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With Christmas around the corner....

Discussion in 'The Vapor Lounge' started by smokum, Dec 7, 2012.

  1. smokum

    smokum I am who I am and your approval isn't needed!

    Messages:
    1,580
    Location:
    Canaduhh
    With Christmas around the corner I'd just like to remind those who used 'real' tree's to please be very careful out there and continue to enjoy further festivities for years to come with their loved ones:

     
    Purpl3_Haz3 and Vicki like this.
  2. Jeppy

    Jeppy JedHI Vaporist

    Messages:
    1,261
    Location:
    NorCal Vapor Garage
    I'm taking down the tree right now. Putting up a fire hydrant instead.
     
    ilikesnacks likes this.
  3. ilikesnacks

    ilikesnacks Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    45
    we just bought our first real tree this year, wishing we hadn't right now though... haha
     
  4. Vicki

    Vicki The Bionic Woman

    Messages:
    5,747
    We can't have a real tree because of the dogs and cats.
     
  5. Tweek

    Tweek Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    6,142
    That's how we end every Christmas...burning the place to the ground :party:
     
    ShipDit and Jeppy like this.
  6. Stu

    Stu Maconheiro Staff Member

    Messages:
    5,647
    Location:
    Southeast of Disorder
    In this Christmas spirit, I wish to share a little poem that I wrote many years ago. I had lost it 4 or 5 computers ago, but a quick search on google showed me that some website called the "joke archive" had it posted.

    Enjoy.

    'Twas the night before Christmas, when all I could hear
    Was my party guests screaming, "We've run out of beer!"
    I laughed for a moment, said, "They're pulling my leg,"
    For I had just tapped a half-barrel keg.

    "No, really, we're out!" someone shrieked out of fright.
    And the crowd grew more restless, surely there would be a fight.
    "Now relax," I said calmly "I've got plenty more brew."
    "I've got Coors in the pantry, and Schlitz in the loo."

    But my pantry was bare, and my fridge empty, too,
    Gone, too was the six-pack I kept in the loo.
    My pulse quickly rose and my heart sank with fear
    For what kind of people could drink that much beer?

    I looked at my guests; some invited, some not.
    And I smelled the unmistakable sweet smell of pot.
    Then I saw two girls giggle with glassy-eyed grins.
    There was no mistaking: It was the Bush Twins.

    They had drank all my beer and smoked all my stash.
    Now I was lamenting my Christmas Eve bash.
    The girls were shot-gunning the last can of Bud,
    When up on the roof I heard a great THUD!

    Then down from the chimney came a jolly fat dude.
    He said, "Ran out of beer? Aw, man that's just rude.
    "Lucky for you, you've been a good boy.
    "So I will provide you with great Christmas joy."

    And out of his sack he proceeded to bring
    cases of beer (Oh, it made my heart sing).
    More Bud and more Coors, even Michelob Light
    More Killian's and Beck's; what a wonderful sight!

    My guests started cheering, the Bush girls did flips.
    Even the secret service were whetting their lips.
    The Kennedy's came by; John Daly did, too.
    The Spirit of Christmas was sure coming through.

    I looked out my window and spotted St. Nick
    Chugging a pitcher, and chugging it quick!
    And I heard him exclaim as he flew fast away,
    "Drink, but don't drive" as he crashed his new sleigh.

    :peace:
     
    Jeppy, t-dub, smokum and 2 others like this.

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