Fuck the Parkinson's, the Dr just gave me a reason to smoke MORE!

RUDE BOY

RUDE BOY

Space is the Place
Sorry to hear your having a hard time @Melting Pot. It's gotta be a bitch going through all you have the last few weeks, remember you just went through hell n back, sort of a traumatic few months and then surgery is going to maybe make you feel a little angry and frustrated with shit around you for a while. I can't offer great advice on how to overcome what your feeling right now other then more time, rest and a little isolation from others for a bit ('cause you just had open heart surgery how long ago??) to recover and just plain let what the fuck you just went through sink in and process some more.

I found you Level off emotionally as you get better physically after surgery like yours after a couple months not really after just a week or two (when i get a sorta second wind).

Hope you find some piece of mind soon. ... Sorry I'm ramblin' myself tonight.
 
Quetzalcoatl

Quetzalcoatl

DEADY GUERRERO/DIRT COBAIN/GEORGE KUSH
Melting Pot said:
I'm just going to throw this out there. With everything I've been going through. Im loosing the ability to control my anger and depression. To be honest I think the anger is getting worse than the depression. They had me on 40mg citalopram which did nothing maybe a more crying mad. Know they have me on xanax and it's like a drunk mad. Either way I just seem pissed and I don't wanna be.
My wife wants a divorce and a few of my friends I now are avoiding me my blatant honesty is just to much for some!!
Maybe time alone to find myself OHS and all the other bullshit is really starting to make me question a lot of things that I thought I already had figured out. Life is tricky if it was easy everyone would be happy. Lol
Enough of my rambling.:mental:
Such an idiot any ideas on mental meds would be appreciated.
Say what everyone says see a shrink. I'm not good at sharing in person. I usually just end up yelling and walking away!!!!
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Trust when I tell you that Xanax long-term is a terrible idea. Benzodiazepine withdrawals are absolutely hell. Even the worst of opiate withdrawals or SSRI withdrawals doesn't compare to benzo withdrawal, which to me is as close as you can get to alcohol addiction in pill form. You are probably aware that alcohol withdrawals when not done properly will lead to seizures and such, and death is not exactly a rarity when in severe withdrawals. Same thing for benzodiazepines. I'm not saying don't take them. I'm just saying: don't take them long-term. They're meant to be at most like a 2 week course and then off, unless you are under actual supervision by a competent doctor. Not that your doctor isn't. But I'm just saying. I lost a friend at 19 years of age from too much Xanax and other shit, fell asleep at a party and that was it. I wish I could give you the words to help ease your burdens, lord knows I've cried myself to sleep from the chronic pain I live with everyday. If you're up for it... perhaps give Cymbalta a try? I'm on a medium dose for chronic pain and it does seem to have helped with that a bit as well as easing some of my depression. This winter was easier on me, less of the winter blues and I made it to the end of March feeling better than last year! Hang in there buddy, far as I know we've got one shot at being the universe experiencing itself, may as well make the best with what we can :)
 
Vicki

Vicki

Herbal Alchemist
Quetzalcoatl said:
Trust when I tell you that Xanax long-term is a terrible idea. Benzodiazepine withdrawals are absolutely hell. Even the worst of opiate withdrawals or SSRI withdrawals doesn't compare to benzo withdrawal, which to me is as close as you can get to alcohol addiction in pill form. You are probably aware that alcohol withdrawals when not done properly will lead to seizures and such, and death is not exactly a rarity when in severe withdrawals. Same thing for benzodiazepines. I'm not saying don't take them. I'm just saying: don't take them long-term. They're meant to be at most like a 2 week course and then off, unless you are under actual supervision by a competent doctor. Not that your doctor isn't. But I'm just saying. I lost a friend at 19 years of age from too much Xanax and other shit, fell asleep at a party and that was it. I wish I could give you the words to help ease your burdens, lord knows I've cried myself to sleep from the chronic pain I live with everyday.
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^^Absolutely agree.

I went through what you are going through @Melting Pot and am still going through crap.

I am going through my own personal hell right now because of the stupid car accident. I know how you feel, believe me. I'm so sorry this is happening. It can be hard for people to understand our anguish if they have not experienced it. I'd be willing to bet that a lot of the people giving us both grief could never go through what we have. They would probably break. I have had doctors, nurses, and an attorney tell me I am very strong, and I know you are too! Look what you just went through! You are strong!!! You are just going through a lot, and need understanding, and time to heal. Don't push yourself either.

I can't give you advice saying "try to remain calm" because I'm having a hard time myself. So, I'll just give you this one piece of advice. Don't have a breakdown in public, if you can help it. Believe me, it won't be a pretty scene. That happened to me on Saturday.
 
