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Nausea: The Monster

Quetzalcoatl

DEADY GUERRERO/DIRT COBAIN/GEORGE KUSH
Kinda just updating this to get things off my chest.

I've mentioned that I had joint pain, although I didn't touch on it in detail.

I've had joint pain all my life. ALL of my life. I'm turning 21 on Sunday and I won't be able to drink more than 2 beers tops. It's okay though, alcohol isn't my favorite by a long shot, although I do appreciate the complex taste of beer and wine :) Anyways, ALL my life. I can't remember a day that I didn't wake up with pain.

My rheumatologist wants me to get a genetic test done for a disease called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. To make your time spent on this post shorter, EDS is a genetic defect that causes the afflicted person's body to produce collagen abnormally. It can range from slightly different to so weak that people with EDS cannot walk because their ankles will dislocate themselves as soon as they try. I am not at this point right now, thank the universe, but I worry that I will get worse. I AM getting worse. Two weeks ago I woke up one morning with shoulder pain so bad that I couldn't even put my shirt on. I cried and cried and took my Vicodin (and promethazine and meloxicam), 2 trenches of Earth OG back to back, applied my lidocaine patch... and not 3 minutes after I took my pills I start heaving. I start crying again, lay down on the floor with my legs propped up on the bed, vaping straight Earth OG kief, doing breathing exercises, etc. Oh, did I mention that it wasn't even 6am yet?

I have an appointment on Monday to see my rheumatologist again about my shoulder. I was supposed to see him again halfway through December... but things don't always turn out the way we want. I'm facing now the realization that I may have Type 3 EDS which is just hypermobility, or Type 4, which is the vascular type. Type 4... is also the one that will kill me if I do end up having it. There's no way around that. Type 4 is my death sentence. The reason we think it may be Type 4, is that one of the most telling signs of it is having serious health issues by 20 years of age, and of those people, over 80% will have life-threatening complications by the age of 40, and don't usually live past 45-48.

Did I mention I was turning 21 in less than two days? I very well may have lived half of my life already.

Here's the best part of it all: any child that I have will have a minimum 50% chance of inheriting this disease. For personal reasons, I don't agree with abortion except in the cases of rape, or where the mother is in danger due to the baby. So, following my personal beliefs, I can't just have a kid and abort it if it does end up with EDS as a fetus. I just can't do that. And I just cannot ever ever imagine putting someone else through the pain I feel, especially not my own flesh and blood. That is something that I just cannot do, ever.

I don't know how to feel. Angry that this happened to me, although no one knew. My mom has joint pain as well but it was ruled as arthritis because she hasn't had two lungs collapse and two wedge resections at 19 years of age. She doesn't have any of the obvious signs of it, she's not tall and skinny with long stick-like arms, she doesn't have pain on the level that I have, she just has localized pain on some of her joints. I give her my Lidocaine patches whenever I see her in pain, and that's the ONLY drug she accepts from me because it doesn't make her feel "high" (she's quite sensitive to medications) and... I don't think I would get in trouble for sharing lidocaine patches... you can't get high off them or anything, it just numbs wherever you apply them. I also feel horribly depressed. Laying in bed knowing that I'll wake up in some short hours with the same pain and depression and nausea that I felt that morning. Every morning, every night, same thing.

I don't know how "okay" what I'm about to say is, but I'll say it anyways and you'll see where I'm going with it in a bit. When I was 13, a few months before turning 14, I tried opiates. Painkillers. Just what I needed... except not really. I got high (that was the point) but even more important than feeling high, I felt... normal. I didn't realize it until an hour after I took them, I got up from my chair and went upstairs to get a glass of water. Halfway walking back down the stairs I realized I felt okay. Everything was okay. The anger and depression and anxiety was gone. And even better? I felt NO pain. That started what ended up being a shitty 6 years of opiate abuse, lots of binging and withdrawing, lots of thinking about how cool it would be if I could get a script for opiates so I could get them legally... I was young, I was stupid, but I was safe. Never overdosed (barring that one Suboxone experience which just had me puking for a good 7 hours straight), always musing about "going legit" so to speak.
 

