Ven said:
Am I wrong to feel this way?
Not at all Ven. You can feel however you'd like to feel about Cannabis. In fact, if you decided today that Cannabis IS detrimental to YOUR health, be it metal or physical or social or whatever, if it's true in your particular situation then that's fine--that, in a way, is the reality of that situation. If you experience Cannabis as something that comes "with strings attached", in your case guilt, then that's genuine and it's not to be denied, but rather should be explored and hopefully explained. IMO what makes "opinions and personal experiences" dangerous is when we begin to assume that these are truths that extend beyond our own individual lives and experiences, when we assume whole sale that what works for one will work for all...well then we begin down the slippery slope that leads to close mindedness and totalitarianism. I happen to share this feeling with you, this feeling of guilt, but I know that not everyone feels that way so while it wouldn't be fair to say "smoking Cannabis makes you feel guilty" it certainly is fair to say "smoking Cannabis makes ME feel guilty". I think what I'm trying to say is pretty transparent.
Ven, you have to ask yourself WHY. Cannabis is not tickling your guilt receptors or something, it's not exactly a chemical response that occurs every time you imbibe some Cannabis, is it? In my mind guilt is something much more subtle and complex: it is a psychological issue and as such it has MANY potential causes and many potential methods of expressing itself in ones life. I doubt there is one reason for feelings of guilt, but in my experience it is more like your conscience telling you to wake up and look around you. Perhaps it is time to put down the whip for a few and evaluate the world as it is.
I'll tell you why I feel guilty using Cannabis. I think of all the have-nots, of all the things that are so backwards and crazy in this world, and it makes me realize that most people have to work way, way harder than I just to survive and have a base line existence. I am the type of person that wants to be involved: in my community I see issues and I want to help, in my family there is an abundance of issues and I do all I can to help, and in the world well...we all have eyes, there is clearly many things that could stand some improving, so there too, I wish to help. The main problem I have with Cannabis, and the it is NOT with the plant itself but rather with the particular habits and usage rituals I personally have built up around that plant, but yes the problem I have is that when I'm using, especially daily usage, then I don't get anything else done. I get my absolute necessities, you know I go to work and I make my meals and I get some exercise and I see my family and stuff...but when I'm using Cannabis hard it is so, so, SO easy to be content with absolutely nothing. You can just toke and sit there and zone out a bit and feel a little better about the world and your life....because it makes you feel good and peaceful. This has made me feel incredibly selfish lately. I am sick of the material, commercialized lives we lead and the only way to make change in the world is to reach out to the world and become active in it...and I find too much Cannabis makes me content to just you know...sit in front of my computer and do nothing much at all.
The thing is that these are personal, circumstantial issues. Does Cannabis "cause" guilt? No. One of the major errors we have made in recent history is the judgment that you punish the thing, and not the act. Cannabis isn't out to hurt anyone, Cannabis as an organism is more or less benign, more or less just like any other organism. It is what people do with that organism that causes trouble. Yet people can do bad things to themselves by breathing to much air too quickly, or not breathing enough air, or by drinking too much water or by eating too much...all things we NEED to do to survive but which could potentially be fatal activities in the proper context and dosage. There's an old addage and I have no idea who said it or exactly how it goes but the gist is something along the lines of "the difference between a medicine and a poision is the dosage". It's so true, but there are other things that factor in as well: the habits you've built around Cannabis may be unhealthy, and they may indeed be affecting your life as a whole. Guilt, in my particular circumstance at least, stems from a psychological realization that I am not fulilling my whole potential when I'm using Cannabis heavily. So, while I still feel Cannabis itself is benign it can be used in such a way as to bring destruction and unhappiness into peoples lives. It's all about context, and perhaps your guilt is simply your subconcious telling you that it is time to reevaluate your particular context.
I hope this helps bro, and I hope the message was loud and clear: there's no reason to feel guilty if you enjoy and partake of Cannabis, the guilt is simply from spending too much time, money, energy, etc. on something at the expense of the rest of the things in your life. Take sex as another example: there's nothing wrong with sex and in fact it's quite healthy, enjoyable and it serves a very important purpose, BUT it's amazingly easy to begin obsessing about it an let it take over a whole portion of your life (especially when you're under attack by hormones). This is just as unhealthy, and one can become obsessed addicted to anything... One of the major high points of life (IMO) is that there are ENDLESS amounts of things to do and see and create and discover, billions of people to meet and other organisms to interact with, place to see and just a boundless amount of possibilities...and so the REAL shame is when one spends so much of their precious time going through the same motions, time and again...who knows how long you really have on this planet and if you'll ever be back? I'm not saying there is anything wrong with using Cannabis, all I'm saying is that if ANYTHING you do, be it substance or hobby or whatever, if anything you do begins become so ritualistic that it loses its novelty and enjoyment, why continue doing it? There is a huge world of experiences out there to be had, and Cannabis isn't going anywhere as far as I can see. Evaluate your mind, and you may well be surprised what sentiments you find floating around in there.
I will always love the herb, and always defend its beneficial properties and its right to exist as a living organism, but I will also always love life more than any single experience IN life.
. My family isn't supportive, but they are tolerant, and alot of my friends smoke weed so it's messed that I'm questioning myself like this..
, yes you are believing the media hype and to a degree it is true......smoking is bad 
...VAPING the sacred tree otoh is very very good! 
. and dont forget that guilt didnt exist til it was invented by the church to keep us all from thinkin fer ourselves.. my advice? enjoy your herbal pleasures- give up guilt not green! after all you prolly breathe more shit in walkin to the store once than you do vapin the whole day away! peace, may your days be sunny and your skies full o cloudss
