Life advice

[caseball2051]

This is one of the few forums that I have literally no affiliations with outside of this forum. I dont know anytone here personally. I am reallly in the need of some life advice. I know we have an older croud here. I am hoping that I am able to gather some good advice here.

Heres hte deal. I went to high school with this girl. We were real good friends. We shared a locker, talked all day (text), and talked on the computer at night. We shared everything. Then I started moving away to college and shit and was with my gf and we began to realize we missed each other. At that point my gf had broken up with me. I invited my friend up numerous times and she always declined. 0/50 was her average. She neve ronce came up. But I stil think about her constantly and she says the feeling is mutual. She cried tonight when we discussed all this. even thought shes a women, im inclined to believe her feelings are genuime.

Spring 09 comes, and I start dating this awesome girl. She understands taht I am in college, I have bills, and That I do not have alot of money so she pays for things without giving me shit, she spotted me money to go go a crusie (that i paid back), she treats me like a king and makes me damn happy. The problem is that I still think about this girl that I nearly dated in high school. Often, really often actually. Its not fair to my current gf that I think about other chicks, but who knows if ill ever be this happy again you know? my gf is like a goddess, she is really teh shit. But I really care for this other chick, and idont know why, cant explain why, and dont even wanna admit it. but i do. Its not fair to me either to just try and ignor the fact hat I might be happy with this other girl, ya know?

I am really at a loss right now. I am only 22. but i feel like I am a severe crossraods. even though I know im not. Im still really young. I am just really hurtin right now for some advice. Anything is appreciated. Sorry If I rambled, I am a little drunk, and alot vaped. I hope that I got the general idea across though.

Any thoughts? Its funny, were learning about quarter life crises right now in my psychology class last week . LOL

 

[vapirtoo]

Goddamn human nature! We always want and pine for that which we can't have.
Your high school sweetheart is just good friend that you are obsessing over.
Move on and embrace your new and supportive partner. As the old song goes,
" If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with.
And the song says love not screw.

 

[Elluzion]

^I slightly disagree.

I have always been the one to take a risk and take a chance. Okay so you are with a goddess right now, but in the end, you aren't going to stop thinking about this other girl and "what could have happened." If I were you, I would explore your high school girl and see what happens, take a risk. In the end, you'll know. You lose a goddess, you find another one.. Unless if you know for a fact the goddess is "the one." That is a different story.

I hear stories like this all the time, but from older people. "I should have dated her," blah blah. Don't let life pass you by. Honestly. Don't leave questions unanswered. What is the worst thing that could happen? It doesn't work out and you realize that you don't want to be together and that settles that.

Do it!

 

[lwien]

....even thought shes a women, im inclined to believe her feelings are genuime.

Even though, eh?

 

[bcleez]

The grass is always greener on the other side man. When you have something good stick with it. That is what a true relationship is about. It should not be all about an infatuation with the past girl... It seems the girl you have is a keeper. She not only shows you love but is there in all facets of the relationship.

I would say that like you said you are at a crossroads... you really aren't. I think getting older is tough even at 22, you realize you are a REAL ADULT and you still feel young... It is a tough stage of life... you could both be trying to grasp at a past that doesn't exist anymore.

That being said you are still young enough to fuck your life up and then learn from it. There will always be temptation through out life man.

 

[rotax]

Live in the now, the present. Experience it fully w/ your current gf.

The past is the past, put it out of your mind. Dwelling can often be harmful.

You can always 2nd guess something. You shouldn't. Go on *knowing* you made the right decision. The first choice is the right choice.


But hey, that's just the way I've begun to think, it may not be for everyone.
Ultimately, YOU must decide, yourself, whats best for YOU.

 

[Beezleb]

Your only 22? I doubt these people are in your life not all that farther down the road.

My best advice. Be honest and straight forward with yourself and enjoy your life without extra stresses and once you make a choice, I recommend on focusing on that choice or you might end up with none.

You want what you want. No one ever said that was healthy nor wise hehe. Good luck.

 

[fidget]

Keep her in a glass case to break in emergency.

 

[GreenLeaf]

You're 22 so I'm guessing you don't want to settle down with the current GF now? Or with anyone at all?

I didn't start properly dating people or having relationships with people until I was 22.

Unless you know for sure that the other woman is not interested in having a relationship with you at all, then go for it.

You might or might not wind up in a relationship with her but at least you tried and found out.

It sounds like you want a relationship with her. You won't know if she wants a relationship with you unless you try and like Elluzion said you may wind up always wondering what would have happened if you'd tried to have a relationship with her.

 

[bcleez]

Want and Need are 2 different things.

There are plenty of fish in the sea... even though it is lame to say it is true. Don't stay local.

 

[SSS]

life is full of shit that could have been. sounds like the girl you're with now is the real deal and the chick from high school had her shot.

 

[AGBeer]

Dude, you hit the nail right on the head - you are young.

I had a similar situation and I have been married for over 10 years.

(Thank you Facebook) - I ended up re-locating 'Neo' (the One) and was in contact with her for a while. It was just like back in the old days and my heart yearned for her once again (honestly it never stopped)

However, I had to do the right thing and let her go. As much as it sucks, I have obligations and a family now that I committed to some time ago. It made me sad TBH, but it would make me even sadder to give up everything that I worked so damed hard for to make this marriage last as long as it has