Quetzalcoatl

DEADY GUERRERO/DIRT COBAIN/GEORGE KUSH
Well... now that I do have a prescription, I hate it. I fucking hate it with a passion. I hate knowing that I have to take pills to feel okay, I hate knowing that I can't NOT rely on them. I just can't do it anymore without them, although now it's not even an addiction, it's just knowing that my body can't take it anymore. I don't fuck up anymore. I don't take more than I'm supposed to in an attempt to get high. I take as little as I can and pair it with a pinch of herb so that I build a tolerance to the opiates slower. The less I can take now, the happier I am. There are the rare days where I wake up in pain that I can manage with weed, but those are rarer than a blue moon. I don't wake up craving, I don't wake up in withdrawal. Some days, I wake up and hit the LB as soon as I open my eyes and forget to even take the pills! I'll be awake for 3 or 4 hours and then realize that my leg or my hands hurt, and then look at my pill tray and realize I didn't even take them, but like I said, blue moons. It's funny how sometimes the thing you want the most, once you get it, disappoints you in ways you never imagined.

So, a few days ago, my mom found one of my nug jugs in my room. Both my parents flipped a TOTAL shit. Although I will admit that I didn't talk to them about it, one of the biggest reasons was because my mom told me to my face something to the tune of "I don't care what science says, I know what's true." My dad was even worse. Anyways, yes I understand the concept of respect and all, and I did respect them. I respected their wishes to not bring anything illegal into the house, I respected the unwritten rule of "out of sight, out of mind" especially in regards to my younger two siblings. I respected their wishes by not even thinking about growing here, not even buying any growing stuff or anything like that. My dad called me a fucking loser, told me to kill myself, and said he would cut me from my car insurance, health insurance, etc. The funniest part of what he said was that he was cutting me off. From health insurance of all things. That's all he could really take me off of, anyways, seeing as how I've paid for 99.9% of the things I own since I was 16. Hell, I work two jobs even in the condition I'm in! I never ask them for money for my bills, to go out, and ESPECIALLY not for my medical which I pay myself. He leaves, my mom is crying her eyes out, telling me how I'm going to move onto harder drugs (...hahaha...) and ruin my life, etc.

I looked at her for a long while, and finally said "What the hell are you so upset about? I haven't had a goddamn anxiety attack in years, I haven't had a real migraine in at least a year. It's helping my depression, I don't think about killing myself anymore. It almost ALWAYS takes away my nausea while not making me fall asleep for 6 hours like I did three days ago. Shit, you were there with me when we went to the rheumatologist last time, you heard the nurse. 131.5 pounds. When have I EVER weighed that much? NEVER! And how do you think I gained the 17 pounds I lost from the tramadol? You and I both know I've never weighed that much in my life, you know damn well how much better I've been getting these last six months since I got my recommendation. I'm walking my dog four to five times a week minimum, last year I limped around half the time! Tell me what's so wrong with that?"

We had a really long 4 hour discussion, and basically what it boiled down to was: she didn't really understand how the whole medical marijuana thing worked here, she didn't know how to shake off the cultural aspect of how "terrible" cannabis is, and how she couldn't see me using it. I explained it to her, from how I went to see an actual doctor for my recommendation, how I took my 4 prescriptions to him and told him I was getting tired of taking all the pills, how we both agreed that I would probably be better off if I could reduce my doses even by just a little bit. I told her how just last year I could have flown to Florida with my medical records and came back with a ziplock bag full of OxyContin legitimately prescribed to me, how I'm going to have to take opiates until I kick the bucket to live a normal life, the depression, anxiety, nausea, constipation (from opiates), appetite, it was all fixed to a degree by vaping even just a tiny bit. Showed her my recommendation, had a heart-to-heart so to speak. 20 minutes after we finished talking she came back downstairs crying and hugged me for a long time. She told me she actually thought about what I said and did some independent research of her own online (I consistently drive the point of researching things for yourself to my family), saw how people with my condition went from taking OxyContin and morphine daily to 1/3 or less of their dose by using MMJ. How their life, much like mine, took a complete 180, how I felt the quality of my life improved, etc. How just because I used medical marijuana didn't make me a thief/liar/scumbag, how I still helped as much as I could around the house, including giving [sober] rides to the younger ones anywhere they needed to be when they couldn't, how I was the one that they asked to help with buying groceries because they're both busy working, etc. I think things are back to normal now with her, she talked to my dad for almost as long as we talked, and now he's acting like nothing happened.

