Marijuana Makes You Gay..?

[wilf789]

The nice folks at Landover Baptist Church have conducted a 'study' that seems to suggest that smoking the Devil's weed will alter your sexual orientation.

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=48481

Some choice quotes include:

"Brothers, the next time a heathen friend suggests that marijuana is a 'harmless' narcotic, point them to my study before they suffer the same fate as these once healthy young men. An hour of being under the influence of Satan's weed lead to ruined rectums, disease and a lifetime of despair."

"Our study has proven conclusively that men not already afflicted with gayness will certainly become rectum-ravaging Sodomites under the influence of this foul weed."

There are many more I could have picked; I suggest a quick read yourself if you fancy either a good laugh or a good scare at what some people actually seem to believe.

Please don't misconstrue this as an attack on religion in general, while I myself am no longer a Christian, I grew up in such an environment and would like to think of myself as respectful of all faiths.

Even the Landover Baptists are completely entitled to their views, but I still think it's a shame of how intolerant they are. Later on in that thread other Christians start responding, stating that of course MJ hasn't turned them homosexual, and also how these Baptists are giving Christians at large a bad rep.

Also please don't misinterpret this post as homophobic in any way - if anything I've posted it to deter such feelings, and to induce some serious laughter at the language employed on their forum!

Now I'm off to see if the Doc can do anything about my severely ravaged-rectum. I love my MJ so much but just don't know anymore if I can take all the auto-fellatio/anal sex that goes with it...

Help me Jesus!

 

[DaProfessor]

Funny article I'm sorry, I need to burst your bubble of enthusiasm...It's satire

I know wikipedia ain't always accurate, but here ya go - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Landover_Baptist_Church

I remember reading a few things on the message board years ago and was so astonished by the ignorance that I had to dig into it more. I'm glad that it's satirical, unfortunately there are groups out there that really believe these types of things :/

 

[wilf789]

Haha I was actually hoping that it was satire when reading it too! Then, apart from the main posters, it seemed like there genuinely were some people who were members and were buying into it.

I started to get suspicious when I saw all those little icons each poster has, like: 'Ex-Masturbator', 'Ready for the Rapture', and the shaking fist for 'Tell Her Once.' Also the guy who posts as some sort of Christian clown made me think this can't be real...

Still a funny read nonetheless, and like you say there are actual people out there who believe this tripe.

 

[DaProfessor]

Have you read the post about Portal 2 and Angry Birds making you suffer from 'teh gayness'

This shit is hilarious when your vaked!

 

[OhTheAgony]

I'm kinda done with woman anyways, I guess I should vape more!

 

[SmokingElectricity]

i've never been attracted to a man in my life, but yes I am gay, i'm so happy when i'm vaping. I'm a gay, heterosexual male vaporist.

no homo.

 

[aesthyrian]

Well, these are the same morons that think you "become" gay.

Clearly they are already completely ignorant on the topic of homosexuality. We can add pot to that as well, but honestly it's a perfect scapegoat for them to scare people into "believing" more and more importantly donating more.

I definitely know that Jesus fucking HATED gays and nature.

This kind of crap is hilarious until I sit down and think that some people actually eat into this garbage. But in the end when Weed and Gay marriage become legal at about the same time their heads will explode and we will all be happy.

 

[wthanna]

The fictional Landover Baptist Church is a parody of fundamentalist, Independent Baptist churches and Biblical literalism. - per Wikipedia. The whole site is "a joke", literally!

 

[MG23]

"An hour of being under the influence of Satan's weed lead to ruined rectums..."

Personal favorite line.

 

[frogbmth]

More likely the other way round, as a gay man I have a compulsion to suck on things, most often I reach for a vape

 

[Lo]

ROFL Frog!!

 

[aesthyrian]

More likely the other way round, as a gay man I have a compulsion to suck on things, most often I reach for a vape

OH NO! See being gay IS bad for you... it makes you want to vape marijuana!!

 

[VWFringe]

i only read three pararaphs, but that was so funny - especially knowing it was a fake before i clicked

sent the link to my ex-stoner buddies on facebook, hope they get a laugh too, thanks!

 

[herbzzzzzzzz]

haha gay





haha gay





































haha so gay

 

[Nycdeisel]

homophobe^


oh I think I can feel the homosexuality coming on....

 

[lwien]

Of those that are hetrosexual, I wonder what the percentage is of those that are homophobic versus those that aren't?

I would also bet that those that are homophobic are also fearful of anyone that is different from themselves in any way, be it race, religion, nationality, handicaps (both physical and mental), economic stature, political beliefs, etc, etc.

 

[Nycdeisel]

I'd bet that too, the ignorance seems to spread to every aspect of their perspective

you should also wonder, how many people would say they arent homophobic in a survey when they really are, how do you test to see if one is actually homophobic or not?

 

[Stu]

Larry Craig. Ted Haggert. These are your typical homophobes in my opinion. Read into that what you want.

 

[lwien]

Naw, I don't think they're typical. I don't think that most people that are homophobic are latent or closet homosexuals.

 

[lwien]

I'd bet that too, the ignorance seems to spread to every aspect of their perspective

Yup, and one of the key symptoms of ignorance is............fear. And one of the key symptoms of fear is.........anger. All one has to do is look around, even beyond the homosexual issue. It's everywhere. Hell, check out the political arena or anything current in the daily news. Ignorance=fear=anger.

