Fucking oatmeal. I LOVE oatmeal, but it makes me fart all day. When I go out running at the track, I'm fucking farting. Fart so loud that heads turn. I know they must be thinkin', "No wonder that old guy can run. He's fucking self-propelled". And the worst part about it is, I have no control over them. It's not like I can feel it coming and move away if I'm in close proximity to someone. It just happens. I can be talking to someone and it just lets loose mid-sentence, and I'm like................ (what the hell.....). I know it's the oatmeal by process of elimination, but I'm not gonna give it up. I just gotta figure out some wise-ass comment rather than just sayin'............"Ooops"