking the law could be rationalized. I told them what I needed to protect them from themselves and had to hypocritically hide because of it........................telling my kids that the laws that govern us should be obeyed or legally changed by the populace and that ignorance of the law is no excuse and finally, if you break a law, even for a good reason...you must own and take responsibility for the consequences....wouldn't have worked if I was holding a joint when I said it 
Chill Dude
Well-Known Member
No, I don't think using cannabis in front of your OWN kids is inherently wrong. I think that's a judgement call that parents must make based on the age and maturity of their kids. However, I do think it would be inherently wrong to use cannabis in front of other people's kids without their prior approval. I don't feel you have a right to do that.
Although I see your point on the coffee analogy, I think it's a flawed analogy. Coffee is a mild stimulant and yes it is also mildly addictive. Coffee has not been shown to effect ones IQ or brain development in adolescents while cannabis has been linked to those effects. So, yeah, I have no problem if my kids drink coffee and I certainly use coffee in front of them as well as their friends.
I think the best analogy for your particular argument would be alcohol. I think most of us on this thread would agree that alcohol is a much more dangerous substance as compared to cannabis. Yet, people drink alcohol in front of their kids and their kid's friends all the time. It is simply more socially acceptable. Even very conservative parents would usually not care if you drank a couple glasses of wine or cocktails in the presence of their children. However, I doubt very much they'd feel the same way about cannabis. Now that's a valid example of the hypocracy of it all!
grokit
well-worn member
Sadly this is why I have chosen not to reproduce. I am still recovering from the psychological scars of my upbringing, and have no inclination to pass on the kind of dysfunction that I was raised with.
SoulCaptivesAreFree
Hazemaniac
I think it's no problem to drink alcohol in front of children, just as well as vaping in front of them. Hell i don't think using heroin in front children is inherently wrong (playing devils advocate here) as long as you use it and don't abuse it. How in the world are children supposed to learn to responsibly use if it is kept out of their sight like a dirty little secret (which is addict behaviour at its best btw).
I hope you are aware that the distinction between using in front of your own kids and the kids of others is completely arbitrary? What about eating sugar? What about eating fastfood? What about using guns? I applaud you trying to be a rolemodel for society but don't let others dictate your boundaries. Different people are offended by different things, but that doesn't free them of their responsability to educate their own children to human beings capable of making their own decisions and taking responsabilty for their own lifes...
Comparing alcohol to cannabis is just as wrong as comparing cannabis to coffee. Alcohol is poison, drink a little too much and you're dead. That's on a whole different level than "if you use it regularly early on you might underachieve" - btw i started to use cannabis daily at the age of 15... i'm now close to 30, have a university degree, a happy family, a start-up company plus a job in an asociation that serves public education and my cognitive abilities are such that i am able to discuss with you complex questions of human behaviour in a language that is not native to me
What if i had killed myself at the age of 15 because i couldn't stand growing up in a fucked up world, instead of smoking some herb to deal with this feeling of displacement within human society? Would i still be better off if i hadn't started using cannabis early in my life?
Just my personal 2 cents, nothing is ever black and white - your boundaries are not my boundaries
(which is cool as long as nobody gets hurt and nobody tries to impose their views on me with an argument like "oh won't somebody please think about the children" )edit: please view the last sentence as general ramblings and not directed at you chill dude
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Chill Dude
Well-Known Member
Okay, that's cool..let's agree to disagree. However, I don't think I'm trying to be a role model for society by not using cannabis in front of other people's kids. Although, I don't always agree with the value systems of other parents... I still respect them.
h3rbalist
I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too
I am a child of two 'hippy' parents.
My sisters middle name is Mary Jane, and if not for a last minute re think by my amazing and wonderful Mum my middle name would have been 'Cannabis'. Pronounced 'Can-Nar-Bis' my Dad would later joke.
At age 5 I was rolling joints, joining rizla together in many various formations for my father.
By age 8, he was blowing bong and chillum smoke in my face to calm me down (I was a hyper kid) and instilling into me that cannabis was a plant that mother nature gave us as a gift and any law opposing this view was political and should be opposed.
He was both a grower and smuggler of cannabis. And later went on the spend time in jail for smuggling hash from Rotterdam. My whole childhood I was exposed to drug dealers hangers on, wasters and the customs that go with them, which I grew up believing to be the norm.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I will always resent my Dad for that. Among other things.
Being told the truth about stuff is important, but his choice to prioritise his drug lifestyle over his family and spending time away in prison will always stick with me.
I now have the most vivacious 4 year old daughter and a hansom and chunky legged 4 month old son.
The thought of putting myself in a position where I could go to jail for doing a grow or something does not even enter my head.
I do not hide my volcano. I try to hold it down until they're asleep but occasionally my little girl asks what the green and brown stuff is, I just tell her it's my medication, she nods and moves on to her books and toys. When shes old enough I will explain the details.
Both of whom will be given the truth at all times. But will NOT be exposed to the druggie lifestyle.
They are my priority now until the day I die.
