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Fuck the Parkinson's, the Dr just gave me a reason to smoke MORE!

Discussion in 'Medical Discussion' started by mvapes, May 16, 2013.

  1. Tweek

    Tweek Well-Known Member

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    No problem, my man. Just a fair warning...I prefer the "English Barmaid" style of dancing girl:


     
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  2. ShipDit

    ShipDit 1%

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    ^^^ This is EXACTLY why the Internet was invented,Albert Einstein would be proud!
    [​IMG]
     
  3. mvapes

    mvapes Surrounded by the healthy!

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    Howard is 95 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Howard goes to a secluded garden behind the center to sit and ponder his accomplishments and long life.
    One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours have passed.
    After a short lull in their conversation, Howard turns to Mildred and asks, “Do you know what I miss most of all?”
    She asks, “What?” and he replies
    “SEX!!!”
    Mildred exclaims, “Why you old fart, you couldn’t get it up if I held a gun to your head!”
    “I know,” Howard says, “but it would be nice if a woman just held it for a while.”
    “Well, I can oblige”, says Mildred, who gently unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
    Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Howard’s manhood.
    Then, one night, Howard didn’t show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Howard and make sure that he was O.K.
    She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who s
    holding Howard’s manhood!
    Furious, Mildred yelled, “You two-timing creep! What does Ethel have that I don’t have?!?”
    Howard smiled happily and replied, “Parkinson’s!”
     
  4. dorkus_molorkus

    dorkus_molorkus My member is well known

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    mwhahahahaha- thats sum funny shit.

    2 can play at that game my vapor brothers!
    I imagine the game of 'stinky finger' has taken a whole new appeal for your wives?

    Fuck man, just pop a viagra even, stick it in and just lie there.................
    when she's had enough you just vape a bowl & towel off.

    Gotta admit its a selling point.:tup:
     
    ShipDit, Tweek and mvapes like this.
  5. ShipDit

    ShipDit 1%

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    Hehehehee....! You sick fuckers,I'll tone it down a notch with a nice family friendly joke...
    What's black and blue and hates to fuck?
    The 12 year old chained up in my basement!
     
    AlexisSmith67 and stickstones like this.
  6. stickstones

    stickstones Wasted Staff Member

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    I can't stop laughing at that one, shipdit!
     
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  7. ShipDit

    ShipDit 1%

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    Thanks Sticks,maybe that will cheer her up a bit!
     
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  8. mvapes

    mvapes Surrounded by the healthy!

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    What's bloody, chubby and bald....



    Me, I tried shaving this morning with my left hand! Fuck you Parkinson's!
     
  9. ShipDit

    ShipDit 1%

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    I just quit shaving altogether,I'm trying to get my own "Bigfoot" show and I wanna look the part.
    So if you see any "Confirmed footage" of a shaky 'quatch furiously masterbating,that's me!
    And a big "Fuck You" to the channels promoting that kind of shit as fact. The term Crypto-zoologist is a TOTALY made up term you give yourself. There may be a Bipedal hominid roaming around but with all the bullshit artists out there we may never know for sure.
    Sorry about that,rant over.:)
    But still,fuck them!
     
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  10. mvapes

    mvapes Surrounded by the healthy!

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    The tremor really does support wiping your ass as well, it's like a vigorous massage with a double swipe each time. IMO - I would have to assume the ole' brown eye never looked so good.
     
  11. ShipDit

    ShipDit 1%

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    [​IMG]
     
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  12. Tweek

    Tweek Well-Known Member

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    I ate a Wendy's baconator the other day...so much grease, I had to take a shower.
     
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  13. mvapes

    mvapes Surrounded by the healthy!

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    Fucked up day at the dr everyone. Have to double my meds and start taking another one that will help increase dopium! If they're gonna give me these drugs can't they at least make it snortable? At let me feel like I'm enjoying.

    I'm gonna get real with you all for a second....I'm not ready to go through this :cry:


    This is the first time your gonna see the down side to mvapes, but at the same time this is the first day that mvapes feels scared and is hurting a bit. Thank you all for supporting us here. I know, for me at least - I need it.
     
  14. Tweek

    Tweek Well-Known Member

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    Go ahead Cornelius, you can cry....:cry:
     
    Fame Is A Vapor likes this.
  15. stickstones

    stickstones Wasted Staff Member

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    yeah, we can't laugh at life all the time. we're here for ya, bud.

    are your meds gonna fuck with your herb?
     
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  16. mvapes

    mvapes Surrounded by the healthy!

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    Geez, it better not fuck with the herbs. My dr is all about me and the weed and says if it helps than by all means - Vape Away!
     
  17. satyrday

    satyrday Well-Known Member

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    I don't know if that's meant as an entry into the Parkinson's joke contest, but I think it's a winner.
     
    Fame Is A Vapor, Tweek and mvapes like this.
  18. Tweek

    Tweek Well-Known Member

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    ShipDit loves a well buffed anus.
     
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  19. ShipDit

    ShipDit 1%

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    I feel your pain my Brother,I really do. Being scared? I'm scared shitless. For real, I'm spooked,and I don't spook easily.
    But listen up,things are going to get worse,but you don't have the option of being scared. You have a wife and daughter that need you to be strong for right now,period. I know being tough enough for 3 ain't easy,but something I learned on the Army applies here. That something is that no matter what happens,no matter matter how scared you get,you can ALWAYS lean on your Brothers,and at times your Brothers will need to lean on you.
    I know how scary this is,and how it seems like the darkness will never fade,but that's not true. You've got many years left,and in those years will be some damn good days. I live for those good days.
    I bet you're just freaking out a little since this is all new to you,but you'll come to grips with it sooner than you think. I promise.
    To quote Frank Herbert, "fear is the mind killer". Fear is just pain leaving the body,pay it no mind.
    If shit gets to harsh,you can always call me. I keep strange hours and often lose my phone for hours on end but I'll always be there for ya,just gotta find my phone first...
    It's going to be ok,you will adapt and you will take care of your family,you're strong enough and you realy have no choice. Sucks huh? Stay relaxed and don't focus on the negative shit....we still have lots of fun ahead!
     
  20. Tweek

    Tweek Well-Known Member

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    Bullshit you don't scare easy...you got pretty frightened when I told you how hairy I was.
     
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  21. Vicki

    Vicki The Bionic Woman

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    It's ok to feel the way you are feeling. It's perfectly normal when a person is faced with dealing with a chronic illness! You're only human, you know. :)

    I have gone through this too. I know it can be really hard, but your only choice is to give up and let the disease win. I know I'm not ready to do that, and I know you're not too. Depression is normal with this kind of thing. Just do the best you can, and take one day at a time. It's easier to chew that way. ;)
     
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  22. mvapes

    mvapes Surrounded by the healthy!

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    Your right brother, it's all about making the best of whatever shit were dealt. BTW - You're fucking burnt, you know I have 3 kids. Well, 2 of which I can prove...

    I will keep fighting, I will not let this beat me. I WILL CONTINUE TO ENJOY THE HALLUCINOGENIC EFFECTS OF MY NEW MEDS!

    :rockon:


    Edit: I cant believe you and tweek went through with it, what about "hair thing"?
     
  23. Tweek

    Tweek Well-Known Member

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    The hair thing...it all goes back to the Samsquanch. Always does.
     
  24. satyrday

    satyrday Well-Known Member

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    What?!? And to think I was about to shed a tear...
     
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  25. ShipDit

    ShipDit 1%

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    You know I have that bacon fetish that only Canadians can provide. I'm only human!
     

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