Olympus Mons
Probation Officer
Got any vaping jokes or humorous stories? Here's where we can vape and yuck up a lung!
I can start us off with a little humorous tutorial for noobs on what NOT to buy, as far as equipment goes. (This is what happens when you mix vaping, cannabis, graphics programs, the internet, and too much time on your hands.)
Announcing two new products from QuickBuckzProz!
Behold, the L-Cheap-O Plug-In Vaporizer and the Rippov Electronicless Portable Vapor Pen!
L-Cheap-O plug-in vaporizers and Rippov vapor pens are manufactured from 100% rebranded imported Chinese materials and cheap e-cigarettes, and assembled right here in the US of A in my parents' basement, where I, Jessy Pinkman III, CEO of QuickBuckzProz, Inc. live and work.
The L-Cheap-O plug-in vaporizer features a handcrafted Mexican design and delivers a whopping 110 volts per hit! That works out to almost 220 electron volts/2 hits, our research team tells us! What else but a slightly better soldering pencil or any hair dryer can do that? Why worry about obscure, poorly understood, elitest phenomena like "volts" and "watts" and "hertz" anyway when all that really matters is nuking the hell outta your stash and getting blasted fast?
The L-Cheap-O starter vaporization kit comes with a 110-V electron-based soldering pencil reactor core, galvanized wide-mouth inhalation funnel, 3-foot lamp cord with polarized wall plug, and several ratchet-socket cartridge sizes, including the Big Lug, which can also be used to change lug nuts on flat tires.
The unit shown here is our Gentleman's Ambassador Assassin Class Gangstah Rapper Model 420 Pander Vaporizer, featuring the custom plastic 2-liter-soda-bottle inhalation cover design, and water-cooled mayonaise-jar vapor train with rack and pinion steering. Ice water not included, of course!
Simply plug it in, wait . . . 15 . . . say, 20 minutes most, and the L-Cheap-O will vaporize anything! - fresh plants, moldy hash, Ronson Lighter-Fluid-based hash oils, even its own parts, and human flesh! The white-hot glow tells you L-Cheap-O is hot on the job!
Burn, baby, burn! That's what vaporizing is all about!
All our cartridges come in Standard or Metric sizes and feature our patented quality "ratchet-socket" design, which insures durability and high heat retention - so you can basically vape your whole gram of oil or wax in one quick session whether you like it or not! Poof! It's gone! And so are you!
But wait ... just blew through a gram of Girl Scout Cookie wax and aren't really feeling that high? No problem, got ya covered! Just go buy more! The L-Cheap-O will burn up your stash quickly as your cash!
Need something more portable and stealthy? The Rippov electronicless portable vapor pen sports a sturdy Russian design featuring 3 basic parts:
1. A large square of Reynolds-grade aluminum we call the "hot plate," upon which you dump your oil or concentrate, and can be used in one of two modes, shiny or dull;
2. The time-tested, electronicless "Bic Ignition System" featuring 1-flick performance; and
3. A flexible custom mouthpiece, adjustable to almost any angle, available in a variety of striped colors. (Specify when ordering.)
Unlike most over-complicated "e-vape-pens" on the market today, the Rippov is not electronic. However, we do sell an "Electronic Conversion Kit" that will turn your Rippov into a sleek electronic unit so cool your friends will say, "You are so brave! I've never seen anyone chase such an evil dragon! Those parts must be Chinese!"
Be sure to pick up one of our heavy-duty eco-friendly biodegradable organic dabbers, stealthily disguised as a wooden toothpic, now on sale for only $5 each!
All or some parts are, or may be, covered under our exclusive "You Broke It Ah So/You Bought It Asshole" non-apologetic warranty, good until first use, or maybe not.
Because the demand for these new products is so high, we are presently only able to take cash, bank transfers, cashiers checks, and Western Union via our web site.
(Note: The claims that lead and heavy-metal parts in these products cause resperatory shut down, retardation, and a condition known as "nervous sphincter," have not been evaluated by the FDA and are lies spread by our competitors.)
