oh my I have no idea where to start.
Im pretty sure being born was embarrassing.
Any birth that ends with 'what the fuck is that?' I guess is pretty similar feeling to having yr builder peel off some dry wall and say 'uh oh what the fuck is that?'
At this point you just know shit be gone wrong & you need professional help from then on.
There has been the countless times I have shit myself in public. I also shit on my late moms dog when I meant to fart on him whilst wearing only a towel. (not that long ago either)
The dog was not happy. (even after the warm scented bath)
I once accidentally smacked my girlfriends Mom in the face with my semi erect cock. She was sitting, I was standing after feeling up her daughter on the lounge. Someone called me, I spun round in response & before you know it my girlfriends Mom has a black eye and is missing 3 teeth. The relationship was doomed from that point. Yet her Mom still texts me all these years later?
At an all you can eat & DRINK restaurant, I drank like a demon & ate nothing.
After 3 hours of drinking I stood up and projectile vomited all thru the restaurant as I ran away.
The family enjoying their lunch paused mid bite & the utter look of horror on their faces is imprinted upon my mind forever.
all of those things were a bit awkward.
Several of those incidents have been thoroughly documented in various posts over the years.
Then there was the 'episode' with a tranny when I was about 23 or so.
Um that was awkward............ but then I just closed my eyes and imagined it was my mom and it was pretty hot from then on.
The night my Grandfather passed away I had been at a christmas function and I was as drunk as hell. After spending an hour or so consoling my grandmother, aunts & mother my cab arrived to take me home.
I stood up and then announced to all and sundry that 'I was off, like grandma's undies on grandads birthday!'
Umm that was awkward too.
thank God most of them are dead now & hopefully they have stopped talking about it.
I often think back on these moments, my face flushes with shame & my heart grows heavy.
Then a smile creeps onto my face & I say........
fuck em if they cant take a joke.