Joke thread
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Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
I became ill while staying at a small hotel in Madrid. When I called the front desk and asked if they had any Tylenol or Ibuprofen, they said no need, they would send the house doctor to my room. He came up, did a brief exam and gave me some meds that fixed me right up.
When I checked out in the morning I mentioned to the clerk that it seemed surprising for such a small hotel to have it's own doctor.
He said "Of course. No one expects the Spanish inn physician."
When I checked out in the morning I mentioned to the clerk that it seemed surprising for such a small hotel to have it's own doctor.
He said "Of course. No one expects the Spanish inn physician."
His_Highness
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
What kind of doctor is Dr. Pepper? A FIZZician 
Don't get up...I'll show myself out .....
Don't get up...I'll show myself out .....
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
George Bush, Barack Obama and Donald Trump are going for a interview with God.
God asks Bush, "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers, "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
God is impressed by Bush and tells him, "Great , come sit on the chair on my right"
Next, God asks Obama, "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers, "I believe in the power of democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc."
God is really impressed by Obama and tells him, "Well done , come sit on the chair on my left.
Finally, God asks Trump, "What do you believe in?"
Trump answers, "I believe you're sitting on my chair."
God asks Bush, "What do you believe in?"
Bush answers, "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"
God is impressed by Bush and tells him, "Great , come sit on the chair on my right"
Next, God asks Obama, "What do you believe in?"
Obama answers, "I believe in the power of democracy, helping the poor, world peace, etc."
God is really impressed by Obama and tells him, "Well done , come sit on the chair on my left.
Finally, God asks Trump, "What do you believe in?"
Trump answers, "I believe you're sitting on my chair."
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
Three friends are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia.
The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.
The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it:
"Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please."
His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a teapot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.
After a good night's rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.
The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.
The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.
The receptionist responds:
"Well, comrade major did quite like your tea joke."
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
His_Highness
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
"Dad, will you be able to get me a car?" Asked the boy, having just passed his driving test.
"I suppose a car would be in order if you can raise your grades from C's to B's, you study your Bible, and cut your hair." Replied the father.
After contemplating for many hours, the boy decided it was a good and fair compromise. Six weeks later, the father is astonished. His son was excelling in school, he studied his Bible every day, but his hair was still long and shaggy. "I am very impressed with you" said the father "you are passing all of your classes, and you read the Bible every day. But why wont you cut your hair?"
"After reading the Bible, I have noticed something." Said the boy "Moses, Samson, and Absalom all had long hair. There is even evidence that Jesus may have had long hair!"
The father replied back "Did you also notice how they had to walk everywhere too?"
"I suppose a car would be in order if you can raise your grades from C's to B's, you study your Bible, and cut your hair." Replied the father.
After contemplating for many hours, the boy decided it was a good and fair compromise. Six weeks later, the father is astonished. His son was excelling in school, he studied his Bible every day, but his hair was still long and shaggy. "I am very impressed with you" said the father "you are passing all of your classes, and you read the Bible every day. But why wont you cut your hair?"
"After reading the Bible, I have noticed something." Said the boy "Moses, Samson, and Absalom all had long hair. There is even evidence that Jesus may have had long hair!"
The father replied back "Did you also notice how they had to walk everywhere too?"