I won a large battle, just in time for my birthday, but unfortunately my pain persists. Every day. I'm still trying, though, because that's all I can do.
 

BigDaddyVapor

@BigDogJunction
Well, I feel for your physical pain. However, I know how much the lifting/cleansing of the talk you had with your mom will be a HUGE benefit. I read your story as a parent and while our situation was different with our son (He just wanted to get @#$%ing stoned out of his mind, while claiming "medical" reasons... I don't go for that, nor the people it was bringing around. His best friend was even on our side).

Reading your's, I just KNEW it was going to turn out. First, a mother's love is unconditional. Second, they've seen you suffer your entire life. When the reality of "hey, he has been getting better" sinks in, the realization of the help will become clear. Though, your dad may continue to be stubborn at times. I'm sure he's still wrestling with the social aspect of it.

Keep that positive attitude and generous nature towards others and you will continue to reap the benefits. Look for them every day, you'll begin to recognize them easier. There will still be an adjustment period, but Hell... my mom got to meet Lev this week and she bought me my first piece of HQ glass, the MiO. 64 years old. Not bad... for seeing the positive benefits it had with her son. Even she tells me to take a tough stand with my wife, when it comes to the MMJ.
 

Quetzalcoatl

DEADY GUERRERO/DIRT COBAIN/GEORGE KUSH
Quick little update... my shoulder pain turned out to be a torn rotator cuff tendon. He said it could have torn from something as big as working two jobs, or as little as getting the milk out of the fridge. In any case, off work for the next two weeks, if it's not improved significantly by then, the next step is a steroid shot. Boo.
 

t-dub

Vapor Sloth
if it's not improved significantly by then, the next step is a steroid shot. Boo.
I get these shots a lot (shoulder, ankle, and knee) rheumatologists love to give them. At your age there is extra concern of cartilage/joint deterioration over the long term as well. Its a cover up not a cure. It becomes a quality of life issue really. If the pain is so bad you can't sleep or put your pants on, well, that motivates you to get it. I don't know how comfortable you are with the steel yet (needles) deeply penetrating your body, slowly, for extended periods of time. Its an acquired taste . . . your doc's level of skill will become evident here quickly, but relief is sure to come, and fairly quickly once done, assuming the drug was properly administered.
 

Quetzalcoatl

DEADY GUERRERO/DIRT COBAIN/GEORGE KUSH
I get these shots a lot (shoulder, ankle, and knee) rheumatologists love to give them. At your age there is extra concern of cartilage/joint deterioration over the long term as well. Its a cover up not a cure. It becomes a quality of life issue really. If the pain is so bad you can't sleep or put your pants on, well, that motivates you to get it. I don't know how comfortable you are with the steel yet (needles) deeply penetrating your body, slowly, for extended periods of time. Its an acquired taste . . . your doc's level of skill will become evident here quickly, but relief is sure to come, and fairly quickly once done, assuming the drug was properly administered.

Yeah, he mentioned that all. He said if I wanted to, we could do the shot right there on the spot, but I guess he picked up on my hesitation because he followed it with "But I realize this may be a big decision to you, if you can manage right now with the Vicodin and lidocaine patches and want to think things over that's totally fine. We can give it a few weeks with no lifting to see if you feel better, there are always risks to this which we can discuss whenever you want, etcetc" As for the needles... well, the nurse, as soon as she called my name she started to giggle a bit and remembered me from the second to last appointment where I got blood drawn. Let's just say we laughed about that one for a good few minutes... despite all the surgeries, needles, IV catheters, bloodwork, I still cannot get over the queasiness. Maybe a session is in order prior? I just made an ABV tincture last night, 1.1g in 1 shot of vodka, poured out 3ml and I'm drinking it right now... maybe maybe... :ninja:

Survivor of 1 half dozen Rotator cuff repairs.
Shocking how much the shoulder does for us... is it not?
Be strong....heel fast!

