Fuck the Parkinson's, the Dr just gave me a reason to smoke MORE!
- Thread starter mvapes
- Start date
well apparently I actually see tracers all the time... I was having a discussion with my wife and commented that the animation on the tv looked rather glitchy... she looked at it and said I dont see anything wrong....
fucker was all pixilated and grainy!
we then began the look at my hand waving what do you see test.
laying on your back and the ceiling is breathing... whole room a little actually....
just had my eyes checked out a month ago so thats all good... just my brain having fun with me...
apparently I didnt get the memo that this flu came with flashbacks and accute bronchitis!
excuse me I have to go let the spiders out of the toilet.
fucker was all pixilated and grainy!
we then began the look at my hand waving what do you see test.
laying on your back and the ceiling is breathing... whole room a little actually....
just had my eyes checked out a month ago so thats all good... just my brain having fun with me...
apparently I didnt get the memo that this flu came with flashbacks and accute bronchitis!
excuse me I have to go let the spiders out of the toilet.
Vicki
Herbal Alchemist
Deeter decided to do a "self declaw" on herself. 
She always stays in a playpen now while we sleep, or are away from the house. (since April) She did this, trying to get out of the playpen while we were gone for an hour getting groceries. If you remember, she just had surgery on this exact same paw back in April. This time required a couple stitches and strong antibiotics. I'm also giving her Lysine, and it's healing really fast thanks to that!
She always stays in a playpen now while we sleep, or are away from the house. (since April) She did this, trying to get out of the playpen while we were gone for an hour getting groceries. If you remember, she just had surgery on this exact same paw back in April. This time required a couple stitches and strong antibiotics. I'm also giving her Lysine, and it's healing really fast thanks to that!
this was only the television... and was not a sigular or unique experience. i see stuff like that. this was just the first time we had a full on discussion and comparison about it.
like i said ive had a flu virus ... which over the last 2 weeks has lwft me unable to medicate as I have a bronchial issue too. so... everything gets to run full bore!
got to endure a full episode this moring... aggressive depressimistic rantings about nothing followed by the realization of such... which shortly after left me in an unpleasent state and resulted in series of full body muscle spasms and then a half hour freezing cause I thought I was ok to get out of the chair... faceplant!
ive been doing a great deal of research.
my age is much less than most in here by at least a decade. im young in comparison... it may be impossible for anyone to "relate" to me here... I turn 30 the 19th.
I dont expect anyone to give a shit or care or even believe me...
It would be lovely to be able to seek an understand doctor... but those ive had thus far have been far from it.
I havnt touched meth since I was 22. bu I had been doing it daily since I was 17.
started drinking liquor by the fifth when I was 14.
i can remember how old i was when my parents made me go to a psychologist and they proscribed me antidepressants cause I seemed to be having difficulty... we now refer to that as autism...
ether
dxm
psilocybin
thorizine
exc. exc.
my mom was my hookup for triamidol for a long time post methamphetamine years... it was hard to cope with thr pain.... and I wasnt a huge marijuanan user yet. just a little hitter here and there.
I dont give a shit If anyone even care....
I just feel like I need to let my story out.
I know im fucking coo coo... but I bet I know some stuff you might not too...
the meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to share it.
-Pablo Picasso
my gift is perspective, my only purpose in life now is to make other people think.... cause I dont have alot else to give... and we can never be sure how long have to give it.
I hope no feelings were hurt with this post. it was not my intention... I really do give a fuck about you guys... the friends I wish I had been able to keep all though the years.
@Vicki im not a cat person... but I hope your kitty gets better cause I am a friend to animals of all species. and no one should have to suffer. I can totally relate to your cat though cause im that self destructive too.
peace all... I hope to find some for myself today.
like i said ive had a flu virus ... which over the last 2 weeks has lwft me unable to medicate as I have a bronchial issue too. so... everything gets to run full bore!
got to endure a full episode this moring... aggressive depressimistic rantings about nothing followed by the realization of such... which shortly after left me in an unpleasent state and resulted in series of full body muscle spasms and then a half hour freezing cause I thought I was ok to get out of the chair... faceplant!
ive been doing a great deal of research.
my age is much less than most in here by at least a decade. im young in comparison... it may be impossible for anyone to "relate" to me here... I turn 30 the 19th.
I dont expect anyone to give a shit or care or even believe me...
It would be lovely to be able to seek an understand doctor... but those ive had thus far have been far from it.
