Have you ever been chased by a massive animal?
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hossthehermit
Look away, I'm hideous
Had a fat drunk chick chase me home one time .........
Baron23
Well-Known Member
Did you let her catch you?
Buzzbomb Almighty
Well-Known Member
Hereford bull, when I was about 7 or 8, and geese, same farm, around the same age. The geese aren't massive, but they're motivated. Ralph the bull would normally let us ride him during the day, but I think I spooked him by cutting through his corral in the evening.
Geese suck. I saw a pack of them swimming in v formation all turn around and head for me squeaking.
BabyFacedFinster
Anything worth doing, is worth overdoing.
You don't want to fuck with an angry rooster. It's not the pecking. They have large spurs on their legs and if they manage to puncture you with those things, they will fuck you up. (like hitting a major artery)
While snorkeling in the bahamas I was followed for quite a while by a barracuda that was very interested in me. I got to shore as fast as my fat ass could swim. You should see the front teeth on those fuckers.
hossthehermit
Look away, I'm hideous
el sargantano
Well-Known Member
I usually go running trough mountain paths 2 - 3 times a week at evening and find lots of boars.
In the hills surrounding the city I live in, these animals are quite civilized & used to human contact, so no trouble so far. Everything is fine as long as you don't disturb the cubs, 'cuz parents are close & keeping their eyes on them...
But when going deep into the country, these boars just know humans haunting-related and you can expect full hostility and not a warm welcome.
I enjoy crossing them by the way, whispering 'Babe, where are you, Babe?' but the idea of being chased by an angry furry wild big pig around 80 kgs. after being running for 8 kms stresses me sometimes when it's dark and I'm alone at the forest.
Tip: animals with front legs longer than rear ones (boars, bulls, etc.) can run faster UPside than DOWNside of the path. That's the way you want to leave as fast as you can run
In the hills surrounding the city I live in, these animals are quite civilized & used to human contact, so no trouble so far. Everything is fine as long as you don't disturb the cubs, 'cuz parents are close & keeping their eyes on them...
But when going deep into the country, these boars just know humans haunting-related and you can expect full hostility and not a warm welcome.
I enjoy crossing them by the way, whispering 'Babe, where are you, Babe?' but the idea of being chased by an angry furry wild big pig around 80 kgs. after being running for 8 kms stresses me sometimes when it's dark and I'm alone at the forest.
Tip: animals with front legs longer than rear ones (boars, bulls, etc.) can run faster UPside than DOWNside of the path. That's the way you want to leave as fast as you can run
Polarbearboy
Tokin' Away Since 1968
Well, at my home in northern Canada, where I live for five or six months and ski and snowshoe alone, I worry a lot about polar bears, which can run faster than a human. The region where my home is--northern tip of Newfoundland--gets a few bears almost every late winter/early spring--and its been increasing. I started carrying a pocket bear banger, an explosive device that's supposed to frighten them away. But my wildlife officer buddy says they don't really work and that I should get a special license enabling an American to have a gun during bear season.
Now true story: My phone started ringing near mid-night, and I wondered who had died. I dragged myself out of bed and answered it. It was one of my neighbors, a nurse who works the second shift at the regional hospital. On her way home she had seen a big polar bear on the road into our little town. She said she called the RCMP(police) and the Wildlife Division and that she and her husband were sitting at the kitchen table when they thought of me. They knew I went out walking, snowshoeing or XC skiing in the barren hills every morning. They suggested that I stay in tomorrow morning. Well wouldn't you know it: The next morning I'm sitting and drinking my coffee, when the polar bear walks right past my window, crosses the channel in front of my house out to a big island, where it lay down and went to sleep. I called the wildlife guys and they were at my house in ten minutes. If the polar bear headed north out on to the sea ice, they would let it go. If it turned toward land, they would have to trap it and fly it north. After its nap, it quite intelligently set off north across the ice.
Here's a picture I shot of that bear--out my bathroom window!
Now true story: My phone started ringing near mid-night, and I wondered who had died. I dragged myself out of bed and answered it. It was one of my neighbors, a nurse who works the second shift at the regional hospital. On her way home she had seen a big polar bear on the road into our little town. She said she called the RCMP(police) and the Wildlife Division and that she and her husband were sitting at the kitchen table when they thought of me. They knew I went out walking, snowshoeing or XC skiing in the barren hills every morning. They suggested that I stay in tomorrow morning. Well wouldn't you know it: The next morning I'm sitting and drinking my coffee, when the polar bear walks right past my window, crosses the channel in front of my house out to a big island, where it lay down and went to sleep. I called the wildlife guys and they were at my house in ten minutes. If the polar bear headed north out on to the sea ice, they would let it go. If it turned toward land, they would have to trap it and fly it north. After its nap, it quite intelligently set off north across the ice.
Here's a picture I shot of that bear--out my bathroom window!
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howie105
Well-Known Member
Most of my getting chased stories are because the chaser thought I was a threat to a young one, an invader of territory or some other social transgression on my part. Aside from some barbwire cuts and electric fence jolts it was mostly about getting out of the way. The real threat and stories are about soulless evil turkeys. 