And the other really strange thing about all that is that the more you know, the more you realize how much you don't know, so it seems to me that the only way out of that "ignorance=fear=anger" scenario is to be in a constant learning mode and the only way to do that is to keep your mind open to new ideas and be willing to change your mindset regardless how long you've had it and make that change, if one desires, not based upon fear or anger, but rather based upon knowledge gained from both sides of any argument or debate............which is the reason that this liberal left wing Democrate watches fucking Fox News. Most of the time, I want to put my fist through the TV, but every once in awhile, they say something that makes me go................hmmmmmmm, and that's a good thing.

 

[Magic9]

Homophobes think gay people make a choice to be gay. I can say at one point (high school), I was probably homophobic. One discussion with a gay guy changed that. He asked "What age did you decide to like women?" I told him I never decided. Just always was. He said same for him. It was like a light bulb going off. I think homophobes are either insecure in their sexuality or believe that a choice was made.

^^^All personal opinion.

By the way, that site is hilarious. No offense to anyone,(some of my best friends are religious) but religious people tend to irk the shit out of me.

 

[djonkoman]

I like gay jokes and I may seem homophobic sometimes(same with racism, I like racist jokes), but actually I'm not homophobic at all, I also was really surprised when I frst found out that gay marriage isn't the same as hetero marriage(as a kid I was always told marriage is something you do when you love eachother so I always assumed gay marriage was exactly the same as hetero marriage but just with 2 guys/women)
I think also one pf the reasons I never found it weirdt that some people were gay was that at every point of my life I knew some people that were gay(friends of my grandmother, highschoolteachers, that were really open about it, and friends)
so I'm always surprised how people can take offense to another person's sexual preferences

luckily gay marriage is legal here, I still can't grasp that it is still illegal in so much countries
we talk so much about love, equality, freedom, freedom of speach but still we can't let 2 guys or gals that love eachother marry?

 

[wilf789]

And the other really strange thing about all that is that the more you know, the more you realize how much you don't know, so it seems to me that the only way out of that "ignorance=fear=anger" scenario is to be in a constant learning mode and the only way to do that is to keep your mind open to new ideas and be willing to change your mindset regardless how long you've had it and make that change, if one desires, not based upon fear or anger, but rather based upon knowledge gained from both sides of any argument or debate............which is the reason that this liberal left wing Democrate watches fucking Fox News. Most of the time, I want to put my fist through the TV, but every once in awhile, they say something that makes me go................hmmmmmmm, and that's a good thing.

Completely agree mate.

Watching the "other side's" point of view is just as important, if not more so, than researching your own. Only through understanding those who don't agree with you is there ever going to be a chance of reaching a happy and effective compromise.

To quote a few verses of a George M. Cohan song:

"Though today may be a day of smiles, tomorrows still in doubt
And, what brings me joy, may bring you care and woe.
Were born to die, but dont know why or what its all about
And the more we try to learn, the less we know.

Lifes a very funny proposition, you can bet,
And no ones ever solved the problem properly, as yet;
Young for a day, then old and gray,
Like the rose that buds and blooms, and fades and falls away,

Losing health, to gain our wealth, as through this dream we tour;
Evrything a guess and nothings absolutely sure.
Battles exciting, and fates were fighting, until the curtain falls;
Lifes a very funny proposition, after all."

-
Life's funny - so enjoy it whether you're straight, gay, slightly twisty, bent as a banana or celibate as a priest.

 

[frogbmth]

I don't give a monkeys if people are homophobic, it only bothers me if I let it and it doesn't. The only thing I have an issue with is people who get drunk and go out to batter gay people, waiting outside gay bars. Those people have serious issues if they go to the extent of wanting to injur or kill people just because they find their sexual preference distasteful. I friend of mine got stabbed by a complete stranger when he walked out of a gay bar, he was 19 and had never had sex with anybody, boy or girl in his life.

On the whole religious people are more homophobic and they hate it when I ask if their god is flawed because they created me this way. People rarely have much more reasoning than either 'it is against god' or 'it isn't natural' - well I have news for them, quite a few animal species have homo individuals too! I tend to turn it all around and say "I don't mind straight people, I even have a few friends who are straight and they seem perfectly normal as long as you don't think about what they do in the bedroom"

I dislike plenty of gay people, particularly the ones who are real camp and put on an act and a voice in an attemt to be the centre of attention amongst a harem of adoring fag hags. But I don't hate them, they just annoy me. I dislike plenty of straight people too, for various reasons. Beer swilling manpigs who think it's ok to treat women bad and don't bother to shower or brush their teeth! But I would never go out and stab somebody because of their lifestyle, disability, race etc etc - that's just mental.

 

[VWFringe]

crap, thought i'd found the real thing here, but it's a joke site also

How To Spot A Masturbator

Masturbation is a serious issue facing families today but most parents are just too embarrassed to talk about it with their teens. Heed Colossians 3:5: Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. If the sins of lust, covetousness, immoral thoughts, and pornography are forsaken and overcome, teen masturbation is a small offense that can be dealt with in the privacy of your own home. But when this self-indulgent practice becomes an addiction, it poses genuine health and spiritual risks, and also threatens workplace safety and the overall productivity of our economy.

#@$%#$ i can't stop laughing now

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EDIT: wtf, no one's commented on my vaporist title, isn't Zippy a good fit - looking like he's gonna say something in his defense but not sure if it would make any difference? i think it's hella funny, give myself the giggles everytime i think about it