Shocking how in synch our bodies are, people don't realize the entire range of motions, the meticulousness of the human body in everyday function. Everything from sitting down to drive, to the instinctive urge to cover your mouth when you cough, it isn't until you can't do those things that you realize how complex and magnificent the human body is.
 

BigDaddyVapor

@BigDogJunction
Good luck. The surgeon that did my mom's rotator cuff, @#$%ed it up and she's now permanently disabled because of it. She's suing him for malpractice right now. His own lawyers are telling him he's f'd and he refuses to settle. I swear, some surgeons have the biggest egos, I've ever seen. Should have had a gander at the guy, that did my surgery. Soon as he had another notch in his belt (I survived the post-op phase)... he was shoving me out the door.
 

Vicki

Herbal Alchemist
This morning was weird for me. Woke up nauseated, but also hungry at the same time. I knew better than to eat anything, so I toked first. Then, I was able to eat some breakfast, which is something I'm rarely hungry enough to do. This ever happen to anyone else?
 

Quetzalcoatl

DEADY GUERRERO/DIRT COBAIN/GEORGE KUSH
Yeeeeeeep, that weird vortex in your stomach that makes you think you're hungry, and once you've spent 20 minutes making breakfast, you sit down to take a bite, and before the food even makes it into your mouth... everything just shuts down. My first "meal" of the day isn't usually for a solid 3 hours after I wake up.

Have you tried Ensure/Carnation breakfast? When I used to get bad I'd grab one from the mini fridge in my room and sip it. Just a little it at a time, but after an hour or so I would have drank it all. I was told by more than one person that the Carnation breakfast is just about the same thing as Ensure, but Ensure ended up more expensive because of the mixing, bottles, etc, whereas Carnation is the same thing, but in pre-mixed powder.
 

Vitolo

Vaporist
I prepare my mouth.
rinse and swirl water and spit.
I get a drop of apple juice mixed with water.. and swallow tiny little sips over a period of time, and eventually I can start swallowing sips.
Feel well everyone.
Have a blessed Friday, with stomachs that relax and let you all breath and exist.
May your Monster's all remain forever "on the run".
 

Vicki

Herbal Alchemist
Yeeeeeeep, that weird vortex in your stomach that makes you think you're hungry, and once you've spent 20 minutes making breakfast, you sit down to take a bite, and before the food even makes it into your mouth... everything just shuts down. My first "meal" of the day isn't usually for a solid 3 hours after I wake up.

That's exactly what happened to me this morning. I made breakfast, and sat down to eat. As soon as I started to take a bite, my stomach began to churn again. I had to vap some more and wait about half an hour before I could keep any food down. I can't tell my doctor I use cannabis, and she is really trying to help me. She decided that I needed to take Zanatc 300mg twice a day, and believes that will help the nausea. I wish she knew that even cannabis is having a hard time combating my nausea. That's how bad it is. I have my doubts that Zantac will help, but I'll give it a couple weeks before making final judgment.

Have you tried Ensure/Carnation breakfast? When I used to get bad I'd grab one from the mini fridge in my room and sip it. Just a little it at a time, but after an hour or so I would have drank it all. I was told by more than one person that the Carnation breakfast is just about the same thing as Ensure, but Ensure ended up more expensive because of the mixing, bottles, etc, whereas Carnation is the same thing, but in pre-mixed powder.

I do drink the Ensure Clear, but I can't drink it until I've been awake for a couple hours. My stomach can't handle much substance in the morning. It's harder for me too because I have meds & supplements I have to take all day long, starting in the morning. If I'm too sick to take my meds, it messes me up even more.
 

Quetzalcoatl

DEADY GUERRERO/DIRT COBAIN/GEORGE KUSH
Phenergan doesn't cut it for you? I had that appointment on Monday, I asked my rheumatologist if there was anything I could get instead of Phenergan/promethazine because it made me sleepy, he said it was pretty much the gold standard and the best thing he felt comfortable prescribing on the spot, he was a little hesitant to give me Zofran as he said he considered it a "heavy-duty" nausea drug with side effects more serious than something a cup of coffee can fix. And on top of that, he said a fair bit of the patients he sees, couldn't get it filled because it was prohibitively expensive, whereas promethazine I can get $5 a bottle of 90, versus $18-20 a piece for the Zofran.