Ramahs
Fucking Combustion (mostly) Since February 2017
Yes, cow-tipping was a thing when I was a young-and-dumb adolescent...so I've had to run and jump a few fences to avoid large animals chasing us. I was also casually involved in dog and cock fighting back when I was too young and dumb to realize how terrible and immoral that was, and I've had a few close calls with some crazy dogs back then as well (not the dog's fault).
ginolicious
Well-Known Member
Does my ex count?
strech
Well-Known Member
I was a young lad clearing trees from some land my father had just bought. My brother was running the portable mill while I was dropping trees. I am just about to get started on my first cut when my brother walks by. He takes the maul and slaps a tree with it. While unknowing to me right above me in this same tree was a large lizard. It then jumped off the tree and landed right on my back. Naturally I began wildly throwing my arms around trying to get this lizard off my back. I managed to get my shirt off and began to curse the soul of my brother. That was some 25 years ago and he still brings up the time a lizard jumped out of a tree and attacked me.
The size of the lizard may have not been massive but his courage to ride on the wild mans back was huge!
The size of the lizard may have not been massive but his courage to ride on the wild mans back was huge!
virtualpurple
Well-Known Member
I was briefly pursued by a moose on my motorcycle as a teenager.
about two years later when I was a senior in high school I was bluff charged by a moose while my friend and I were carrying an empty keg through the woods. That was a scarier experience for me at the time.
about two years later when I was a senior in high school I was bluff charged by a moose while my friend and I were carrying an empty keg through the woods. That was a scarier experience for me at the time.
shredder
Well-Known Member
I've had a black bear start to climb a tree I was in. I had a bow and arrows but was hunting deer.
I yelled and waved my arms around to scare it. It took a long look at me squinting it's eyes. Then reversed it's course and ambled on.
I probably could have shot it to protect myself, but it more surprised than anything. At the time though it got my heart thumping pretty good, lol.
Also had moose blocking a trail while backpacking on Isle Royal. I just backed off making a lot of noise and eventually the moose wandered off.
Had black bears sniffing my tent backpacking in the porkypine mountains.
Turns out the DNR was releasing problem bears in a popular backpacking area. Yup, brilliant, lol.
The bears fought each other trying to get food bags off a bear pole on that trip as well. The bear poles are a pole stuck in the ground and hooks at the top and another pole to use to position your food bag. The bears tried to shake the poles to get bags to fall.
Bears there learned if they charged backpackers, they'd drop their packs and run. So rangers gave out info and tips when you got a permit.
As long as I'm at it, I got high, on that trip knowing I wouldn't be drug tested in weeks. A friend gave me a couple joints. On my first break I lit one up, smoked a little. Then realized I didn't know what way to go, lol. I was next to a stream, and eventually remembered I was walking toward Lake Superior, lol.
I yelled and waved my arms around to scare it. It took a long look at me squinting it's eyes. Then reversed it's course and ambled on.
I probably could have shot it to protect myself, but it more surprised than anything. At the time though it got my heart thumping pretty good, lol.
Also had moose blocking a trail while backpacking on Isle Royal. I just backed off making a lot of noise and eventually the moose wandered off.
Had black bears sniffing my tent backpacking in the porkypine mountains.
Turns out the DNR was releasing problem bears in a popular backpacking area. Yup, brilliant, lol.
The bears fought each other trying to get food bags off a bear pole on that trip as well. The bear poles are a pole stuck in the ground and hooks at the top and another pole to use to position your food bag. The bears tried to shake the poles to get bags to fall.
Bears there learned if they charged backpackers, they'd drop their packs and run. So rangers gave out info and tips when you got a permit.
As long as I'm at it, I got high, on that trip knowing I wouldn't be drug tested in weeks. A friend gave me a couple joints. On my first break I lit one up, smoked a little. Then realized I didn't know what way to go, lol. I was next to a stream, and eventually remembered I was walking toward Lake Superior, lol.
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virtualpurple
Well-Known Member
FlyingLow
Team NO SLEEP!
I've had a few black bear encounters... The best was in Itasca as a kid, probably 11-12 years old. I woke up to everyone banging canoe paddles against trees, but it was no use. A cub climbed a tree, knocked our food down and baby and momma bear ate 3 days worth of our food on Night 1. Ate canned peaches and apple juice concentrate for the remainder of the trip, and have not been able to ingest either since.
A week later, we received a series of bear warnings for anyone camping in the park.
A week later, we received a series of bear warnings for anyone camping in the park.
Planck
believes in Dog
Dang who knew moose could drive motorcycles.
Did you leave the key in the cycle?
Only if verified by aliens.
Was it driving your motorcycle?
virtualpurple
Well-Known Member
Dang who knew moose could drive motorcycles.
Did you leave the key in the cycle?
Lol. Old Honda trail bike, just kick and go!
on a side note, I’ve known a few people over the years who have claimed to have jumped on the back of a moose and rode for a short distance.
I would estimate they were all full of shit except for a gentleman I took care of in the ER. He had his son record from his iPhone when he hopped off his deck to try and straddle. I would say the word “ride” was grossly exaggerated, it was much more of a “immediate ejection from”.
he was a real funny guy though.
Abysmal Vapor
Supersniffer 2000 - robot fart detection device
Once i broke the world record running from one of these,also i was damn lucky there were other people close by that managed to chase it away with some firecrackers..
Baron23
Well-Known Member
Somebody mentioned geese up above....and yes, they are nasty birds and I don't mind hunting them.
But geese ain't doodley-squat compared to a swan.
Now there is a nasty and aggressive bird that benefits from a board across their head..
They particularly like to go after children in the nature preserves here on the Chesapeake
But geese ain't doodley-squat compared to a swan.
Now there is a nasty and aggressive bird that benefits from a board across their head..
They particularly like to go after children in the nature preserves here on the Chesapeake