Help Me Reclaim My Life...PLEASE.

[vapirtoo]

yeah partner. adult behavior means adult responsibility. Do your thing on the
down low ( the LB would be prime in this situation ) , get your shit together
and head out into the real world. Always leave in a respectful manner just in
case you have to move back in for a while. :/ .

 

[misanthrope]

This is addressing the parents of Darkrom. I know you are only reading the words of some weirdo on the internet but I beg you to consider - look what the pharmacuetical industry has done to people over the years. Look at all they get wrong. I've been on the antidepressants, in the name of treating depression and it's a very hard road of crazy side effects and numbing emptiness.

Medical marijuana would not be here if it was not meant to be used. Please allow your son/daughter the freedom to see if this treatment works. I have personally witnessed people get worse and worse on pharmacueticals. I know in the US it is standard procedure to throw money at a doctor to solve any problem, the doctor will gladly prescribe many different chemicals but it is not always in the patient's best interests. In a lot of countries it is highly irregular for someone as young as twenty one to be on a selection of different psychotropic drugs.

If a safe, natural herb works - why not try the safe natural herb BEFORE the man-made chemicals?

The legal/moral arguments against MJ are irrelevant when it comes to health.

Good Luck and God Bless

 

[darkrom]

Thanks for all the positive comments.

I know there's nothing anyone could DO for me and I didn't expect that, I just wanted to talk and hopefully get some much needed sympathy from someone who understands the herb.

Things with the family are already pretty bad and always have been. As for the buying an apartment...It is my number one goal in life right now, but sadly it will not be possible until I pay my car off which I've done a good amount of. I just was hoping someone went through something similar and had some tips. I don't wanna make a "boo life sucks" thread and that's not at all what I was trying to do.

Lets just see where things go from here.

Oh and max... I am fairly certain (but correct me if I'm wrong!) that a desktop vape usually is more effective than a LB. I love the variable temp on the launch box, but somehow I still believe that the PD vape uses even less bud with the same effect? I have no issues at all with the launch box, and the iolite does it's job differently but still pretty well. I just feel like all the sneaking around vaping is adding to my anxiety vs just vaping casually. Granted the sneaking and vaping is better than no vaping at all.

I'm more flabbergasted that we openly talk about the well known fact that I smoke weed. I just think it's sort of ridiculous that they KNOW I'm not going to stop and that they are trying to close a door on a safer option.

It makes me wonder...if I smoked butts would they prevent me from getting an e-cig? I mean I know they just don't get it and have been fed propaganda for so long, but I wish they would just see the health benefits and take that as a step in the right direction.

 

[darkrom]

This is addressing the parents of Darkrom. I know you are only reading the words of some weirdo on the internet but I beg you to consider - look what the pharmacuetical industry has done to people over the years. Look at all they get wrong. I've been on the antidepressants, in the name of treating depression and it's a very hard road of crazy side effects and numbing emptiness.

Medical marijuana would not be here if it was not meant to be used. Please allow your son/daughter the freedom to see if this treatment works. I have personally witnessed people get worse and worse on pharmacueticals. I know in the US it is standard procedure to throw money at a doctor to solve any problem, the doctor will gladly prescribe many different chemicals but it is not always in the patient's best interests. In a lot of countries it is highly irregular for someone as young as twenty one to be on a selection of different psychotropic drugs.

If a safe, natural herb works - why not try the safe natural herb BEFORE the man-made chemicals?

The legal/moral arguments against MJ are irrelevant when it comes to health.

Good Luck and God Bless

I'm printing this out and leaving it on the fridge today Thank you and this is the kind of stuff I was looking for. I can hunt down facts all day and my mom simply will not care. She honestly is more likely to listen to "a weirdo on the internet" than me which is really sad I know.

 

[max]

Oh and max... I am fairly certain (but correct me if I'm wrong!) that a desktop vape usually is more effective than a LB. I love the variable temp on the launch box, but somehow I still believe that the PD vape uses even less bud with the same effect?