I havnt touched meth since I was 22. bu I had been doing it daily since I was 17.
started drinking liquor by the fifth when I was 14.
i can remember how old i was when my parents made me go to a psychologist and they proscribed me antidepressants cause I seemed to be having difficulty... we now refer to that as autism...
ether
dxm
psilocybin
thorizine
exc. exc.
my mom was my hookup for triamidol for a long time post methamphetamine years... it was hard to cope with thr pain.... and I wasnt a huge marijuanan user yet. just a little hitter here and there.
I dont give a shit If anyone even care....
I just feel like I need to let my story out.
I know im fucking coo coo... but I bet I know some stuff you might not too...
the meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to share it.
-Pablo Picasso
my gift is perspective, my only purpose in life now is to make other people think.... cause I dont have alot else to give... and we can never be sure how long have to give it.
I hope no feelings were hurt with this post. it was not my intention... I really do give a fuck about you guys... the friends I wish I had been able to keep all though the years.
@Vicki im not a cat person... but I hope your kitty gets better cause I am a friend to animals of all species. and no one should have to suffer. I can totally relate to your cat though cause im that self destructive too.
peace all... I hope to find some for myself today.
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momofthegoons
vapor accessory addict
@Vicki ... your poor kitty! That looks awful!
@farscaper Never think that nobody cares. There are a lot of people who care. Your flu bug may be getting the best of you. There are some serious bugs going around right now. Have you seen your general doctor regarding this? I just saw a news report about a flu going around my area that causes paralysis. Please have yourself checked out.
As to being misdiagnosed all those years.... what can I say? The unfortunate truth is that autism presents in so many different ways that each individual affected by it is it's own "case study." The fact that you are not profoundly affected by it muddied the waters even more. I'm sure they threw all kinds of labels at you before they figured it out. The unfortunate result of that is many medications that you probably should never have taken. Add those to the illegal drugs you've taken and I think you've done an amazing job of getting it together. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You're an amazing artist and have the great gift of perspective. Those are two big positives.
@farscaper Never think that nobody cares. There are a lot of people who care. Your flu bug may be getting the best of you. There are some serious bugs going around right now. Have you seen your general doctor regarding this? I just saw a news report about a flu going around my area that causes paralysis. Please have yourself checked out.
As to being misdiagnosed all those years.... what can I say? The unfortunate truth is that autism presents in so many different ways that each individual affected by it is it's own "case study." The fact that you are not profoundly affected by it muddied the waters even more. I'm sure they threw all kinds of labels at you before they figured it out. The unfortunate result of that is many medications that you probably should never have taken. Add those to the illegal drugs you've taken and I think you've done an amazing job of getting it together. Try not to be so hard on yourself. You're an amazing artist and have the great gift of perspective. Those are two big positives.
grokit
well-worn member
An elevated fever in and of itself can cause tactile hallucinations/delirium.
exactly.... which definitely doesnt help. over the counter medications obviously can be troublesome... being that all of them tend to include a little former friend of mine... which now in even small doses causes me effects...
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dextromethorphan
this is where MY recent stent into hallucinating have been coming from.
in recollection the trips were similar in nature at the beginning and end... the middle of a real dxm trip is a little harder to explain....
we have all had a lovely 7-14 day vural bug... they will proscribe my wife a steroid shot and codine cough syrup... as I didnt want steroids shot there wasnt anything they could do really.
but as I have been trying to coop I did choose nquil a couple nights. my wife used it the night before she got her magic syrup and mentioned that "wonderful nights sleep" she got when she was ill the night before....
she got a wonderful night sleep I got a dxm flashback... to each their own.
ive realized also that my.... were gonna go ahead and call the "parkinsonism symptoms" are entirely related to my hypoglycemia. we can thank a whole lot of very bad eating habits for that!
now weather the hypoglycemia is mimicking that (totally plausible) or if its more of an actual link im not sure as to this point... and frankly... I dont get taken seriously when I discuss it outside of my wife... who has seen all my kinks and quarks....
back in August when I first spoke of any kind of Parkinsonism she commented in question as to my nodding being a sign...
my nodding? I dont fucking nod!....er... how long have I been nodding?
@momofthegoons thank you for your kind words... the distance one travels and the destination matter not if one does not eventually learn.
the unfortunate labels, misdiagnosis, prescribed madness and self prescribe escapes culminate into the being that is me... and if you take away all the pain, strip away these experience... well... I wouldnt be much of me at all.
you guys get to view today a side that few ever have or will... enjoy this experience. im learning from it.
my medicine is working its magic.
grokit
well-worn member
@farscaper, I could have added, "right before it kills you" to that last post,
definitely get yourself checked out if your fever is highly elevated.
definitely get yourself checked out if your fever is highly elevated.
