Discussion in 'The Vapor Lounge' started by Vicki, Oct 10, 2015.
No criticism of online dating, @macbill . If you speak for it, that's good enough for me.
Lots of good advice all around. No problem at the workplace? I would only think if it would be awkward if say things didn't work and later it would cause friction at work. But she sounds nice and would probably keep work and relationships separate enough.
Lots of dancing advice? All true. And there are safe ways to build slowly on being social, in that element and at least you will have energy. For when things go quickly. Is it true that dancers live longer?
There are other ways to allow women to approach you. Like walking a friendly dog. Or if there are clubs/groups where you might meet someone with a similar interest. There is already an interest to share in place.
I haven't practiced much of my own advice. TBO. If you go in any situation giving off the right amount of confidence, they'll sense that. If they are become talkative with you, then being a good listener will be helpful and put you at ease. I have to literally bite into my tongue sometimes, if they are chattie cathy's. and gain from the experience.
He offended a lot of women and and came off superficial and sexist with that vulgar approach, but those few exceptions might have paid off. I kid, I kid. But, We all know that type of person.
Nice that good people are finding each other. I know a few people who ended up getting married in my circle. The Positive is that you can chat with the 'potentials' and find out more with no pressure of dating until it is time. I would conversely, get advice for watching out for people who catfish or feel they need to exaggerate their profile, etc. Just the ordinary caution you would use plus rules of thumb advice.
For a first encounter. I might pick an event or place where I would have a good time by myself. If there is a no show. That way it doesn't weigh on you. You came out to have a good time regardless of outcome. Or at least start there. Just my 2 cents worth of dating advice to add. Good luck out there!
Or cower under your desk when she visits that space. Despite all my advice, That is more in line of what I'd really do. Is she gone yet? Is safe to come out? I kid I kid...
Don't dip the pen in the company ink.
I am arrhythmic. When everyone claps at a song at the concert, I'm just a bit behind because I don't "feel" it so much as try to copy others. Combine that with a youthful fear of girls and a natural shyness, there were no dances for me in high school. Even when I tried, at home, in the dark, behind closed doors, alone; my inconsistent jerks of limbs would have looked to Elaine in wonder at her fluid movement.
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When my wife died, one thing I promised myself I would do is to learn to dance. Just because I couldn't, didn't mean I didn't want to. I knew getting out there would be important, otherwise I would have balled up under a blanket and hid until the pain went away. So, even though I was still freshly hurt and was not looking for anything, I took some community classes.
@Madri-Gal is 100% correct on what to expect.
While I can't really "dance" now, I can move my feet meaningfully to music--WITHOUT COUNTING IN MY HEAD. (Dancing is a lot more fun when you just move rather than count and plan where the next step will take you.) My wife now was a lot like me and had no desire to move to the music in front of others. But, when I stand up at the table and hold out my hand, she takes it and we hit the floor. At first she didn't. When rejected I'd just offer my hand to another and pull them to the floor. I don't know if the ease of me finding a another partner changed her mind, but, I no longer need offer my hand a second time any more.
Then again, that was my thing. What I wanted to be for myself. That doing my thing made me more attractive to women was only a side benefit. Even if it weren't for dancing, women love a person who is interested in something and who works at getting good at it. If I had general advice to a person looking for love is to find a hobby and work it. The harder you work it, the more attractive you will be to the person you will finally end up with.
When I actually left enough grief behind to begin to date, I agree with @macbill. Online dating has been very good to me. Not the swipe left/right thing, which is not what I sought, but the sites where you get to exchange posts for a bit before seeing each other.
Too true. It works even less when that person is screaming it at you and you haven't said a peep all day. Biking, however has helped me calm down from my stressed out co-workers and avoiding unnecessary confrontation. Or sometimes a relaxing trip to the farm ?
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Good news! I figured out the key to not even wanting to look at someone or have anything to do with them whatsoever. I just started picturing a MAGA cap sitting on her desk. There isn't one, but even the thought that anyone could support that is a massive turn-off!
Just IMAGINE where that thumb has been!
Wouldn't work for me....put that hat on Scarlet Johannson, Vanessa Hudgins, Nicki Minaj or J-lo and I'd still trip over my tongue.
@OldNewbie - is it me or is that thumb really, really small
Small? His hands are YUGE!
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