The only thing I don't like about Phenergan is how sleepy it makes me... last time I used it was two and a half weeks ago, a few days past the initial shoulder pain. Woke up, felt like hell, lidocaine patch, reach for my Vicodin... stomach wasn't having it, so I had to put it down and basically force a Phenergan down my throat in bits while vaping, hoping it would hit in <10mi to hold me over while the meds start to work. Lay back down in bed, prop my legs up, try to get comfortable with a bit of calm music.... and then I woke up again. At 1. It was only 7am when I woke up at first, but I wasted half a day because I just fell back asleep and the Phenergan kept me asleep. This is the biggest problem with me. Take less, doesn't work that well, take enough, get real sleepy, can't drink coffee with it because whenever I take it I have nausea and want nothing in my stomach. And like you, I haven't told my guy that I'm onboard with a recommendation. I explained it to my mom that I'm already far too young to have what I have, and far too young to be getting the amount of opiates I get. 20 year olds shouldn't be able to see a doctor on an emergency basis, a doctor they've never seen in their life before, and walk out less than 10 minutes later with three prescriptions. They shouldn't be able to just have a random doctor look over their medical files, then try to flatten my hand, cause me to tighten up from the pain, and then say "okay... so which painkillers have you tried, and which one works best for you?" I coulda said anything! Gimme Dilaudid, doc! Prescribe me a beautiful nurse to come home with me and give me drugs! Instead I went with the weakest thing that I thought would for sure work, and walked out with 30 Vicodins. Not 24 hours later, I see my specialist, walk out with 100x 10mg Norcos (the yellow Qualitests, in the manufacturer bottle straight off the shelf lol) and he's reminding me that if they don't work out for me, to give his secretary a call and that I'll have a special emergency visit penciled in, "even if that means you coming in on lunch break."

I'm scared that if I tell him, he'll think I'm exaggerating the pain for drugs, I'm afraid that I'll be labeled as a drug seeker and blacklisted. I'm at the point now where I really WANT to not get this stuff, but I can't do it without it anymore. Like I said, it's no longer an addiction thing. Hell, I've maintained since Monday on nothing more than a single 5mg Vicodin per day! Medical helps me immensely sometimes, and not too much other times, but I'm at the point now where I'll take any relief. "Getting hungry" and "getting a dry mouth" along with "giggle fits when viewing silly YouTube videos" are much more manageable side effects compared to the side effects (terrible nausea/upset stomach/constipation/lethargy) I get from the other stuff I'm prescribed. He's actually done a fair amount of bloodwork, and he might have already ran drug tests without telling me (if that's even allowed?) so it may not even be an issue since he sees that I haven't asked for a raise in dosage or strength in the 8 weeks that I've been on Vicodin now. Hoping I can keep it this way until Christmas time, and then see where we go from there. Hell, I'm just trying to make it to Halloween, got a pumpkin to carve damnit! :myday:

Hope you feel better, Vicki. I know how crippling nausea can be, I've seen my sister throw up and cry from her migraines... I haven't offered her the chance to try MMJ yet because she isn't even 16, plus my mom urged me to keep my MMJ use on the very down-low, she said it was kind of a big jump for her to go from not knowing, to knowing, without letting anyone else know about it. My dad's family is... very traditional, and the less problems we have, the easier things are. That, plus the fact that my sister considers herself "straightedge" makes it a somewhat interesting subject. I don't really want her to get high, just better. Migraines tormented me for most of my high school life, which was coincidentally spent smoking copious amounts. I think maybe subconsciously my body felt more "normal" and I liked the feeling of normalcy more than the high.
 

Vicki

Herbal Alchemist
Phenergan doesn't cut it for you? I had that appointment on Monday, I asked my rheumatologist if there was anything I could get instead of Phenergan/promethazine because it made me sleepy, he said it was pretty much the gold standard and the best thing he felt comfortable prescribing on the spot, he was a little hesitant to give me Zofran as he said he considered it a "heavy-duty" nausea drug with side effects more serious than something a cup of coffee can fix. And on top of that, he said a fair bit of the patients he sees, couldn't get it filled because it was prohibitively expensive, whereas promethazine I can get $5 a bottle of 90, versus $18-20 a piece for the Zofran.

