Click to play YouTube Video I'm talking type of meat, temp, preparation, ingredients, toppings, you name it. I'd be willing to wager that there are plenty of people on this forum who are just as passionate about their burgers as they are about their vaporizers, and probably equally as obsessed with the grill those burgers are made on. So here's your chance to let that passion be known and shown... Think you're King Shit and make burgers better than anyone? Then prove it, you pompous turd () ... by sharing your secrets to me so that I can pretend the ideas were my own and can thereafter be the popular know-it-all douchebag at backyard cookouts... I'm not much of a meat eater, but when I do "want some meat," it's gotta be a burger. I fucking love burgers. Interestingly enough, it doesn't matter so much what type of meat, as long as it's burgerized... Hell, I even love veggie burgers, as long as they're a decent approximation. Nothing sexier than a burger that's well put-together... Hell, I'd probably eat Soylent Green if it were a burger... E.D.A.'s OCD BS (Burger Special ) When possible, I like my burger done a very particular way... Might be obvious, but I want mine done on the grill. No sauces. And the woman working the grill better look like this: Click to play YouTube Video Gimme a thick one. None of that McDonald's razor-thin bullshit. MEDIUM ALL THE WAY THROUGH! Not medium rare in one section, or medium well in another, I'm talking fucking MEDIUM ALL THE WAY THROUGH. On top of the burger will be placed LIGHTLY sauteed red jalapenos / cremini mushrooms (using olive oil and garlic). AFTER THAT, muenster cheese (the really pricey variety) will be placed over the peppers / mush and be allowed to melt, capturing them. On top of the cheese will be placed raw spinach, sliced raw white onion, and a VERY thin slice of raw tomato. The toppings should stack nicely and evenly, with none of them "spilling out." On both parts of the well-toasted whole grain bun will be placed a light amount of spicy guacamole, preferably made with cilantro and a shot of rum to go with my shot of rum. If I'm feeling really naughty, I'll add some diced pancetta. The burger will be cut into equal halves. Also, it sure as shit better be made from scratch. And it sure as shit better not come from meat that's been frozen. Minimal ingredients in the paddy itself. I'm looking to branch out and enjoy burgers in diff. ways... Suggestions? Tips / Tricks? Crazy vegan recipes? Weird preferences ? Feel the need to add meat toppings to an already-meat sandwich? Just hungry for a burger now? Feel free to say so. I'm hoping @dorkus_molorkus can teach me how to make a good ostrich burger... But what is the best way to kill an ostrich? A video would be really helpful. PS. Halfway through writing this post, I had to go make myself a burger!