EveryDayAmnesiac
Well-Known Member
Well, that's simply not true. I know of at least one guy personally who posts in THIS thread who could probably relate quite well:
http://fuckcombustion.com/threads/the-depressimistic-thread.15214/
The only problem with that thread is that it's really fucking depressing.
CarolKing
Singer of songs and a vapor connoisseur
Farscaper, it sounds like you're really run down too because you've been sick. Take care of yourself as well as your wife. Life gets hard at times. Reach out to people, FC is a pretty caring group. Many folks going through what your going through too.
Sometimes meds can help with depression and mood swings but you have to get the right ones and the right Doc. I don't agree that Pharmaceuticals are right for everyone. Maybe you can find the right strain of cannabis that helps with depression and anxiety. It helps me to get out and walk or ride my bicycle on days that I'm able. I have arthritis in my feet and back, I have good days and not so good days. It really helps with depression I've found. It sounds like such a simple thing but it helps me.
At times I have anxiety - cannabis helps when no pharmaceuticals worked for me. Take care there will be better days.
Sometimes meds can help with depression and mood swings but you have to get the right ones and the right Doc. I don't agree that Pharmaceuticals are right for everyone. Maybe you can find the right strain of cannabis that helps with depression and anxiety. It helps me to get out and walk or ride my bicycle on days that I'm able. I have arthritis in my feet and back, I have good days and not so good days. It really helps with depression I've found. It sounds like such a simple thing but it helps me.
At times I have anxiety - cannabis helps when no pharmaceuticals worked for me. Take care there will be better days.
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@grokit no fear. I only had a fever for a day. but anything even sorta respritory goes strait to me and I get bronchitis. and then I cant vape cause it hurts to cough so much.
@EveryDayAmnesiac hey you stupid asshole you kick ass!
@CarolKing when I find that perfect strain its gonna be a keeper. kandy kush was great... I hope go try that again soon.
@EveryDayAmnesiac hey you stupid asshole you kick ass!
@CarolKing when I find that perfect strain its gonna be a keeper. kandy kush was great... I hope go try that again soon.
Vicki
Herbal Alchemist
Well, I'm sitting here at the airport getting drunk on apple martini's because I can. I'm not supposed to be drinking alcohol, especially hard liquor, but fuck it. I need this release. I like the good buzz while waiting for hubby's plane to arrive. He's driving home, so it's all good too. 
t-dub
Vapor Sloth
It was Absolut Vodka, so it was probably more than $1.00, though.
Vicki
Herbal Alchemist
Me too @ CarolKing !
It was really dead at the airport, and the bar at Carrabba's was no exception. The bartender and I were discussing animal rescue, and our rescued babies.
Vicki
Herbal Alchemist
One more for the road. It's been a tough week. Vet
bills are stacking up. "Hubby you drive home"
Yup, that was pretty much me. Except, I could still walk out of the airport.
momofthegoons
vapor accessory addict
Vicki
Herbal Alchemist
I shouldn't have been so cryptic when I posted this. I'm just so tired of everything. I just found out my mother has breast cancer, but not from her, of course, because I am scum and she's not allowed to talk to me. I asked my aunt to give me updates and let me know when she dies, and she will because she understands. It's a Jehovah's Witness thing, so hopefully that explains it a little.
We also just found out that one of our other cats, Calli, (Aramis's mommy) has stage 3 kidney disease. We already switched her to feline k/d and she is also on meds.
There's other stuff coming down on me too, and I feel like I'm gonna lose it sometimes, so I just cry.
momofthegoons
vapor accessory addict
Aww Vicki, I'm so sorry life has been giving you a shit sandwich... 
But you've got to remember one thing. Life is a test. It's how we handle the tests that foresee the "future" for us. Without getting into a huge philosophical or religious discussion, I believe what comes around goes around. And what we do in this lifetime defines how we will pass and what lies ahead.
Hang in there. That old saying about "things being darkest before the dawn" is often true.
I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty.
But you've got to remember one thing. Life is a test. It's how we handle the tests that foresee the "future" for us. Without getting into a huge philosophical or religious discussion, I believe what comes around goes around. And what we do in this lifetime defines how we will pass and what lies ahead.
Hang in there. That old saying about "things being darkest before the dawn" is often true.
I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty.