I have had luck with wetting the outside of the stem and scrunching the grip a bit to get some of the water under the edge, between it and the stem, then "working" it a little to get the water to loosen the grip.
However …
I now clean my stems at my desk, in very short order, using ethanol, but without soaking the whole stem or removing the grip.
Here's how (these instructions are for an OG E-Nano standard stem with removable SS screen):
•
brush out and blow out used material from stem (I sue a stiff-bristle, rather small, Magic-Flight brush: fits and works beautifully);
•
pop screen from stem and brush off (pop screen using a chopstick, for example, pushed through the stem);
• [optional]
place empty stem on E-Nano to heat it up (this helps loosen reclaim);
•
tear a Kleenex in half and fold/roll/scrunch it up (I fold and roll in a very specific way—I can illustrate if desired);
•
wet one end of Kleenex roll with ethanol (wet about half the roll; I use a dropper for efficiency and accuracy);
•
insert roll into stem, wet-end first (twisting slightly may help, but leave the rear end "flared" and protruding just a bit, if possible);
•
push roll through stem with chopstick (go slowly; it may squeak a bit; just before it pops out, bend it around to wipe rim of stem);
•
re-insert screen into stem and ready to go! (use the chopstick to place the screen)
I've used this little ritual for several years now, and it's become second nature. I can clean a screen and stem quite well this way in about 60 seconds, if pressed (I've timed myself on several occasions after making such wild claims on-line). To be fair, I usually have a few Kleenexes (Kleenices??) pre-torn and folded, ready to roll.
The wet end of the roll really cleans quite well, and the dry end dries off the remaining ethanol (the little flare at the rear end facilitates this). The exact dimensions aren't crucial, but my rolls are about one and a half inches long, maybe a touch less. The roll should fit quite tightly (hence the possible squeak), but this helps the cleaning be thorough. I have ordered cotton rolls from Amazon intended for nose bleeds: they work OK, but are a little less tight. (The little wads the dentist puts in your mouth are about the right size, but often have a plastic mesh these days.)
Let me know if you want detailed instructions on my fold-and-roll technique (very OCD, in the casual/non-clinical sense; no offense intended).
I also clean the screens more thoroughly, but less often, by dropping them in a small vial with ethanol and sea salt, shaking and soaking. (It helps to have extra screens, so you can get back to flavor right away, while the dirty ones soak
.)
This technique only has ethanol touching the inside of the stem, not the outside or the grip (or even the chopstick, since pushing from the dry end). You can always rinse the whole stem afterwards, grip included, in water in the sink, if the outside of the stem or grip get dirty, or if you worry about residual ethanol. (And perhaps that would be best if you use iso-propyl.)
One last thing: I don't really use a chopstick, but rather a nice piece of cherry dowel (cut, sanded, and bomb-ass buttered) since it looks nicer.
You can see it in this pic, next to a stem, the MF brush, and a little pick&tamp tool I made from the same dowel:
