Steele Concept Joke Contest

Steele Concept

Steele Concept

Transformer Tubes
Manufacturer
How's this for timing... FREE Steele Concept Contest! I've been waiting to do a free giveaway and now the timing seems right.

Ill give away one of these first revision models to the person who tells the funniest joke over this weekend.

Simply post your funniest joke and by Monday who ever makes me laugh hardest will be getting a FREE unit shipped to them.
 
Steele Concept

Steele Concept

Transformer Tubes
Manufacturer
Google can be your friend... I didn't say YOU have to be funny, it can be a joke you have heard, found etc.

Good luck!
 
Steele Concept,
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Tamataz

Tamataz

Icelander
How much pot did the techno DJ buy before the rave?

ounce ounce ounce ounce ounce ounce ounce ounce
ounce ounce ounce ounce ounce ounce ounce ounce
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Why did the stoner cross the street?

His dealer lived on the other side.
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What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt?

A pothole!
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What's the difference between politicians and stoners?

Politicians don't inhale...they just suck.
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How do you know when you have smoked enough pot?

Once you misplace your lighter and or weed
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One bong hit, Two bong hits, Three bong hits, Four bong hits, Floor.
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Entrepreneur's Motto: I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
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How many entrepreneurs does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the light bulb, plus 23 accountants to define the new light bulb as a capital investment.
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2 entrepreneurs are chatting, one asks,
So, what made you decide to go into business for yourself?
It was something my last boss said.
Really, what was that?
You’re fired.
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Whats the hardest part of vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair.



I need a bong in my life :D
 
Tamataz,
Steele Concept

Steele Concept

Transformer Tubes
Manufacturer
Lol some good ones there. Moving forward, Please post ONE joke in your post, sorry I didn't specify this before.

Ounce, ounce, ounce, ounce, ounce lol, that's the first one I read so that is your joke. Corny, but funny :).

Keep em coming, I'm off to Jiu Jitsu. With a bunch of 20 and 30 something's I always hear plenty of locker room talk there, hehe.
 
Steele Concept,
B

BigDaddyVapor

@BigDogJunction
Dirty or clean? Gotta know if you're easily offended. And I just used one of my best damn jokes! :lol:

NM. Caught you're last comment.

EDIT:
After years of marriage and her husband always insisting the lights are out during sex, the wife has finally had it.

One night while they're going at it, the wife reaches over quickly and turns on the lights. She's amazed and quite upset to find out he's using a dildo on her!

She screeches, "WHAT THE FUCK!?"

Her husband calmly replies, "I'll explain the dildo, if you explain the kids."
 
mmenzie

mmenzie

My friends call me "Menz"
a man is taking a shower and he realizes he doesn't have any soap. he runs to the store naked and grabs two bars of soap. all of a sudden three nuns walk into the store. the guy is embarrassed so he poses as a soap machine.... first nun walks up, sticks a quarter up his ass and pulls his dick and down falls a bar a soap. the second nun walks up, sticks a quarter up his ass, pulls his dick and down falls another bar of soap. the third nun walks up, sticks a quarter up his ass and pulls his dick, but this time no soap falls. she keeps yanking to try and see why she didn't get a bar of soap, when all of a sudden she screams to the other nuns... "oh look.... it's ivory liquid!!!"
 
SD_haze

SD_haze

Well-Known Member
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side.
He puts the alligator up on the bar and turns to the astonished patrons.

"I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."

The crowd murmurs their approval. The man stands up on the bar, drops his trousers, and places his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closes his mouth as the crowd gasps. After a minute, the man grabs a beer bottle and smacks the alligator hard on the top its head. The gator opens his mouth, and the man removes his genitals, unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and he receives the drinks.

The man stands up again and makes another offer: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try."

A hush falls over the crowd. A moment later, a hand goes up in the back of the bar.
"I'll try," says a small blonde woman, "but you have to promise not to hit me so hard on the head with the beer bottle!"
 
deadc0ffee

deadc0ffee

Inquisitive vaporist
A sweet old lady at my bank asked me if I could help her check her balance. I (being the gentleman that I am) promptly pushed her over.

Edit: have you heard the one about the asexual kid with cancer? It never gets old.
 
B

BigDaddyVapor

@BigDogJunction
Harry answers the telephone and it's an Emergency Room doctor.

The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."

Harry says, "My God! What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
 
Stu

Stu

Maconheiro
Staff member
A famous TV reporter was doing a report on location in Uzbekistan about the local customs of the people of Uzbekistan. During his report he interviewed one of the local town elders and asked him:

"Tell me a story about somthing that has happened in your life that you will never ever forget as long as you live".

The old man laughed, and began to tell the story.

"One day, a long, long time ago I lost my goat on that mountain. As is the local custom, all of the men in the village got together to smoke the magic herb and we went up the mountain to find the goat. When we finally found the goat - as per our custom - we all smoked more of the magic herb and each man, one at a time had sex with the found goat. It was quite a scene."

The reporter was shocked, to say the least. But he pressed on... "I'm very sorry, sir... but I don't think our network can air that story. Perhaps you have another story with a happy ending that you could share with us?"

The old man laughed and said, "Ok, ok.... I have a better story for you that has a happy ending..... One day, a long, long time ago my neighbor lost his wife up on that mountain. As is the local custom, all of the men in the village got together to smoke the magic herb and we went up the mountain to find our neighbor's wife. When we finally found her - as per our custom - we all smoked more of the magic herb and each man, one at a time had sex with her. It was the best time of my life! What a party that was!"

The reporter was taken aback, shocked. He was getting frustrated and finally asked the old man "Let's try a different angle... Maybe you can tell me about somthing extremely sad that has happend to you that you will never forget as long as you live?"

The old man lowered his head, and tears began to swell in his eyes..... he paused momentarily, then said:

"One day, a long, long time ago I got lost on that mountain"
:peace:
 
P

Pcpvapors

Well-Known Member
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman."

The priest sighs. "Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?"

"Yes, Father,' tis I."

"And who might be the woman you were with?"

"I shan't be tellin'you, Father. It would ruin her reputation."

"Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"I cannot say."

"Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?"

"I'll never tell."

"Was it Lisa O'Shanter?"

"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."

"Was it Cathy O'Dell?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Was it Fiona Mallory, then?"

"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."

The priest sighs in frustration. "You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O'Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But, you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now..."

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,

"What'd you get?"

"Five more good leads!" says Tommy.
 
Kaptan

Kaptan

Well-Known Member
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls 911.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
 
Frederick McGuire

Frederick McGuire

Aggressively Loungey
A woman goes to the doctor, complaining of chronic flatulence.
"It's horrible, the only saving grace is that they are silent and completely odorless. As a matter of fact, I've farted no less than 10 times since I entered your office."
The doctor thinks about her condition, then writes her a prescription, and tells her to take 1 pill per day, and to come back in 1 week.

A week later she returns to the doctor, rather upset.
"Doctor, I don't know what to say. I still have chronic flatulence, and while they are still silent, my farts now stink horribly, what's happening?"
The doctor replied
"Well, at least we've fixed your sense of smell..."
 
Steele Concept

Steele Concept

Transformer Tubes
Manufacturer
Hehehe you guys got some good ones. Make sure you all get a joke in, we will be picking the joke champion tomorrow. I'll prolly do it with the aid of a third party as that's fair.

Thanks for participating everyone.
 
Steele Concept,
Midnight Toker

Midnight Toker

That is not a drug, it’s a plant.....
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, “If I’m going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.”​
She removes all her clothing and asks, “Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?”​
A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, “Here, iron this!”.​
 
Midnight Toker

Midnight Toker

That is not a drug, it’s a plant.....
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says “But sir, its just a sperm bank!”, “I don’t care, open it now!!!” he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says “Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!”, she looks at him “BUT, they are sperm samples???” , “DO IT!”. So the nurse sucks it back. “That one there, drink that one as well.”, so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, “See honey – its not that hard.”​
 
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