The only thing I don't like about Phenergan is how sleepy it makes me... last time I used it was two and a half weeks ago, a few days past the initial shoulder pain. Woke up, felt like hell, lidocaine patch, reach for my Vicodin... stomach wasn't having it, so I had to put it down and basically force a Phenergan down my throat in bits while vaping, hoping it would hit in <10mi to hold me over while the meds start to work. Lay back down in bed, prop my legs up, try to get comfortable with a bit of calm music.... and then I woke up again. At 1. It was only 7am when I woke up at first, but I wasted half a day because I just fell back asleep and the Phenergan kept me asleep. This is the biggest problem with me. Take less, doesn't work that well, take enough, get real sleepy, can't drink coffee with it because whenever I take it I have nausea and want nothing in my stomach. And like you, I haven't told my guy that I'm onboard with a recommendation. I explained it to my mom that I'm already far too young to have what I have, and far too young to be getting the amount of opiates I get. 20 year olds shouldn't be able to see a doctor on an emergency basis, a doctor they've never seen in their life before, and walk out less than 10 minutes later with three prescriptions. They shouldn't be able to just have a random doctor look over their medical files, then try to flatten my hand, cause me to tighten up from the pain, and then say "okay... so which painkillers have you tried, and which one works best for you?" I coulda said anything! Gimme Dilaudid, doc! Prescribe me a beautiful nurse to come home with me and give me drugs! Instead I went with the weakest thing that I thought would for sure work, and walked out with 30 Vicodins. Not 24 hours later, I see my specialist, walk out with 100x 10mg Norcos (the yellow Qualitests, in the manufacturer bottle straight off the shelf lol) and he's reminding me that if they don't work out for me, to give his secretary a call and that I'll have a special emergency visit penciled in, "even if that means you coming in on lunch break."

I'm scared that if I tell him, he'll think I'm exaggerating the pain for drugs, I'm afraid that I'll be labeled as a drug seeker and blacklisted. I'm at the point now where I really WANT to not get this stuff, but I can't do it without it anymore. Like I said, it's no longer an addiction thing. Hell, I've maintained since Monday on nothing more than a single 5mg Vicodin per day! Medical helps me immensely sometimes, and not too much other times, but I'm at the point now where I'll take any relief. "Getting hungry" and "getting a dry mouth" along with "giggle fits when viewing silly YouTube videos" are much more manageable side effects compared to the side effects (terrible nausea/upset stomach/constipation/lethargy) I get from the other stuff I'm prescribed. He's actually done a fair amount of bloodwork, and he might have already ran drug tests without telling me (if that's even allowed?) so it may not even be an issue since he sees that I haven't asked for a raise in dosage or strength in the 8 weeks that I've been on Vicodin now. Hoping I can keep it this way until Christmas time, and then see where we go from there. Hell, I'm just trying to make it to Halloween, got a pumpkin to carve damnit! :myday:

Hope you feel better, Vicki. I know how crippling nausea can be, I've seen my sister throw up and cry from her migraines... I haven't offered her the chance to try MMJ yet because she isn't even 16, plus my mom urged me to keep my MMJ use on the very down-low, she said it was kind of a big jump for her to go from not knowing, to knowing, without letting anyone else know about it. My dad's family is... very traditional, and the less problems we have, the easier things are. That, plus the fact that my sister considers herself "straightedge" makes it a somewhat interesting subject. I don't really want her to get high, just better. Migraines tormented me for most of my high school life, which was coincidentally spent smoking copious amounts. I think maybe subconsciously my body felt more "normal" and I liked the feeling of normalcy more than the high.