I'll grant that a vape with a knob or display that you can set is easier to use, and therefore more effective, but any vape with a variable temp, including the LB, can be as effective as any other, if used properly. The PD uses less for the same reason as the iolite-they both have a a fixed temp and you don't have to worry about using the bowl up prematurely due to a higher temp. The log vapes also encourage efficiency in a psychological manner. After a certain number of bowls have been loaded and vaped, whether it's one or ten, you just don't feel like loading another-you feel fine without another, at least for a time. You'll tend to use more with a bigger bowl, even the iolite, which holds a lot more than a log vape bowl. But for effect, you have to consider that a fixed temp vape may not vaporize some of the compounds that may benefit you. Some sedative and analgesic compounds only release at higher temps.

Good luck with the fridge note. Hope your Mom pays attention. I know what you mean about moms sometimes not giving you as much credit as a stranger.

 

[stickstones]

Get the LaunchBox. You're going to get one someday anyhow, so might as well be now while it helps you the most. You're using it will help with the anxiety about using it in secret. And max is right about effectiveness being key. I've got eight different vapes in my house and use the LB as much as any other right now because I, like you, need a stealthy vape.

I'm a parent, and here is what I think:

1 -- If you are paying rent, then go ahead and vape your dope. If you are getting a free ride, then it is on to Plan B.
2 -- Plan B is...vape your dope and hide it and be fine with it. I hide it from my kids. I don't want to, but it is not appropriate at their ages for me to give full disclosure. I can't wait for that day, but it is not today. When the appropriate age and maturity is there, then right on...but not before then. I vape and feel fine about it, even while hiding it. Your mom may come around some day, but unitl then you have a responsibility to yourself. What if she never comes around? Are you going to be miserable forever? I say vape it and hide it while trying to convince. You're an adult...take charge and let the chips fall where they may.

I'm rootin' for ya!

 

[Plotinus]

Folks in this thread who pointed out that he needs to get his own place are correct.

That said, if his mom has a problem with his use of marijuana medicinally, she's going to continue to have a problem with it no matter where he lives. And it's not unreasonable to want to give her a "come to Jesus" moment to restore some health to such an important relationship.

I have two recommendations. The first is to make use of the Marijuana Policy Project's online library. Their section on medical marijuana is here: http://www.mpp.org/library/medical-marijuana-library.html
This is all the hard science you could ask for, including clinical studies, frequently asked questions, legal issues surrounding medical marijuana, etc.

Second, I recommend you purchase a paperback book called "Marijuana is Safer - So Why Are We Driving People to Drink?"(http://www.amazon.com/Marijuana-Safer-Driving-People-Drink/dp/1603581448/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1280925303&sr=8-1) by Steve Fox, Paul Armentano, and Mason Tvert (state campaign director of MPP, deputy director of NORML, and director of Sensible Colorado, respectively.) The book is a quick and easy read, and is the most powerful and succinct case I know of for the end of prejudice against marijuana use and users. I doubt you could get mom to read it right away, but perhaps down the line, as she opens up her mind a bit (and she will, I bet, if you keep at it), she'll be more amenable.

Good luck!

 

[herbgirl]

Get the LaunchBox. You're going to get one someday anyhow, so might as well be now while it helps you the most. You're using it will help with the anxiety about using it in secret. And max is right about effectiveness being key. I've got eight different vapes in my house and use the LB as much as any other right now because I, like you, need a stealthy vape.

I'm a parent, and here is what I think:

1 -- If you are paying rent, then go ahead and vape your dope. If you are getting a free ride, then it is on to Plan B.
2 -- Plan B is...vape your dope and hide it and be fine with it. I hide it from my kids. I don't want to, but it is not appropriate at their ages for me to give full disclosure. I can't wait for that day, but it is not today. When the appropriate age and maturity is there, then right on...but not before then. I vape and feel fine about it, even while hiding it. Your mom may come around some day, but unitl then you have a responsibility to yourself. What if she never comes around? Are you going to be miserable forever? I say vape it and hide it while trying to convince. You're an adult...take charge and let the chips fall where they may.

I'm rootin' for ya!

