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How Do You Like Your Burger?

Discussion in 'The Vapor Lounge' started by EveryDayAmnesiac, Jun 12, 2014.

  1. EveryDayAmnesiac

    EveryDayAmnesiac Heaven can't wait.

    Messages:
    1,456


    I'm talking type of meat, temp, preparation, ingredients, toppings, you name it.

    I'd be willing to wager that there are plenty of people on this forum who are just as passionate about their burgers as they are about their vaporizers, and probably equally as obsessed with the grill those burgers are made on. So here's your chance to let that passion be known and shown...

    Think you're King Shit and make burgers better than anyone? Then prove it, you pompous turd (:brow:) ... by sharing your secrets to me so that I can pretend the ideas were my own and can thereafter be the popular know-it-all douchebag at backyard cookouts...

    I'm not much of a meat eater, but when I do "want some meat," it's gotta be a burger. I fucking love burgers. Interestingly enough, it doesn't matter so much what type of meat, as long as it's burgerized... Hell, I even love veggie burgers, as long as they're a decent approximation. Nothing sexier than a burger that's well put-together...

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    Hell, I'd probably eat Soylent Green if it were a burger... :evil:

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    E.D.A.'s OCD BS (Burger Special :lol:)

    When possible, I like my burger done a very particular way...

    Might be obvious, but I want mine done on the grill. No sauces. And the woman working the grill better look like this:



    Gimme a thick one. None of that McDonald's razor-thin bullshit.

    MEDIUM ALL THE WAY THROUGH! Not medium rare in one section, or medium well in another, I'm talking fucking MEDIUM ALL THE WAY THROUGH.

    On top of the burger will be placed LIGHTLY sauteed red jalapenos / cremini mushrooms (using olive oil and garlic). AFTER THAT, muenster cheese (the really pricey variety) will be placed over the peppers / mush and be allowed to melt, capturing them.

    On top of the cheese will be placed raw spinach, sliced raw white onion, and a VERY thin slice of raw tomato.

    The toppings should stack nicely and evenly, with none of them "spilling out."

    On both parts of the well-toasted whole grain bun will be placed a light amount of spicy guacamole, preferably made with cilantro and a shot of rum to go with my shot of rum. :cheers:

    If I'm feeling really naughty, I'll add some diced pancetta.

    The burger will be cut into equal halves.

    Also, it sure as shit better be made from scratch. And it sure as shit better not come from meat that's been frozen. Minimal ingredients in the paddy itself.


    [​IMG]


    I'm looking to branch out and enjoy burgers in diff. ways... Suggestions? Tips / Tricks? Crazy vegan recipes? Weird preferences ? Feel the need to add meat toppings to an already-meat sandwich? Just hungry for a burger now? Feel free to say so.

    I'm hoping @dorkus_molorkus can teach me how to make a good ostrich burger... But what is the best way to kill an ostrich? :shrug: A video would be really helpful.

    PS. Halfway through writing this post, I had to go make myself a burger! :lol:
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2014
  2. DDave

    DDave Vape Wizard

    Messages:
    1,079
    I like em served with Peanuts!

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    And 9 at a time.... With a LARGE DIET COKE!
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    As my goal in life is to say this...
    [​IMG]
  3. EveryDayAmnesiac

    EveryDayAmnesiac Heaven can't wait.

    Messages:
    1,456
    As if you weren't getting enough protein in the burger already! :lol:

    Man, Five Guys burgers.... they're a heart attack sandwiched between a bun, but holy shit, they are fucking good. :mmmm:

    "Diet" coke, of course. :rofl:

    Man, it's always the lure of the hamburger that gets my brain itching for fast food...
    SSVUN~YAH, arf777 and DDave like this.
  4. syrupy

    syrupy CE works better than joint wax.

    Messages:
    1,256
    There used to be this place off the highway called Murder Burger, that served all kinds of beasts between hamburger buns. Their ostrich was tasty.