I can start us off with a little humorous tutorial for noobs on what NOT to buy, as far as equipment goes. (This is what happens when you mix vaping, cannabis, graphics programs, the internet, and too much time on your hands.)
Announcing two new products from QuickBuckzProz!
Behold, the L-Cheap-O Plug-In Vaporizer and the Rippov Electronicless Portable Vapor Pen!
L-Cheap-O plug-in vaporizers and Rippov vapor pens are manufactured from 100% rebranded imported Chinese materials and cheap e-cigarettes, and assembled right here in the US of A in my parents' basement, where I, Jessy Pinkman III, CEO of QuickBuckzProz, Inc. live and work.
The L-Cheap-O plug-in vaporizer features a handcrafted Mexican design and delivers a whopping 110 volts per hit! That works out to almost 220 electron volts/2 hits, our research team tells us! What else but a slightly better soldering pencil or any hair dryer can do that? Why worry about obscure, poorly understood, elitest phenomena like "volts" and "watts" and "hertz" anyway when all that really matters is nuking the hell outta your stash and getting blasted fast?
The L-Cheap-O starter vaporization kit comes with a 110-V electron-based soldering pencil reactor core, galvanized wide-mouth inhalation funnel, 3-foot lamp cord with polarized wall plug, and several ratchet-socket cartridge sizes, including the Big Lug, which can also be used to change lug nuts on flat tires.
The unit shown here is our Gentleman's Ambassador Assassin Class Gangstah Rapper Model 420 Pander Vaporizer, featuring the custom plastic 2-liter-soda-bottle inhalation cover design, and water-cooled mayonaise-jar vapor train with rack and pinion steering. Ice water not included, of course!
Simply plug it in, wait . . . 15 . . . say, 20 minutes most, and the L-Cheap-O will vaporize anything! - fresh plants, moldy hash, Ronson Lighter-Fluid-based hash oils, even its own parts, and human flesh! The white-hot glow tells you L-Cheap-O is hot on the job!
Burn, baby, burn! That's what vaporizing is all about!
All our cartridges come in Standard or Metric sizes and feature our patented quality "ratchet-socket" design, which insures durability and high heat retention - so you can basically vape your whole gram of oil or wax in one quick session whether you like it or not! Poof! It's gone! And so are you!
But wait ... just blew through a gram of Girl Scout Cookie wax and aren't really feeling that high? No problem, got ya covered! Just go buy more! The L-Cheap-O will burn up your stash quickly as your cash!
Need something more portable and stealthy? The Rippov electronicless portable vapor pen sports a sturdy Russian design featuring 3 basic parts:
1. A large square of Reynolds-grade aluminum we call the "hot plate," upon which you dump your oil or concentrate, and can be used in one of two modes, shiny or dull;
2. The time-tested, electronicless "Bic Ignition System" featuring 1-flick performance; and
3. A flexible custom mouthpiece, adjustable to almost any angle, available in a variety of striped colors. (Specify when ordering.)
Unlike most over-complicated "e-vape-pens" on the market today, the Rippov is not electronic. However, we do sell an "Electronic Conversion Kit" that will turn your Rippov into a sleek electronic unit so cool your friends will say, "You are so brave! I've never seen anyone chase such an evil dragon! Those parts must be Chinese!"
Be sure to pick up one of our heavy-duty eco-friendly biodegradable organic dabbers, stealthily disguised as a wooden toothpic, now on sale for only $5 each!
All or some parts are, or may be, covered under our exclusive "You Broke It Ah So/You Bought It Asshole" non-apologetic warranty, good until first use, or maybe not.
Because the demand for these new products is so high, we are presently only able to take cash, bank transfers, cashiers checks, and Western Union via our web site.
(Note: The claims that lead and heavy-metal parts in these products cause resperatory shut down, retardation, and a condition known as "nervous sphincter," have not been evaluated by the FDA and are lies spread by our competitors.)
.. Every word he used LOL.. He was hardly even using normal words to connect those crazy words LOL. 