Yeah, that.
I'm a Mom and i would never want to see my boys (or anybody) go through what I did on pharmaceutical after pharmaceutical. I hide it from my kids because they are not old enough to understand yet. When i feel that they can handle it maturely, the discussion will happen. funny how i had to hide it from my (supportive, but not nosy) parents and now i have to hide it from my kids. positively criminal.

Unfortunately in order for you to treat your condition properly, you do need to hide it if your parents don't approve of your methods. Only YOU know what helps your depression.
You have a very sticky situation here. I see that you do not want to deceive or disobey your parents, but it does not appear that you feel that you have any other viable options.

as Bart Simpson once said "You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't"

I'm rooting for you too, i hope you have some sort of resolution soon. It's so hard to be depressed, much more so when you feel guilty about taking your medicine.

This is addressing the parents of Darkrom. I know you are only reading the words of some weirdo on the internet but I beg you to consider - look what the pharmacuetical industry has done to people over the years. Look at all they get wrong. I've been on the antidepressants, in the name of treating depression and it's a very hard road of crazy side effects and numbing emptiness.

Medical marijuana would not be here if it was not meant to be used. Please allow your son/daughter the freedom to see if this treatment works. I have personally witnessed people get worse and worse on pharmacueticals. I know in the US it is standard procedure to throw money at a doctor to solve any problem, the doctor will gladly prescribe many different chemicals but it is not always in the patient's best interests. In a lot of countries it is highly irregular for someone as young as twenty one to be on a selection of different psychotropic drugs.

If a safe, natural herb works - why not try the safe natural herb BEFORE the man-made chemicals?

The legal/moral arguments against MJ are irrelevant when it comes to health.

Good Luck and God Bless

Wow, mis, very well put. Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[misanthrope]

This is addressing the parents of Darkrom. I know you are only reading the words of some weirdo on the internet but I beg you to consider - look what the pharmacuetical industry has done to people over the years. Look at all they get wrong. I've been on the antidepressants, in the name of treating depression and it's a very hard road of crazy side effects and numbing emptiness.

Medical marijuana would not be here if it was not meant to be used. Please allow your son/daughter the freedom to see if this treatment works. I have personally witnessed people get worse and worse on pharmacueticals. I know in the US it is standard procedure to throw money at a doctor to solve any problem, the doctor will gladly prescribe many different chemicals but it is not always in the patient's best interests. In a lot of countries it is highly irregular for someone as young as twenty one to be on a selection of different psychotropic drugs.

If a safe, natural herb works - why not try the safe natural herb BEFORE the man-made chemicals?

The legal/moral arguments against MJ are irrelevant when it comes to health.

Good Luck and God Bless

I'm printing this out and leaving it on the fridge today Thank you and this is the kind of stuff I was looking for. I can hunt down facts all day and my mom simply will not care. She honestly is more likely to listen to "a weirdo on the internet" than me which is really sad I know.

Darkrom, I am glad I had the words you were looking for though I fear they may not make a significant difference with your folks.

Be assured that you are already doing the right thing by vaping your green instead of smoking it. It took me eight years of smoking before I discovered vaporizing was healthier and just as good - in the UK combining tobacco with weed is the most common way of smoking it so I shudder to think about the damage I did over that time.

When it comes to your vaping, I wouldn't feel too bad about being secretive. When I lived with my Dad, if he'd have ever found evidence of weed my jaw would probably have been broken and all my posessions would have been out on the front lawn, probably on fire. In many ways it's good that at least you can discuss it with your folks a little bit. Sometimes, by being secretive you are protecting others from info they can't/won't/don't want to handle. Most people would never tell a parent anything about their sex life for example - no need to feel guilty though!!

When you have moved out and live away from home I guarantee your relationship with your parents will improve a whole lot. Even though I live in my own house now, I don't discuss MJ with my parents because it would worry them un-necessarily as they would not understand.

In short, if nothing else works, I'd keep it on the sly (or downlow as you say in the US) for now and get a nice big vape as a moving out present to yourself.

Good luck!!

PS So far the IO has worked pretty well for me, I have used a fair few bigger, fancier vapes both here and in Holland and some of them do not work as well as the IO despite all the claims. Some of them match the IO or marginally beat it - but they are 3 - 4 times the price and need to be fiddled about with to get it right. Purchase with caution...

