Caught vaping by child!

[Zipford]

So my teenager figured out that I've been vaping weed, and parents vaping seems to be one of the last taboos around cannabis. Does anyone have experience with this or suggestions on how to address?

I'm in a legal state and my wife has always known, so on a fundamental level there's no real issue. But if vaping weed every day makes me seem like a "stoner" or "pothead," may not really be ideal, even though by most ordinary metrics I have my shit together. Or maybe this is an opportunity to show that stereotype doesn't really hold water?

Thanks for any advice!

 

[Shit Snacks]

I would approach it like alcohol, say it's fine in moderation at age, and you know what moderation looks like for you, as it is also medicinal but it is not poison at least lol

 

[Abele Rizieri Ferrari]

I'm sorry you came into this conflicting situation, but perhaps you can try and make the best of it. You could explain that humans across the globe have been since like forever medicating themselves and dealing with their psychological issues and so forth by this plant. It's a chance to teach them to critically assess societal moral crypto religion.

 

[Grass Yes]

My kid knows I use cannabis both medically and recreationally. I don't vape around them because of second-hand vapor exposure. I don't think that is really much of an issue but it can get pretty cloudy in my office.

Because I don't vape around them, it did make the conversation more awkward than about alcohol. But we talked about how it was a normal thing that is fine for adults, but not for kids. We talked about how it is not good for growing bodies and developing minds.

I probably am more embarrassed about my compulsive spending on my vape collection than I am about using cannabis.

 

[EarthworldTim]

I've worried about this a little despite my kids not being teenagers yet, still some years to go. I've thought a lot about it because I'm on the tail end of being into craft beer(budget has shifted, I'm sure it's not hard to guess where) and it's nuts to me that I have anxiety about them "catching" me vaping when I drink so freely in front of them, at the pool, at the beach, etc etc. To me it should be the opposite but thanks societal norms. Also I live in the California bay area so they've been around it and smelled it in public on a few occasions at the very least.

A couple of years ago before I had re-entered the vaping world I would get my glass pipe out for a friend when he would visit and one occasion I forgot to take it off the mantle and put it away. They instantly zeroed in on it and started asking questions, got me nervous even though I had a scapegoat because their mom(not together anymore) can take issue with things like this(understandable) and she was always not a big fan of cannabis, mostly the smell, induced headaches. But to my complete surprise one of them says, "Mom has one just like that!" So I laughed and said, "There ya go, adult stuff, you'll learn later." And it was solved... for now.

I probably am more embarrassed about my compulsive spending on my vape collection than I am about using cannabis.

I identify with this and it's been an oh so short time for me compared to most here. Ramping down and figuring out what I like most is happening... slowly. Hoping I can part with at least some of it down the road.

*Edit

Apologies for not giving advice, just wanted to offer my own experience. That being said, in my book you're doing fine and you can't hide things forever, usually. On the scale of things to hide from your kids it's both understandable and minor imo. When I was younger I knew some families where the parents never hid their cannabis use and by high school(no idea how early it started) their kids were joining in and there were no boundaries at all. Those families were completely foreign to me and not how I would ever want to handle it in my household but to each their own.

 

[BabyFacedFinster]

Thanks for any advice!

I'm sorry that this happened to you. It's hard to give advice since we don't really know your situation or your family dynamics. If that happened to me, I guess I would talk about it not being a good thing for teenagers, but like alcohol, moderation is fine for adults. In fact, it does a lot of good for older people which is why some in the medical community embrace its use.

If that doesn't help, just tell them that it's their mother's stuff.

 

[iDRINKBLEACH]

I went through this and was where it was illegal. We explained to my daughter at 8 years that it’s legal in many places. That just because something is illegal it’s not always right, and that’s how laws change for the better over time like it has already in other places. Also told her to not talk about it outside the house she doesn’t think of it as a bad thing or any bad stereotypes. Once she figured out what it was and could detect it she realized all her aunts, uncles, grannies and grandpa use it. Made it much easier normalizing it as it should be even in illegal states.

“One has not only a legal, but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws.”
-MLK

Best of luck to you with this awkward crossroad.

 

[feralcomprehension]

This thread is relevant to my interests.

 

[BabyFacedFinster]

I've told this story before. One time when my kids were younger, I had left my e-nano unit sitting out. When they asked me what it was, I told them it was a special antenna used to pick up faint AM radio signals.
They immediately lost interest.

