Drug tests...

[Vaked420]

Haven't really seen any posts on drug tests on this forum, but I'm sure it's an issue we've all had to deal with at some point or another. I'm currently in the process of getting a job that is going to drug test me(friend worked at the company previously) and I just wondered what you all do for drug tests. Ive only had one test before this I had to pass, and I didn't know I had to take it until 4 days before so I used dilution, not trusting synthetic especially since it was a lab test. This is the method I used...

http://marijuana.com/community/threads/dilution-tips-tricks-and-guidelines-from-n2.155503/

I'm planning on using this method again as scientifically it seems to be pretty damn effective since you can basically dilute your levels to a good 10x lower than they would be without dilution. I also have a pretty fast metabolism and keep my tolerance pretty low so I have a fairly low level of thc to begin with so I don't really have much stress taking a drug test 3 or 4 days after stopping if I wasn't using too much before but would like 5 -7 days ideally.

So basically what do you guys do to pass tests? Also does anyone know how long metabolites stick around? It seems that any smoking up to 2 weeks to a month before the test is what's going to be in your urine, albeit at different concentrations depending on how long it was consumed before the test and your personal body and the amount. Also does anyone know what laws it takes to make drug testing for Marijuana illegal? I live in Washington and it seems that all it would take is for the federal government to write a law that allows states to truly individually set their Marijuana laws. In that case if weed were truly legal at all levels in Washington then it should be illegal to drug test for it right?

 

[al bundy]

Ive always heard about a month to get clean for heavy user
And if your more fat than muscle the fat holds the thc.
May take longer
And any company can give a drug test no matter what's legal, usually it's a pre employment but there's also random testing just depends on the job.

 

[KeVo23]

As a Union member who gets randomed tested frequently I have found that the only full proof way is to use someone else's (clean of course) urine or I have also had good luck with synthetic urine.

Good luck!

Put it in a tube or container ive used a empty travel johnson and johnson baby soap container with a hand warmer taped to it in your underwear( I use boxer briefs to keep in in place) and you should be good to go, I've done it a hundred times!

 

[HellsWindStaff]

I wrote a small novel about this very thing:

http://fuckcombustion.com/threads/synthetix5-for-urine-test.20302/#post-904926

I'm in a similar boat as KeVo, I highly recommend a leg strap though in general it was just easier and much more comfortable but his method works for sure!

@al bundy that is usually a good baseline, but it is important to remember that everybody is different. My friend is 140-155. Smaller/average sized guy. Relatively muscular but not a gym buff. He stopped and just wanted to naturally clean himself out for employment, he was still testing positive 45 days in. Heavy user for years and he did nothing to clean himself out other than abstaining. Do believe he became clean between 45-60 but I'd have to ask.

 

[HellsWindStaff]

I think the best option to pass a piss test is to drink a large amount of water until you are continuously pissing clear. Study up to as close to your test as possible. When you take the piss test first pee into the urinal first to clear your piss of and sediments that could give you away. Midway and towards the very end of your piss then fill the bottle.

This is somewhat a false notion. You likely won't test positive, but you won't test negative either. Inconclusive. False negative/positive. Because of dilution. I have had a handful of friends not fail tests because of this, but are forced to take another down the line. I do think they could of been fired depending on the job, just maybe depends?

Maybe can pass using your method if they aren't lab testing it, but even just a basic urine collector I would think to be on the lookout for what is essentially water.

BUT, your method is not without validity. This should pass a lab test, but its a risk I wouldn't want to take TBH. It definitely should get you past just a normal piss test that isn't being tested for weight and % of certain metabolites.

So what you do, is a few days before the test, you start pounding down creatine. It takes a few days to break down into creatinine and that is what they test for in your pisses balance. So if you have a few days to load up, and pound a bunch of b multicomplexes for color and other nutrients, you can dilute your piss, but since you loaded up and have so much excess creatinine and vitamins in your body, your piss will essentially balance out properly. Like the ratio of everything is still equal, know what I mean? Can't be certain the validity, but I do know of some people who passed lab tests this way, and in theory it makes sense. Since your piss looks normal this way, I'd assume you could pass just a standard dippy test no problem.

 

[HellsWindStaff]

I was not even alive then my friend I appreciate you sharing your experiences!

Something maybe you also heard of or had experience with, is Potable Aqua? I'm totally unfamiliar. I know a few people older than me, but not that old (30s) and while I don't know the science or the validity, I had heard from more than one so maybe something too it? That you take one with a two liter or two and you'll be clean and good. Who knows? I wouldn't recommend this but it was something I heard and was also something that I found interesting because it was strictly military people recommending...guess cause they have it on hand easily

 

[Vaked420]

This is all so fucked...I can't believe we have to deal with this shit for vaping a few bowls when everyone else can get shitfaced drunk whenever they please...

Anyways I've heard it's illegal to test for legal activities while off the job, so in theory it would be illegal to drugtest with urine then, but I've also heard that some hospitals and stuff test for cigarettes so how all that works...