    [​IMG]

    When I went back there the place was renamed Redrum Burger, which in my opinion is an even more gruesome name, especially if you like some red in your burger.

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    I wanted to try the 1lb "Annihilator", but wasn't sure if the name was about how my digestive system would feel after eating this monster.

    [​IMG]

    But I ended up with a Bison burger instead.


    Mmmm, mmmm, Redrum Burger.




    Last edited: Jun 12, 2014
  5. EveryDayAmnesiac

    EveryDayAmnesiac Heaven can't wait.

    Messages:
    1,456



    Don't worry about the exit. They usually come out looking like this:

    [​IMG]
    SSVUN~YAH, dorkus_molorkus and DDave like this.
  6. thisperson

    thisperson Ruler of all things person

    Messages:
    185
    Location:
    So Cal
    I really like the burgers at a local diner here called Steve Jr's Burgers. I go for their Bacon Avocado Cheese Burger. It's almost nine dollars for the combo but nothing beats a good burger.
    SSVUN~YAH and EveryDayAmnesiac like this.
  7. crawdad

    crawdad floatin

    Messages:
    1,128
    Location:
    potano territory
    80/20 beef. hand mix in worcestershire, garlic pepper, steak seasoning, little dash of maple syrup, some bbq sauce (digging cola-q now). end result should still be firm otherwise you wet too much and now need more meat (dont use crumbs, its a burger not meatloaf). make large firm patties and push down center top some for heat expansion, cover top with light layer of more garlic pepper and bbq sauce and grill over wood fire, i cover it for no flame up. dont flip till bottom got some black on it then when flip its a quicker grill for top and off, done. lightly toast the bun add mayo and nothing else, make a side salad as a garnish. eat in silence, blindfold optional.
  8. RUDE BOY

    RUDE BOY Space is the Place

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    2,321
    What is 80/20 beef ?
    SSVUN~YAH likes this.
  9. thisperson

    thisperson Ruler of all things person

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    185
    Location:
    So Cal
    When selecting your grade of fat I think.

    80 percent meat/20 percent fat.
    SSVUN~YAH and crawdad like this.
  10. arf777

    arf777 No longer dogless

    Messages:
    555
    Location:
    In the Shadow of the Beast
    About 90% 80/20 beef (preferably round but chuck works), other 10% my homemade bacon ground up in it. Then salted and peppered, seared in rendered bacon fat, then finished in a pork belly stock I make. Cheese either cave-aged gruyere, dill havarti or a good swiss, using the belly stock to stem the cheese til melted. And of course three or four thick-cut pieces of homemade bacon, kosher pickles, mayo, mustard and fresh tomatoes topping it. Have eaten three like this so far this week.
  11. EveryDayAmnesiac

    EveryDayAmnesiac Heaven can't wait.

    Messages:
    1,456
    Could not ignore the call of the burger this afternoon.

    Had a bunch of mushrooms and some really nice Swiss cheese so I decided to go for the classic mushroom Swiss burger... extra, extra, extra mushrooms! And some sauerkraut.

    Bison burger.... mmm. I may prefer it to beef... :shrug:

    God, I'm getting hungry for another one already...
    SSVUN~YAH, thisperson and DDave like this.
  12. DDave

    DDave Vape Wizard

    Messages:
    1,079
    Really? I just ate lunch... come to my favorite place to see what's up, and get treated to another helping of "hunger pains"!?

    "mushroom Swiss burger... extra, extra, extra mushrooms!" YUMMMM! Goes good with A1 Steak Sauce!!!!

    I think I just drooled!!! :drool:
    SSVUN~YAH and EveryDayAmnesiac like this.
  13. grokit

    grokit power cosmic

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    4,341
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    the north
  14. Caligula

    Caligula *results not typical.

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    So Cal
  15. EveryDayAmnesiac

    EveryDayAmnesiac Heaven can't wait.