Wow, Quetzalcoatl, we are very much alike, in many ways. I have Phenergan in the medicine cabinet right now. It makes me extremely sleepy as well. Like you, I'll try to take 1/2 a tablet so I can stay awake, but it doesn't really do much for the nausea. Taking the whole tablet is out of the question because I wouldn't be able to function. Not to mention I also take Tramadol 3-4 times daily, along with other RX meds. And, cannabis, all which also add to the fatigue. I also tried Zofran, and was not impressed. It was expensive, and didn't really do a lot for my nausea/vomiting. I also use Lidocaine patches.

I've had the same doctor for over 8 years, and I really like her a lot. I would hate to start new with another doctor, so I refrain from telling her about my cannabis usage. I don't believe she would think I'm an addict. I've already proven to her that I'm not. I just don't want to take the chance.I don't think they are allowed to drug test us unless they tell us beforehand. I also go in for a lot of blood and urine tests, but they aren't drug tests.

I also hope you get to feeling better, Quetzalcoatl. I wish neither one of us had to go through this. :(
 

Quetzalcoatl

DEADY GUERRERO/DIRT COBAIN/GEORGE KUSH
I wish neither one of us had to go through this. :(
I've given this a lot of thought, and have come to the conclusion that even though I am miserable some/most days, and there are often times that I do really feel like giving up (almost like I can justify not trying anymore), I'm happy that I can still experience. I still breathe, and I still see, and I still live. And most of the times, it's the little things, the quick glimpses that make it all worth it. This was standing on the patio yesterday afternoon from my house. As soon as I got in bed at 1am, not 30 seconds later, the rain started to fall. Fell asleep vaping, listening to some tunes, letting the rain lull me to sleep. Today, I woke up earlier than I had intended, but got to make a fresh perfect cup of coffee, and if all goes well I'll be having dinner with my coworkers/friends and going to downtown afterwards. I think I can make it through tonight, they all know I use medical responsibly (ie, not walking into work stoned as f) and would totally understand if I had a quick sesh before going to dinner. Hell, my best friend from work is going to be my designated drinker tonight :)

NvpDw.jpg
 

CentiZen

Evil Genius in Training
Accessory Maker
I will have to try some pheneregan the next time I have an attack; my doctors put me on Zofran nearly right after gravol didn't work. I dislike it; I find it simply prevents you from puking; it does nothing to make you feel any less sick.

Sounds like the four of us have something quite similar to each other. However I'm lucky enough to not need painkillers, so that's one blessing for me to count...
 

Vitolo

Vaporist
I have been given Phenergan Suppositories on a number of occasions.
They are on cocoa butter so must be refridgerated...
(takes action before you can pull up your shorts!)
and have been prescribed "Mepergan Fortis" which contains the same drug, but with painkillers.
I am sorry you all have to be so familiar with these drugs.
 

Quetzalcoatl

DEADY GUERRERO/DIRT COBAIN/GEORGE KUSH
That one looks interesting, Vito. Demerol and prometh... I don't think you can take Demerol for extended periods because it's one of the really weird opiates in that it actually causes a toxic build-up of one of the metabolites. You get all these seizures, neurological problems, delirium like really bad fever dreams but without the actual fever... I can manage most days on a single pill, a nice pinch of herb, and a whole lot of patience :)
 
Quetzalcoatl,
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Vicki

Herbal Alchemist
I have been given Phenergan Suppositories on a number of occasions.
They are on cocoa butter so must be refridgerated...
(takes action before you can pull up your shorts!)
I am sorry you all have to be so familiar with these drugs.

I've had Phenergan suppositories too. You're right, they do work really fast! I may call my doctor and ask her for another script. Or wait until she calls me back with my blood test results.
 
Vicki,
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BigDaddyVapor

@BigDogJunction
Its the one thing I haven't talked to my doctors about. I just get tired of talking about everything. Its depressing. I have appointments scheduled before I even leave the appointments, I'm at. Hardly a week goes by, that I don't have at least 1 appointment.

The nausea, I just deal with it (kind of misleading, hard to "deal" with it). It hits me the same way. Hungry and feel like I'm going to throw up, the non-existent contents of my stomach. I've tried sipping things, but that just makes it worse. Soon as anything hits my stomach, it starts the upchuck feeling.

Typically, I just have to vape some and wait a couple hours. Just have to deal with the shaky, queasy feeling, associated with hunger.
 
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