 

[3dayphunk]

Totally understand this thread and following. I haven't been caught by my kids yet (9 & 12) and wonder how I'd explain too.

 

[cx714]

I take the angle that cannabis has specific developmental effects on on the adolescent brain. It’s not so much that weed is bad or shouldn’t be used— it just shouldn’t be used by adolescents who already have a full plate in the hyperactive neurotransmitter department.

Cannabis and the Developing Adolescent Brain - PubMed

Here, we summarize the most up-to-date knowledge on the neurobiological psychiatric, and daily function effects of the most commonly used cannabinoids, delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) and cannabidiol (CBD). We then review FDA approved medical use of cannabinoid treatments as well as...

pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

[BakedDiogenes]

Hell, I just busted my 16 yr old with two vape cartridges under his bed. He tried to pull the “you use it, so I wanted to try” bit, but as others have mentioned, I compared to alcohol consumption and said that just because we drink too doesn’t mean he can.

I also tried to emphasize that this wasn’t necessarily bad; kids will experiment with sex and drugs regardless of how much we try and deny it in our society. My wife and I have always stressed an open line of communication regarding these two topics. Unfortunately, there are rules for kids and rules for adults, and we as parents have to help them navigate those rules in a way that sets them up for success later.

Don’t give in to the stigmatization of smoking cannabis. Unless your responsibilities are being put second to getting high, there’s nothing to be ashamed about.

 

[tattooed]

I was open and honest about it with my 14 year old. I grow and I brew beer so we have plenty of talks about how to moderate and frank conversations about issues that come from over indulging. I'm glad we approached it this way personally.

 

[feralcomprehension]

Don’t give in to the stigmatization of smoking cannabis. Unless your responsibilities are being put second to getting high, there’s nothing to be ashamed about.

My child entered true adolescence as prohibition was ending here. Decades of stealth and an unwillingness to complexify his already challenging two household life has me keeping secrets still. Not sure how to come out; I'd like to but I'm real hesitant at this point.

 

[GetLeft]

I rebooted my cannabis usage when one child was around 13 and the other 9. One is out of the house now and the other is a junior in hs. As well as I've been able to conceal my usage from them thanks to vaporizing and some tech that allows amazing discretion (e.g. carts which I'm able to use fearlessly these days), my guess is that they both know I use cannabis. They've both come and gone freely all over house their whole lives and have seen my enano due to user carelessness and sometimes my car can have a certain odor of je ne sais quois due to me commuting from one place to another with a device on board. They may or may not approve (or may not have a clue, who knows) but probably would rather not have a conversation with me regarding my usage of cannabis. They both have far greater things to concern themselves with. Like who got whom in a friend group's pollyanna or who's gonna help pay someone's rent next month ...

 

[Zipford]

Thanks for all of the responses! As further detail, there's no denying it. He smelled it on me a few times and then poked around and found a vape of mine. Sent me a picture of it, saying he didn't know I had asthma, followed by a picture of a red-eyed Snoop Dog. Pretty funny, actually.

I use recreationally, after work and dinner. I'm married, have a good job and support my wife and kids. But I use daily, much like people have a glass or two of wine. Frankly, I agree it is healthier than alcohol. It's just hard to escape the myth that if you use every day you're a burnout, even though I am living evidence that isn't true! Ultimately honesty is the best policy in my view.

 

[Shit Snacks]

s further detail, there's no denying it. He smelled it on me a few times and then poked around and found a vape of mine. Sent me a picture of it, saying he didn't know I had asthma, followed by a picture of a red-eyed Snoop Dog. Pretty funny, actually.

Yeah so it sounds like responsible use, even more so vaping instead of smoking, setting a fine example I say! It is certainly a complicated thing though I was able to avoid any possible temptation to use until college though many experience differently growing up whether their parents used or not at least of people I knew growing up (plenty parents in the community who use marijuana that I wish were open enough about it to the extent I could be suggesting them all vapes now lol if only I were open with it to that extent with those sort of people as well)

 

[tattooed]

We should all be about normalizing Just my $.02

 

[Adobewan]

@Zipford Many of us have been there.
Regarding keeping it from them, I did not want my kids to carry the burden of having to lie to teachers or authorities that I use, which they understood upon revelation. I was also generous in sharing study after study regarding its benefits, as well as the questions/concerns regarding adolescent use/brain development, which I encourage you to do.
Both of mine are of age, intelligent, and benefit from using.
Best of luck.