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Joke thread

Discussion in 'The Vapor Lounge' started by Purple-Days, Aug 26, 2008.

  1. macbill

    macbill Gregarious Misanthrope

    Messages:
    3,658
    Location:
    The Evergreen State
  2. Summer

    Summer Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    1,634
    Location:
    Long Island, NY
  3. His_Highness

    His_Highness In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king

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    2,172
    A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

    The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair, and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

    "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100 -- but then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

    The cop came up to him, took his license without a word, and examined it and the car. The officer said, "It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift, and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

    The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

    "Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
     
    Bologna, macbill, GreenHopper and 8 others like this.
  4. Bologna

    Bologna je pense donc je vape

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    211
    Location:
    a Boston 'burb
  5. macbill

    macbill Gregarious Misanthrope

    Messages:
    3,658
    Location:
    The Evergreen State
  6. GreenHopper

    GreenHopper 20 going on 60

    Messages:
    1,704
    Dogs on a coffee break.

    Dog 1: "Heard a great joke"

    Dog 2: "oh yeah?"

    Dog 1: "knock kn-"

    Dog 2 goes fucking nuts....
     
    Squiby, His_Highness, Summer and 2 others like this.
  7. unsorted

    unsorted Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    216
    Damn! Now even Dog 2 can't take a fucking joke....
     
    Squiby and His_Highness like this.

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