 

[FlyingLow]

I do not have to go through this, but for all those that do, I fully endorse HellsWind.
He taught me how to stretch my nutsack out like a batwing to make a basket, then I take my extraordinarily long pubic hair and pack it in like insulation. PERFECT for a false bladder

 

[subway13029]

I fourth hellswind method..i have passed 100s of drug test using someone else urine..even if i needed drugs in my system for doc appts and such..always foolproof..i have seen people fail and go to jail while relying on the excessive water method and now they tell if its dilluted and such.

 

[UH60FLT]

I plan on getting a couple bladders from quick fix (direct from their site to prevent knock offs). I've head nothing but good things about their 6.1 version and they also sell a leg strap or a navel strap in case I'm asked to drop my pants. I'm going to be working for a contractor and so far there is zero word of drug testing in the on boarding forms or verbally so I might not even need it but I'm getting two bladders just in case and to practice with.

Has anyone have experience with quick fix?

 

[hackslasher]

I've always used the using someone's clean pee for my test. Probably done about 7 times no issues. Just fill up a small hand sanitizer bottle or two, after completely washing clean, and use hand warms and a themometer from the store to get it to the right temp. From there just testing temp till get to place then stick in crotch and go in. Usually have to wait a little which can be nerve wreaking due to temp, but never has an issue. Usually do some practice at home to get the unscrewing, pouring and timing to help not be suspicious. Never had to pee in front of some (cept for when was juvenile in court, couldn't leave toll peed in front of guard amd have shy bladder. I was there for awhile...) and needless to say this probably wouldn't work in that senerio unless have wizinator maybe. Good luck with your test none the less

Also they can't tell if it's guy or girl pee if like it's just a job test test. Not sure about lab test but just wanted to add cause know that myth went around few years back

 

[Magic9]

If it is the strip test, the cutoff is 50ng/ml. They're cheap, easy, and the most widely used. They are fairly easy to beat with dilution. Pick some up from PuffItUp to test yourself at home.

If the test is over the 50ng/ml. cutoff, they send it in for a GC/MS test. The GC/MS is very precise. And expensive. That is why they don't just use them for all tests.

To be safe, skip dilution. Use substitution. Get some clean or synthetic urine. I prefer syn. for the shelf life (lol) and the temperature strip bottle.

Before the test, microwave it a few times for 30 seconds or so. That gets rid of the plastic smell imparted by the bottle.

Use self adhesive bandage wrapping (aka horse tape). Wrap it several times around your thigh. 4-5 layers, fairly tight. This will keep the bottle secure and within temp. Boxers will hide it if you have to take your pants off for some reason.

The day of the test, microwave (or hot water) until temp. is around 100. Place bottle into the wrap tight against the skin. It should stay within temp. range (at least 90 degrees when you hand the cup over) for hours. Keep some hand warmers nearby, but I've never needed them.

Once inside, you can pull the bottle out just like you would if you were actually pissing. If you can, shake it to add some bubbles. Also take cap off instead of squirting it out to avoid weird noises.

Practice at home as often as you can so you feel confident.

The first time is nerve wracking, but it is very simple to pull off.

ETA: I once got a job that I was unsure if they tested. I wore the bottle all day for a week. Was always within temp range whenever I checked. They never did test me.

 

[mephisto]

So I am starting a new job, always failed the many different dilution methods. I recommend visiting Urineluck. The Synthetix5 turned out to be a counterfeit of the Quick Fix product. You cannot fail a test if the sample is clean. Substitution is the only way to be certain. I have a buddy who uses a battery powered Urinator every day just in case of a random. My Whizzinator just arrived along w/ 2 bottles of quick fix plus.
I wear compression shorts over my real stuff, then tie on the Whizzinator, then throw a pair of boxers over that. Lift up shirt, unzip, withdraw, deliver sample, zip up. If any testing agent needs to see me without drawers on, they will get a harassment claim to contend with. I will play the testing game right up until it invades my personal privacy, in other words, YA DON"T GET TO SEE THE GEAR!!!!! Fucking Draconian MJ laws. You can blast some coke and it clears in 3 days. Show some love for Mother Nature and well fuck, you obviously don't deserve to work.

And just to be a dick, I always make sure to dribble urine down the side of the sample cup. It gives me a real sense of pride when the collection agent gets their hands wet! FUCKERS!

 

[UH60FLT]

So I just purchased 2 3oz quick fix bladders and the stash leg strap. One will be used for testing but is it necessary to have the heat pack in the stash pack if it's already in my inner thigh or would that make the temp too high? Thoughts?

 

[mephisto]

I would test the heat that the bladder will reach with it attached to your body. There should be a temp strip that will show you how warm you can get the sample with body heat alone. If in doubt, use the heat pad. You can fail a test that is clean, but does not meet the temp threshold. Good Luck.

