Joke thread

Discussion in 'The Vapor Lounge' started by Purple-Days, Aug 26, 2008.

  1. Milkinson

    Milkinson uh oh

    Messages:
    28
    Location:
    The Shire
    what's Mary short for?

    >>> she had no legs

    ha
     
  2. kuzko

    kuzko Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    56
    When I did something bad as a kid my parents would spank me, that stopped when they caught me reading S&M magazines...
     
  3. His_Highness

    His_Highness In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king

    Messages:
    1,765
    On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.
    The old Indian gave him a potion and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned ‘This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful, and then say: ‘1-2-3.' When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life, and you can perform for as long as you want.”
    The man thanked the old Indian, and as he walked away, he turned and asked: “How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say ‘1-2-3-4,' he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon.”
    He was very eager to see if it worked so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom.
    When she came in, he took off his clothes and said: "1-2-3!” Immediately, he was the manliest of men. His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes, and asked: "What was the 1-2-3 for?”
    And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
     
    kellya86, Vapor_Eyes, Stu and 4 others like this.
  4. GreenHopper

    GreenHopper 20 going on 60

    Messages:
    565
    Someone asked an old man: "Even after 70 years, you still call your wife darling, honey, luv. What's the secret?"

    Old man: "I forgot her name and I'm scared to ask her."
     

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