Melting Pot

Melting Pot

Sick & Twisted
Vicki said:
I can't give you advice saying "try to remain calm" because I'm having a hard time myself. So, I'll just give you this one piece of advice. Don't have a breakdown in public, if you can help it. Believe me, it won't be a pretty scene. That happened to me on Saturday.
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I have to agree 100% on that one had my breakdown the other day at my GP. I should have known something was going down when I started lifting my shirt in lobby yelling at everyone this is where I'm at. Nurse and Dr came out right when I started F bombing everything and everyone. Telling me to calm down or leave I continued to tell them to fuck off kick me the fuck out if u have too. That's when I started hyperventalating that's when they realized there was a problem Bp 175/85 BPM 145
They told me if I don't calm down I'm going to ruin my surgery. Im crying now I'm going to stop. I'm not sure if going back there.kinda embarrassed. Good thing my cardiologist right across the hall.they brought me over to see him imidietly he says I amaze him this is a free visit go home and vape his words and relax. I told 100% about my mj use when we met. I told him I love him and went home and followed Dr's orders Lol
That was a lot today no meds
Cardiac and thinners that explains everything.
Hope everyone is feeling better than me and @Vicki
Better days ahead :nod:
Breakdown's sure are fun wish I had a video I could watch it back to back with my DUI video and just use them like motivational video's
Totally kidding
Be well all u sickies!!!!!!
Im trying to get a job at Walgreen's be well get it HaHa
 
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Enchantre

Enchantre

Oil Painter
{{{{hugs}}}} @Melting Pot

A traumatic experience can rip the masks right off of us, can't it.

I didn't have open heart surgery, but I did have a traumatic emotional event that made my heart absolutely HURT.. real pain. I discovered that I had a whole lot of layers over top a pit of anger & rage. For awhile, there was nothing but that, until I explored it and accepted it.

It's still under there, of course, but I have a better idea of why, and what triggers it, and how to avoid it, most of the time. Heart problems, from my view, comes from denying the Truth within ourselves... whether that is trying to "keep the peace", make someone else happy, "suck it up" all the time... whatever. It rankles, it burrows deep, it builds layers, like an oyster ("Like an ogre!", "no, like a parfait, everyone LOVES parfait!"), and makes it even more solitary.

I offer you this, my friend:

 
momofthegoons

momofthegoons

vapor accessory addict
funny_picdump_954_640_38_zpspc9srcrg.jpg
 
Melting Pot

Melting Pot

Sick & Twisted
This is one of my friend's that came to see me at mayo.Its at least been 15 or more years. It was nice to see him!!
Know back to @momofthegoons post I have a three year old daughter. I am old and disabled. Not looking forward to the future at least my 23 yr old son will have my back!!!
After my recovery and divorce and what not I will begin my transformation.
Starting from my chin I will begin the sickest spectacle of my self.When boys come over to pick her up. By just the site of me fear will set in.And as if that won't be enough I'll be cleaning a vast array of weapons. Lol
When he walks in throw a shotgun shell at him tell him they move a lot quicker after 10 pm.
She is going to have it tough!!!
cQDxQr7.jpg
 
Melting Pot

Melting Pot

Sick & Twisted
pYxbWj0.jpg

aHpa5rc.jpg


I really liked his ink thought I would share.
Everyone is saying oh no he's one of those people. That's right I like when people look at me and look away and try not to make eye contact.
My FC persona. Is a little different I hope this doesn't sway you're thoughts of me and if they do oh well u probably didn't like me anyways!!! HaHaHa
Sorry mods couldn't fit it in on one post for some reason.
I'm already covered just refreshing and finishing. After OHS I'll be laughing thru this!!!!!
There are things we do when entering the working world ( society) I stopped tatting up cut all that hippie hair off. Well that guys back I'm done with society!!!!
The wife is real happy with no shave no hair cut!!! Lol
This dude is so awesome spends time with kids with cancer they love the tats especially sponge Bob. Kids don't judge their still innocent.
Just wanted to say cause he doesn't fit the image.
The old judge book by cover thing.
 
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mvapes

mvapes

Scratchin' Glass!
Accessory Maker
So we all know I live in a country area. Heavily wooded. That in itself takes some getting used to coming from the city like myself. I would say I've been doing well with the adjustment. Until yesterday....

Every man in this thread knows that the first thing we do in the AM when waking up is grab our junk. It's the way it goes, don't fucking judge us. Anyway, I feel something like a skin tag way to close for comfort. Upon my investigation (I lost weight so I can see it now) I realized that this was no skin tag.

I had a FUCKING TICK ON MY DICK! What the fuck, I thought I would die.

It couldn't bite me somewhere else? In my eye maybe? I would have taken anything. At urgent care everyone is telling me that this happens all the time. And it usually goes to the same place!

So, if anyone asks - yes, ticks like sucking dick.

Even litt.......

:disgust:
 
Melting Pot

Melting Pot

Sick & Twisted
Just made my hotel res.
That's when my brain register's were going to mayo today .ya road trip spending more money on hotels awesome, driving myself even though I'm not supposed to because we can't afford for my wife take off work. Not really not afford more like there sick of her allways taking of for me which has been a lot lately.
Oh well another day of testing. A day in the life of a Guinea Pig!!! Lol

Feel better sickies
 
Vicki

Vicki

Herbal Alchemist
Melting Pot said:
Just made my hotel res.
That's when my brain register's were going to mayo today .ya road trip spending more money on hotels awesome, driving myself even though I'm not supposed to because we can't afford for my wife take off work. Not really not afford more like there sick of her allways taking of for me which has been a lot lately.
Oh well another day of testing. A day in the life of a Guinea Pig!!! Lol

Feel better sickies
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I have had to drive myself to most of my own doctor appointments, and testing. My hubby only has so many PTO days, and we can't use them all up at once. Saw my GP this morning to discuss my kidneys and the fact that I am about to lose my mind because of the fucking accident. She gave me new meds that are supposed to chill me out more and help my short fuse. I feel pretty calm right now, but that's probably the Xanax, not the Risperdal. :lol:
 
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