My sisters middle name is Mary Jane, and if not for a last minute re think by my amazing and wonderful Mum my middle name would have been 'Cannabis'. Pronounced 'Can-Nar-Bis' my Dad would later joke.
At age 5 I was rolling joints, joining rizla together in many various formations for my father.
By age 8, he was blowing bong and chillum smoke in my face to calm me down (I was a hyper kid) and instilling into me that cannabis was a plant that mother nature gave us as a gift and any law opposing this view was political and should be opposed.
He was both a grower and smuggler of cannabis. And later went on the spend time in jail for smuggling hash from Rotterdam. My whole childhood I was exposed to drug dealers hangers on, wasters and the customs that go with them, which I grew up believing to be the norm.
I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I will always resent my Dad for that. Among other things.
Being told the truth about stuff is important, but his choice to prioritise his drug lifestyle over his family and spending time away in prison will always stick with me.
I now have the most vivacious 4 year old daughter and a hansom and chunky legged 4 month old son.
The thought of putting myself in a position where I could go to jail for doing a grow or something does not even enter my head.
I do not hide my volcano. I try to hold it down until they're asleep but occasionally my little girl asks what the green and brown stuff is, I just tell her it's my medication, she nods and moves on to her books and toys. When shes old enough I will explain the details.
Both of whom will be given the truth at all times. But will NOT be exposed to the druggie lifestyle.
They are my priority now until the day I die.
Hey I finally came out of the 'cannabis closet' last year September. I've been a recreational user for the past 10 years. Prior to that I had quit for about 20 years. Had been mixed up with a lot of pills, coke and alcohol as well as cannabis. I started smoking pot for the first time when I was 13. I partied up until I was about 21 when I realized I needed to straighten my life out and grow up. So I quit everything cold turkey. I got my degree in college, got married and had three wonderful children. I got reintroduced to cannabis when a friend of mine passed a joint to me while I was visiting him in New Zealand back in 2005. I forgot how much I enjoyed it and started to vape on a semi regular basis. My kids at the time were still pre teen so it was kind of easy to sneak a toke when I wanted.
My wife didn't even know as she does not partake. I always kind of felt ashamed and paranoid that I would get caught, lose my house and family. I've had a lot of pain in my back and neck which became increasingly bad lately to the point I would spasm and not be able to even get out of bed. Doctor said I have severe arthritis in my back and neck and put me on hydrocodone and steroids and told me I would need surgery one day. That was when I decided there had to be an alternative to the opiates. Luckily I live in a medical state so I went and got my card. I told my wife what I was going to do and she was ok with it after seeing how much pain I was in. I then told her I wanted to tell the kids. My kids are 21, 18 and 17 now. I wanted to make sure I was legal and had my card before I broke the news to them. My two oldest were cool with it but my youngest was kind of shocked. She is one those kids that has been taught in school that all drugs are bad. She has since come around to it and often kids with me when she sees me playing with my firefly. I don't make a point to hide my stash from them but I will not, out of respect, do it in front of my wife and kids. I always go in the garage or in my bedroom upstairs. I don't want them to see me doing it because I feel my kids are still to young to try it. I'm honest with them and answer any questions they may have but I am clear that it is now a necessary medicine for me. I have told them if they are interested in trying it that they should wait until they are at least 25 to give their brains time to mature. Then if they wish to partake I would be happy to do it with them. So far none of them are interested in doing it which is a relief to me as I didn't want to be the one to influence them. It has been extremely liberating to me to have this open relationship with my family. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and I no longer feel ashamed knowing I am within my rights to use this wonderful plant.
My wife didn't even know as she does not partake. I always kind of felt ashamed and paranoid that I would get caught, lose my house and family. I've had a lot of pain in my back and neck which became increasingly bad lately to the point I would spasm and not be able to even get out of bed. Doctor said I have severe arthritis in my back and neck and put me on hydrocodone and steroids and told me I would need surgery one day. That was when I decided there had to be an alternative to the opiates. Luckily I live in a medical state so I went and got my card. I told my wife what I was going to do and she was ok with it after seeing how much pain I was in. I then told her I wanted to tell the kids. My kids are 21, 18 and 17 now. I wanted to make sure I was legal and had my card before I broke the news to them. My two oldest were cool with it but my youngest was kind of shocked. She is one those kids that has been taught in school that all drugs are bad. She has since come around to it and often kids with me when she sees me playing with my firefly. I don't make a point to hide my stash from them but I will not, out of respect, do it in front of my wife and kids. I always go in the garage or in my bedroom upstairs. I don't want them to see me doing it because I feel my kids are still to young to try it. I'm honest with them and answer any questions they may have but I am clear that it is now a necessary medicine for me. I have told them if they are interested in trying it that they should wait until they are at least 25 to give their brains time to mature. Then if they wish to partake I would be happy to do it with them. So far none of them are interested in doing it which is a relief to me as I didn't want to be the one to influence them. It has been extremely liberating to me to have this open relationship with my family. A huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders and I no longer feel ashamed knowing I am within my rights to use this wonderful plant.