    Messages:
    1,456
    SSVUN~YAH and Caligula like this.
  16. thisperson

    thisperson Ruler of all things person

    Messages:
    185
    Location:
    So Cal
    SSVUN~YAH, Enchantre and Caligula like this.
  17. VaporsVaporizer

    VaporsVaporizer On the Stoop

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    814
    Location:
    Vaporville
    SSVUN~YAH, RUDE BOY, grokit and 2 others like this.
  18. EveryDayAmnesiac

    EveryDayAmnesiac Heaven can't wait.

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    I heard from Donnie they got good burgers there...

    SSVUN~YAH, RUDE BOY, Stu and 4 others like this.
  19. grokit

    grokit power cosmic

    Messages:
    4,341
    Location:
    the north
    The best burgers in the history of the universe are sadly no more...
    http://www.oldlarestaurants.com/hamptons-2/

    People loved the eighty varieties of burgers, including Stan’s Fantasy (with sour cream and black caviar), The Nelly Burger (creamed horseradish and bacon) and The Foggy Bottom Burger (peanut butter and sour plum jam). People also loved the little buffet that accompanied each burger, allowing you to further dress your sandwich and pile the plate with salads and side dishes. The menu did not include french fries — odd for a burger joint ...
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2014
  20. Stu

    Stu Maconheiro Staff Member

    Messages:
    5,312
    Location:
    Southeast of Disorder
    [​IMG]
    Check out those white shorts! God, I miss the 80's.:lol:


    :peace:
  21. PhilKleeman

    PhilKleeman New Member

    Messages:
    17
    Some of the amazing burgers I have ever seen..I have just stopped eating burger because of increasing weight:(
    SSVUN~YAH and EveryDayAmnesiac like this.
  22. arf777

    arf777 No longer dogless

    Messages:
    555
    Location:
    In the Shadow of the Beast
    I will be doing the same shortly - gotta lose at least 20 pounds. Until then here is one made as I described above- 90% 80/20 Angus chuck, 10% madeira-armagnac bacon, seared in bacon fat, seethed in bacon stock, topped with cave-aged gruyere and more madeira-armagnac bacon, full sour kosher pickles and sliced tomato.


    [​IMG]
  23. EveryDayAmnesiac

    EveryDayAmnesiac Heaven can't wait.

    Messages:
    1,456
    Now that's a burger! :mmmm:

    Will definitely have to look for some "burger meat" at the Farmer's Market tomorrow....
    SSVUN~YAH likes this.
  24. basement farmer

    basement farmer My face is melting...

    Messages:
    320
    As someone who got a worthless B.S. in Animal Science I'm amazed by the success of the marketing success of the American Angus Association at their ability to market one breed's meat as something above and beyond normal beef, especially ground beef.

    As a marijuana user, I gotta be honest with you and spread the word that meat is meat. If it tastes good that's because it's loaded with fat....animal fat. Your taste buds are genetically predisposed to favor something that is loaded with things that will get you through the winter. So it doesn't really matter if it's Angus "prime", Hereford, Holstein cull, Brahman standard, or whatever, if it has a high enough fat content, it's going to taste good.

    So, don't feel bad when you go to the meat department and don't dropthe premium dime on the "Angus Prime" selects. Just look for the most fat flecked Piece under the cellophane and fluorescent and you'll be just as happy and a whole less lot ripped off.
    Enchantre and SSVUN~YAH like this.
  25. arf777

    arf777 No longer dogless

    Messages:
    555
    Location:
    In the Shadow of the Beast

    I prefer Angus cuz I know a number of people who raise that breed, and I know how they treat the animals.

    But that being said not all beef tastes the same, though I presume it has more to do with what the animals are fed and how they are exercised than by the breed. But either way, as a former chef and butcher, I can tell you I most certainly can taste the difference between North carolina Angus, Japanese Kobe, and Texas beef. All taste better than most generic US beef.
    SSVUN~YAH likes this.

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