 

[11eleven11]

You should consider looking into cognitive behavior therapy. It's great that MJ helps, but I honestly don't think you should have to depend on any type of substance to feel normal and happy. Your thoughts influence your behaviors and symptoms - if you can change these things then you can minimize your anxiety.

 

[misanthrope]

You should consider looking into cognitive behavior therapy. It's great that MJ helps, but I honestly don't think you should have to depend on any type of substance to feel normal and happy. Your thoughts influence your behaviors and symptoms - if you can change these things then you can minimize your anxiety.

This is a very good point. Be wary of blocking out serious feelings with substances, I can tell you from personal experience it doesn't work in the long run.

 

[bluntfaced]

You should consider looking into cognitive behavior therapy. It's great that MJ helps, but I honestly don't think you should have to depend on any type of substance to feel normal and happy. Your thoughts influence your behaviors and symptoms - if you can change these things then you can minimize your anxiety.

word, you don't want to be dependent on any substance at such a young age, I'm not saying cannabis doesn't have place but being able to be happy and completely clear minded is pretty crucial in the long run..

I know people personally who have depression problems and self medicated for 25+ years then realized it was completely wrong. Got into yoga and meditation and became more spiritual and they said it took a couple years to be happy again and would never go back to smoking weed again.

ONly you can know what's right in the end, but sometimes it isn't what you think at first. It's important to get input from all ends of the spectrum.

 

[GreenLeaf]

You should consider looking into cognitive behavior therapy. It's great that MJ helps, but I honestly don't think you should have to depend on any type of substance to feel normal and happy. Your thoughts influence your behaviors and symptoms - if you can change these things then you can minimize your anxiety.

I agree with 11. See an excellent therapist and CBT can help people. Medications can too.

I agree with bluntfaced too it's not good to self medicate with legal drugs like booze or illegal ones like herb.

 

[Morningstar]

I guess that we are quite similar as our age and problems are quite the same... May help you going to a doctor, because from what I've read sounds like your brain is racing for physical reason (namely hyperactivity) if it is this way you may even find a doctor who prescribes it to you (I'm going to try this out) because I don't take medicine, but it's really nasty if you can't even sleep at night because your brain just wouldn't shut up and you would like to jump out of the bed and move (this after working for more than twelve hours in service for example)... So NO I don't think it's a mental problem, but rather physiological
greetings from the Mornigstar

 

[mlo4sho]

honestly? not trying to be rude but you're making your life seem like it's completely pathetic and you can't live with yourself unless you're high but you have a job, car and girlfriend? I understand these aren't the most important things in life but consider the people who are much worse off than you, who can't even leave their house or get a job or talk to a girl because of severe mental conditions. Definitely not trying to pick on you, just to sort of give you some hope. Just try to look on the bright side. I would consider you a success in comparison to some, including myself.

 

[hemp;)goofy8cheerio]

Are Psychiatrists Betraying
Their Patients?" Psychology Today question as you read these articles and letters by Loren R. Mosher, M.D., former Chief of the Center for Studies of Schizophrenia, National Institutes of Mental Health:

Soteria and Other Alternatives ... Article in The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease. Shows that 85-90% of "severely mentally ill" -- acute as well as chronic -- persons can be treated in humane non-hospital settings at least as effectively and more economically than in psychiatric wards.

"I Want No Part of It Anymore" Feature article in Psychology Today. Throws light on the unholy alliance between psychiatry and Big Pharma that results in unnecessary, dangerous, destructive drugging of millions.
Read about soteria project in book mad in america; theres a vid on google & loren mosher has lots of info on his site moshersoteria.com

 

[darkrom]

Thanks for all the comments everyone. As for the note I found it in the trash. And yes I am paying rent. I am only paying $200 a month right now but they are trying to raise that as well.

I am doing better at the current time and I have come to accept that there is nothing I can do to convince her. As for my dad it really doesn't matter if he thinks it's alright or not...she runs the house.

I am down to under 9 grand I owe on the car. I have had a launch box for a long time, I just didn't like hiding it since that creates it's own anxiety, but that's just how it has to be.

