Dealing with those in your life who hold a negative opinion of cannabis?

[throwawaytre3s]

If Mom is drinking all day there's boredom, possible depression, loneliness and of course plain old alcoholism. These symptoms may require your Mom to strike out at something, anything, and your MJ use might just be an easy target. She may be thinking irrationally that "I'm all alone and it's because you're down there smoking that shit all the time". When what might actually be happening is that her drinking limits her socialization because she can't socialize in way that allows people to be around her. Self imposed exile? Guess what I'm trying to say is....she may be lonely, drunk and angry on a daily basis and not even realize she is causing it herself.

Does she drink to get drunk? If so, what kind of drunk is she? A happy drunk is one thing and a nasty drunk is quite another. People can be around a happy drunk till it gets old but most can't be around a unhappy drunk for even a minute. Does she drink till she passes out?

Just curious @throwawaytre3s .... if you had the time and were willing...would your Mom feel it was OK for you to drink all day with her? If so...that double standard says a great deal about her mental state.

Given the circumstances surrounding why she's staying with me, I can easily see it as a form of escapism, too. She used to struggle with a food addiction, then an exercise one. She's definitely got some alcoholism going on, and things seem pretty bleak from her perspective right now i'm positive. When she was here, I did notice that she had drunkenly tried to do laundry, got detergent all over the dishwasher, and left the cup in the slot for the detergent. She mostly stays in her room while drunk, doing who knows what.

I do feel like in a lot of ways, she's just lashing out because she's unhappy with her own life, which, honestly, is in part her own fault. She's always been abrasive, and hard to get along with. She drives away everyone, and wonders why nobody wants to deal with her anymore. It's sad, really.

 

[His_Highness]

@throwawaytre3s ... Does she smoke cigarettes? Not trying to be funny or anything but if she has an addictive personality maybe she could be convinced to give up two vices for our favorite plant? Maybe a "don't knock it till you've tried it" approach.

@lwien - I'm with ya 100%. Kids need to know they are loved, unconditionally but that there are boundaries and rules. More often than not my kids did the right thing because they loved me and didn't want to disappoint. If I had just used a heavy hand they would have just been looking for a work around.

I used to say "I don't want to embarrass you or give you the impression that your opinions don't count so we're using a three strikes rule. The first two are on you and the third is on me." This meant that I would give them 2 shots at convincing me of something we disagreed about but if I wasn't convinced after the second attempt the final decision/third strike was mine. I was trying to make it clear it was my house, my rules but that I valued their opinions and I wasn't always right. Now it's backfiring on me ..... they are adults and when we disagree they can't wait to hold up the three fingers.

 

[throwawaytre3s]

@throwawaytre3s ... Does she smoke cigarettes? Not trying to be funny or anything but if she has an addictive personality maybe she could be convinced to give up two vices for our favorite plant? Maybe a "don't knock it till you've tried it" approach.

@lwien - I'm with ya 100%. Kids need to know they are loved, unconditionally but that there are boundaries and rules. More often than not my kids did the right thing because they loved me and didn't want to disappoint. If I had just used a heavy hand they would have just been looking for a work around.

I used to say "I don't want to embarrass you or give you the impression that your opinions don't count so we're using a three strikes rule. The first two are on you and the third is on me." This meant that I would give them 2 shots at convincing me of something we disagreed about but if I wasn't convinced after the second attempt the final decision/third strike was mine. I was trying to make it clear it was my house, my rules but that I valued their opinions and I wasn't always right. Now it's backfiring on me ..... they are adults and when we disagree they can't wait to hold up the three fingers.

No, no cigarettes. I don't think I could ever get her to partake, she wouldn't want to. She could really benefit from it though, she has a degenerative bone disease in her neck, and it causes her a lot of pain. Her discs are basically dissolving.

 

[hinglemccringleberry]

I have come to learn that it's not worth the time and effort to convince anti-cannabis people to change their minds. No amount of trying to provide education about the medicinal facts or trying to enlighten them or whatever you want to call it will ever work on people who have spent their lives engrained in the reefer madness mentality. ive learned the hard way its not worth it, its just not worth the energy and stress to engage them on the topic and i would rather just let it be, talk about something else, and keep my use a secret. i actually like the stealth aspect of my usage, its fun. and that was part of why i wanted to stop combusting and get into portable vaping.
furthermore, i do believe there is a dark side to cannabis concerning legalization, abuse, and use by underage kids that none of the proponents want to talk about, its not all unicorns and utopia when it becomes recreationally legalized, especially in the USA where there are so many irresponsible and clueless users who create a bad rep for everyone including the responsible users and the patients.

 

[grokit]

I don't think I could ever get her to partake, she wouldn't want to.
She could really benefit from it though...

Sad. Is she a widow or divorcee, that used to drink with dad? That could explain a lot. She may want to replace a loved one and a drinking partner at the same time, which is impossible and a cry for help.

I hope I'm not being too presumptuous. Best of luck to you both

 

[Buzzbomb Almighty]

I feel for you, but I'm no help at all. Obviously if she wasn't having a hard time she wouldn't be there and probably not drinking, and even though she's being a pain it's probably out of misguided good intentions, (c'mon say it, lo.. lo.. lo.. love). I like the suggestions to bring her downstairs with you to see that you aren't eating babies or smearing excrement around. You only get one mom, go for it.

 

[HighSeasSailor]

Ok, I have no idea what your childhood was like and what kind of household you grew up in

What's that supposed to mean?

I'll be straight with you, I get that you were/are joking, but your opening joke implied that I was raised wrong (and it wasn't even clear that it was a joke in isolation), and this post, which is apparently serious, opens with a line that kinda diagonally implies that maybe I was abused or something despite my own disclaimer (you even quoted the asterisk).

I'm not honestly sure where this is coming from but it's all been at my expense so far, so what's up with that?