I've been inspired! And it's been a long time..... So how about a DDave Rap? (
@SSVUN~YAH , yeah, this may be a challenge! Don't think I've forgotten brother!)
DISCLAIMER: No offense to the mega-dosers!
"Stoners Just Don't Understand"
You know stoners are the same no matter time nor place
They don't understand "medicinal" so they're gonna make mistakes
So to you, all the MMJ Patients all across the land
There's no need to argue, stoners just don't understand
I remember one week my mom took me weed shopping
It was me, my brother, my mom, oh, my pop, my little sister and someone in our car we didn't really know.
A family outing, I suppose?
Off to the Weed Market, slowly we drove
MY mom started bugging with all the freaky strains she chose
I didn't say nothing at first
I just turned up my nose
She said, "What's wrong? This bud cost $2! Who cares about strain, so long as it hollers?"
I said, "Mom, this strain you chose is a middie with a really odd smell!"
The next half hour was the same old hell
My mother buying me strains from any random jar
And then she lost her mind and left the ultimate scar
I asked her for Platinum Herojuana and she bought me Marinol instead!
I said, "Mom, what are you doing, you're ruining my rep"
She said, "You're only sixteen, you don't even have a 420 Card yet"
I said, "Mom, let's put these strains back, oh pretty please"
She said "no, you toke to get stoned, not to get symptom relief"
I said, "This isn't a Private Reserve, come on Mom, I'm not a stoner
Mom, please put back the Mexican BrickWeed Brady Bunch flower!
But if you don't want to, I'll try to live with that but
You gotta put back the 300mg edible, I'm not looking for effects like that.
She wasn't even moved - everything stayed the same
Inevitably my first vaping session went and came
I thought I could get over, I tried to play sick
But my mom said, "No, no way, uh-uh, hit that stanky shit!"
There was nothing I could do, I tried to relax
I started hallucinating, saw ancient artifacts
And when I walked downstairs for dinner, it was just as I thought
My family were cracking up laughing at the strains Mom bought
And those who weren't laughing still had a ball
Because they were pointing and whispering
As I stumbled down the hall
I finally got to the table and told my Mom how my vaping session went
She said, "If it's too much for you, then you just ain't a man,
For the next 5 hours I tried to explain to my Mom, (even used pantomime)
That I was gonna have to go through this about 2000 more times
You see she bought ounces of any old weed she could claim.
When all I needed was little Herijuana for the pain.
A bit Fire OG for the nausea
Some Afgoo for the same.
A little indica before bedtime, yeah that treats me just right.
Wake and bake a nice hybrid and the day's out of sight.
A gram at a go, it's just not for me.
Need to remain in a state of Function-al-ity...
No matter how I try to explain this to people all across the land
I've found there's no need to argue
Stoners just don't understand