I am POSITIVE my life is not that bad, it just feels bad. That's the downfall of anxiety and depression. I realize my life is good and I'm not so much complaining about my life as I am complaining about things not feeling good when they should.

The attitude I've been taking lately seems to help more than others. Now I just think "ok I shouldn't have bought a NEW car then, but once it's paid off I'll have a reliable car and no car payments left". I am pretty sure I can stick it out and just do what I need to do to get by. I really just know that as soon as I can afford to get out of the house it'll almost be like FINALLY starting a life I can truly enjoy and be satisfied with. I really wanted to have some kind of positive relationship with my parents, but it just isn't going to happen now. I'm guessing when I no longer have to see them other than for visits we will probably get along much better.

I've been smoking for more than half of my life and I'm not going to stop period. Well...now I vape only except on "special occasions" when I still enjoy the bong or a pipe. I have learned to accept that I will need to hide it until I have my own place. I really appreciate all the advice given. I do realize I may have come across as whining about something, but in reality it is most likely just me not able to explain it correctly. Yes things with my parents suck, but overall my life is good and I am not complaining about it. I just wish I didn't have to think about it to realize my life is good, I wish it felt good too. It's just hard not having a place that I can relax and feel at home. I think that combined with the lack of friends to talk to and just normal daily frustrations are really worsening the depression part of things.


Thanks to everyone who has commented at all. Sorry if I seemed annoying or whiny. I am incredibly thankful to have a place to just talk to other people. I hope to see you all in the chat which I have been using more frequently lately.

 

[max]

I really wanted to have some kind of positive relationship with my parents, but it just isn't going to happen now. I'm guessing when I no longer have to see them other than for visits we will probably get along much better.

It may change things for the better when you're more able to deal with them on an adult basis. Sometimes surviving the parental 'raising process' is just that-survival. Some have a lot worse to survive than you do.

I just wish I didn't have to think about it to realize my life is good, I wish it felt good too. It's just hard not having a place that I can relax and feel at home. I think that combined with the lack of friends to talk to and just normal daily frustrations are really worsening the depression part of things.

I had a hard time at your age too. I was a 'day student' at college and felt isolated. And I wasn't outgoing enough to be agressive in making friends. Keep a positive attitude and things will get better for you down the road. Maybe try to find some kind of charitable organization where you feel comfortable contributing some spare time to help others. I've found that if you give without expectation of a return, you'll get something positive out of it, even if it's just the satisfaction of having helped someone who needs it.

 

[darkrom]

Max that's a good idea. Once I heal up my arm and get my financial issues at least more stable then I may do just that!

 

[bluntfaced]

Get passionate my brotha!!

About anything!!

For me it's skiing and food. Figure out what yours is, it's never too soon and start being proactive, shit's gonna get better.

Cars, jobs, material goods, none of that leads to satisfaction.

 

[herbgirl]

Get passionate my brotha!!

About anything!!

For me it's skiing and food. Figure out what yours is, it's never too soon and start being proactive, shit's gonna get better.

Cars, jobs, material goods, none of that leads to satisfaction.

^Yup, that. ^


For me it's my herbalism/aromatherapy and my role in my community's civic organization. Both things really allow me to give to others and feel positive about myself at the same time.

Even something small, like giving blood or cleaning up trash in a park is a start. karma dude.

 

[bluntfaced]

Yeah you know the part about knowing you have a good life because you have a car, job and girlfreind but not FEELING like you have a good life really sticks out. It sounds like you are basing what a "good life" is on what society says a good life is. You know in your heart that this is not true though. You can have all the cars, women and money in the world and it won't necessarily make you happy.

Giving back to the community, helping the environment, thinking (R)evolutionarily, expanding your mind and spirituality.

Doing what we love to do for the good of the world - this is what makes us happy.

 

[Salty]

Darkrom, I feel for ya brother. Have you tried exercising? Working up a sweat release endorphins which will make ya feel good. Take a nice vape hit after a workout and you will feel ten times higher INHO. But exercise in general is a good way to start feeling better about yourself. Good luck man.