 

[UH60FLT]

I would test the heat that the bladder will reach with it attached to your body. There should be a temp strip that will show you how warm you can get the sample with body heat alone. If in doubt, use the heat pad. You can fail a test that is clean, but does not meet the temp threshold. Good Luck.

Good point. I plan on running through some scenarios where it involves me wearing it for long periods of time to see. Is there a 'sweet spot' temp that a tech normally looks for? Even though there is a 10 degree threshold, I'd rather error on the side of caution if I can avoid it by keeping it at a temp that wont catch eyebrows.

 

[FlyingLow]

You don't need the leg strap if you have large nut sack to make a basket out of.
#realmenmakebaskets
#sacklikeabatwing

 

[Skyscraper]

You don't need the leg strap if you have large nut sack to make a basket out of.
#realmenmakebaskets
#sacklikeabatwing

Look for the dude at 1:35..

 

[Vaked420]

Idk about you guys but I've always thought about substitution, but then quickly realized 1.who the fuck would I ask to pee in a cup for 2. I wouldn't really want to deal with a friend's pee 3. All my friends that even would give me their pee also smoke weed lol. I guess my girlfriend maybe, but I've also heard the test of girl vs. boy which now that I think about it sounds pretty BS lol

 

[Stevenski]

I just did the drug HR training at work & they can now random test anyone. It is good as they have a very clearly defined process for actioning employee drug use. What I cannot seem to find out is their testing threshold for cannabis if there is one? There are defined thresholds for alcohol, cocaine, opiates & amphetamines but they do not indicate anything or even mention cannabis. I think I will corner a friend in HR & see if they can find out.

Even if I did get tested & failed I would be refusing the counselling offered & rolling the dice. I have used cannabis for the vast majority of the 13 years I have worked for the company but I will leave out the other far more serious assorted substance abuse issues over that period

 

[FlyingLow]

Do you think there will come a day where the anonymity of internet forums disappears, and employors start screening activity via ip addresses?

 

[Stevenski]

Almost certainly that is already the case. I have seen a lot of people seriously impact their career based on silly social media posts etc. I have had perfect candidates denied a job because they had highly offensive material in their social media.

I'm posting this from my office but not on the company network. I never use the company devices or network for personal use of any kind & for the corporation to find my online profiles they would have to seek that info out.

 

[virtualpurple]

Applogies if it's against the rules to bump an older thread.

I've been on a break since getting urged to apply for a civilian job with the military (I'm a Registered Nurse). I am also moving in June/July for school and didn't think for a second that they would choose the guy leaving in 6 months over other applicants but apparently I've got the experience they're after in the ER and their other front runner gave them a bad vibe.

Now that being said, I wasn't smart about it but since finding out I was a candidate (dec 28th) I have abstained. I just received a tentative offer pending a clean UA, background check, etc.

Normally I wouldn't want to deal with the extra hassle but the pay + COLA makes the wage absurdly higher than my current employer, and I will be starting the Distance portion of my NP program in a few days and working nights at this bases ER would have have way more slow-time than my current ER, so I'd be foolish to bow out.

I imagine that I would still be subject to random UAs afterward although a friend that works the same job tells me she's never been tested in her 9 months there aside from her initial screening. She also works nights so I dunno if that makes one less likely to get tested, I'm just not familiar with the military.

It does sound as though I will have access to a clean sample if need be, although at the pace the military has been at with me is any consideratiion then I will probably have until February till they call me in haha, and by then with a little luck I'll be cleaned up on my own. I also have no idea how long ones urine would "keep" for.

I am cautiously interested in some of the other posted methods (quick-fix Urine luck, etc), and is never heard the portable aqua ratabletz before but I'd be interested to hear anyone else's suggestions or if these are still the gold standards. I'm not sure how long someone's clean piss will keep for in the fridge so please feel free to clarify.

Thanks folks.

 

[mephisto]

Well FFS, now the potential employer wants to perform a urine test AND a hair test. As if leaving MJ alone for the past 30 f'kin days was not bad enough. I have self tested the urine side and everything is golden.
Is there any solution to pass a m@t$%&*#@*)ng hair test. I understand the methodology behind the test and I will not be sending my cash to the Aloe Nexxus Testclean bullshit lottery. Can anybody lend valid info to help a brother get a clean hair test? @virtualpurple I hope you are going well with your potential tests.
I will not be shaving my head bald, or stretching my beanbag over my head, please only submit a response if you have actual knowledge on how to keep these fucking Nazi prick bastards from keeping me from doing my trade. 27 years of being the HVAC industry whore only to fall to the Lies and Promises of family owned con artists and start up refrigeration companies who think urine testing is not invasive enough. FUCK ME!
I may end up just working the day shift at my in-laws chicken farms for shit wages. Land of the Free.
Fuck! HELP!

 

[Melting Pot]

Not sure how well this works?

http://www.cleartest.com/products/hair