Foods that make you...........FART !!!

[lwien]

Fucking oatmeal. I LOVE oatmeal, but it makes me fart all day. When I go out running at the track, I'm fucking farting. Fart so loud that heads turn. I know they must be thinkin', "No wonder that old guy can run. He's fucking self-propelled".

And the worst part about it is, I have no control over them. It's not like I can feel it coming and move away if I'm in close proximity to someone. It just happens. I can be talking to someone and it just lets loose mid-sentence, and I'm like................ (what the hell.....).

I know it's the oatmeal by process of elimination, but I'm not gonna give it up. I just gotta figure out some wise-ass comment rather than just sayin'............"Ooops"

 

[Tweek]

Fart loud & proud, my friend. Just don't shart. That's never a good thing...especially if you are wearing white underpants.

 

[Ripbongs420]

Just don't shart. That's never a good thing...especially if you are wearing white underpants.

 

[Tweek]

 

[Elluzion]

Dairy makes you far more than oatmeal. Removal all dairy and meat from your diet, then processed sugars, you will fart so much less and they won't smell as bad. A diet of high life force fruits and vegetables is critical in maintaining vitality. They will naturally cleanse and heal, so the colon can unclog.

So yeah, eat your fiber

 

[Buildozer]

Ground Turkey.... and any food w/ LSD in it.

But ya, Ground Turkey.. It's like there's a burst sewage line around here when I get mixed up w/ that shit.. The type of farts that even offend the dealer.. LOL

It gets pretty bad.. You can see the fumes in the hall way.

 

[lwien]

Dairy makes you far more than oatmeal. Removal all dairy and meat from your diet, then processed sugars, you will fart so much less and they won't smell as bad. A diet of high life force fruits and vegetables is critical in maintaining vitality. They will naturally cleanse and heal, so the colon can unclog.

So yeah, eat your fiber

Fuck that. I SAID I already went through the process of elimination and nailed it down to the oatmeal. I don't eat dairy, processed sugars or red meat. If I don't eat oatmeal, I don't fart. If I eat oatmeal, I fart. Simple as that. I also eat a LOT of fruits and veggies.

Elluzion, I am wayyyy ahead of you on this, but thanks for the advice anyways.

There are many people who can eat dairy and never fart. There are those that can't. We're all a bit different that way and generalizations typically don't work.

For me, it's the oatmeal and has absolutely nothing to do with dairy, processed sugars or meat or a lack of fruits and veggies.

ps, never had a problem with a clogged colon either, ESPECIALLY after what I went through a few days ago.

 

[natural farmer]

Fuck that. I SAID I already went through the process of elimination and nailed it down to the oatmeal. I don't eat dairy, processed sugars or red meat. If I don't eat oatmeal, I don't fart. If I eat oatmeal, I fart. Simple as that. I also eat a LOT of fruits and veggies.

Elluzion, I am wayyyy ahead of you on this, but thanks for the advice anyways.

There are many people who can eat dairy and never fart. There are those that can't. We're all a bit different that way and generalizations typically don't work.

For me, it's the oatmeal and has absolutely nothing to do with dairy, processed sugars or meat or a lack of fruits and veggies.

ps, never had a problem with a clogged colon either, ESPECIALLY after what I went through a few days ago.

There's a book I love about grains... "GRAIN DAMAGE" by Doug Graham...

And farting is a sign of something that doesn't work well in the guts right? So... Don't eat what makes you fart?

 

[Havelock Vetenari]

For me it's the more traditional chilli con carne which leads to gaseous outbursts,pretty sure it's the beans in them that make for the more noticable sound- and smelleffects.

Just loved when i searched this on youtube,i only had to type blazing saddles and 'the fart scene' was the very first related suggestion that came up.

 

[knowmad]

 

[lwien]

And farting is a sign of something that doesn't work well in the guts right? So... Don't eat what makes you fart?

I guess that's the quandary, eh. Oatmeal is soooo good for you on so many different levels. I think it boils down to the most common of measurements............the risk/reward ratio.

And if you REALLY want to know more than you really need to know about farts, check this out:
http://www.oddee.com/item_98612.aspx

btw, some pretty interesting shit (pardon the play on words) on that site above.

 

[djonkoman]

ofcourse I know of the foods that supposedly make you fart, but honestly I've never noticed any influence of what I eat on my farts. maybe I just have never eaten the foods that make me fart, or I just haven't noticed it.

I do know though that plums make me shit. I once went to the market and bought way too much fruit(1,5 or 2,5 kg plums, 1kg of wich was overripe and priced off, 0,5 or 1 kg grapes and 6 kiwi's), so that day I ate around 6-10 plums. I used the overripe plums to bake a pie(combined with apple), and I ate a lot of plums and plumpie the following days.

 

[lwien]

I do know though that plums make me shit. I once went to the market and bought way too much fruit(1,5 or 2,5 kg plums, 1kg of wich was overripe and priced off, 0,5 or 1 kg grapes and 6 kiwi's), so that day I ate around 6-10 plums. I used the overripe plums to bake a pie(combined with apple), and I ate a lot of plums and plumpie the following days.

Considering what prunes do, I don't think that what you said above comes as any surprise.

 

[BLAZING OG]

Just dont' go trying this at home

I dont know wether to laugh ot feel bad!
I think he ate to many bell peppers!!!!

 

[joeyjoejoe]

Fiber one bars, broccoli , any dairy .

 

[StickyShisha2]

fiber one brownie, cabbage, dairy