Can you pawn current wedding rings?

[BigDaddyVapor]

Debatable if this belongs here, but considering a lot of my wife's attitude comes from the fact I use MMJ... she sees me as a "stoner". She's obviously been holding this in a while, but when she put up her fingers to do the quote marks and said, "medicine" and that she thought, I could do without it, until my SSDI started coming... told me, she doesn't get it. She wants me to take the free pharmaceuticals I can get from my insurance. Funny, I started MMJ after 6 months of research and specifically to ALLEVIATE my need for pharmaceuticals, which come with ALL kinds of nasty side-effects, even up to death. No... my health conscious wife, who thinks I'm a stoner... wants me to poison my body with generic pharmaceuticals.

Then tonight, she had the audacity to tell me, I didn't know WTF I as talking about, in regards to electronics and electricity. Never mind the US Navy trained me for 6 years in the field and she doesn't know jack shit about it... she's trying to convince me, my single LED light, is sucking down $300 a month of electricity and its hasn't ANYTHING to do, with the AC window units we were using this Summer. Doesn't matter I can prove it, by the fact I've run (2) of the lights, without so much as a hiccup on our bill, because I turned (1) on, at the same time we lit up the ACs... in her mind, it HAS to be the lights fault.

She's refusing to "pay for it" and I have to come up with the $300? As I told her... "no, you'll do whatever the fuck it takes for this family to keep our head above water, just as everyone else has been."

In the process of her screaming at me, insulting me and refusing to listen to me try and explain that a light, does NOT draw near the same as an AC unit (which they put warnings out about, every year during summer, to not run them during peak hours)... she removed her wedding rings and chucked them at me. Don't know where they went, wasn't watching. Sounded like one might have landed in the vent, the other the litter box.

So, if I go back in there and the rings are still laying wherever they lay? Can I pawn them?

 

[Fully Melted]

---edited---

So, if I go back in there and the rings are still laying wherever they lay? Can I pawn them?

Sure. But taking cyanide is faster.

 

[BigDaddyVapor]

At this point, its getting preferable. I have maybe a few years left. Sure, i may miraculously survive longer, but the measurable degradation they see of my aorta, since my surgery... it ain't looking good. Having someone shrieking at me, a few times a month doesn't help. I don't want to be miserable. I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of her not recognizing the effort I put into, just getting a smile from her every day (yes, I go out of my way to make sure). She walks around annoyed with me constantly.

Honestly, I think its becoming apparent, she doesn't want to change and she doesn't want me to either (human nature). Doesn't matter, going back tothat will kill me inside a year and I'm much more at peace now. No chaos, not natural for her.

EDIT: I just did the math. Based on .20 per kilowatt hour, my light costs about $32 to run per month. The AC? Well over a hundred.

 

[deadc0ffee]

Good luck with whichever decision you make.

 

[BigDaddyVapor]

I finally found the wedding band (eternity band w/ diamonds inset). She couldn't find it, because I noticed she did pick up her solitaire (and left it on the side of the tub). I hid the band away. Let it sink in, that she started all this shit over $32... then let the realization she threw away half her ring, set in.

 

[Vicki]

I'm sorry you are going through this with your wife.

I am fortunate. My husband hates the poison pills, and will go out of his way to make sure I have my medical cannabis, and he doesn't even use it. He's seen me on the pills, and he hates it. I'm not a zombie when I vaporize like I was when I was taking daily pain pills. (methadone 4 times daily) I wish your wife could see the same difference my husband has seen.

I wouldn't pawn the rings yet. I think your wife hates cannabis so much that she would find any reason to hate anything to do with it. That's a shame too. Wish we could sit down and talk to her. I believe my husband could get through to her.

 

[BigDaddyVapor]

My 64 y/o mother, who's also a nurse, doesn't believe in recreational use (she's Al-Anon)... even she approves and has remarked on the difference. Hell, most everyone I know has the attitude that I should just do whatever the #@$& I want. I'm dying, I should get to, is their reasoning.

I didn't even do that, after having been a huge stoner, growing up. Even having spent most of my adult years smoking pot. Before I decided to start using it medicinally... She knows this... I spent literally 6 months looking into whether it could help my specific complaints. Who the Hell does my wife think she is, to question what my body needs. Last I checked... Her chest hasn't been crackedopen and every inch of her aorta isn't shredded.

Nope, last I checked... every doctor doesn't treat her like a walking corpse, either.

 

[vapeguy]

Firstly prescription drugs are now the #1 cause of death and disease killing well over 800 000 americans a year (let me know if you want the studies to show her). I was given a horrible disease as the result of a prescription drug I was given and it nearly killed me. Their solution was to give me another drug that causes cancer, by that time I realized modern medicine is deadly quackery and did my own research and have been cured for 7 years now.

Secondly, you must have your calculations for the LED running costs wrong, unless this is some super incredible bright as the sun LED, I think you misplaced the comma and either meant $3.20 or even $0.32 per month or did some other calculation mistake, it's simply impossible for an LED to cost that much, at that rate your AC would likely be tens of thousands a month.

Think about it, the LED is almost certainly well under 1 watt while the AC is 500-1800 watts, so how could the AC only cost 3 times more? Even if the LED is on 24/7 and the AC running half the time, that's still well over 250 times more power for the AC assuming it's only 500 watt.

Would you mind showing what LED you're talking about? Is this some tiny night light or one of the new energy saving LEDs that are as bright as a 100 watt bulb (if that's the case, you're saving money, not costing money)?

Sorry for focusing on the LED but it really got me confused how an LED could possibly consume so much power, plus if we figure out your error your argument against your wife will be even more powerful if it's really $3.20 or $0.32.

 

[BigDaddyVapor]

Its a 330watt grow LED. My math was right.

I showed her the math. I proved beyond a reasonable doubt I knew what I was talking about. Everyone that has become involved in this, has agreed... I'm right. She... doesn't care. Its an emotional and psychological breakdown in logical thought-process. I've watched her go through it, for the last few weeks. Yesterday, was the 1st day she's spoke to me since that day, in a cordial tone. She still won't sleep in the same bed with me.

She's not mad at me. She's lost her faith and is lashing out. I noticed it in a picture of her from a few years back (prior to my catastrophic medical event). She had a smile, that hasn't been there since.

When I lived that night, I saw it as another chance, an opportunity to right wrongs, work on being happy and leave a positive mark on those around me and who I come in contact with. In her words however, a couple years back... "my husband died in the hospital that night..."

I didn't make a huge sum of money, but for the area we live in, the cost of living... I was in the upper bracket of incomes, without being a corporate executive. Hell, if I were still able to work, I would be making about twice as much now, as the market has caught up with the license endorsements. Hazmat and Tanker drivers aren't like others. They're stable, don't bounce around and have to have next to spotless records. I would be well into six figures, right now.

Congratulations on beating back a nasty disease. She knows the facts as well as I do. Again... its change, its different and its an easy target to blame her feelings on. I got rid of it, it didn't appease her. Means it didn't have anything to do with "it".

I'm just going to keep working on myself and take it a day at a time. Enjoy life with my daughter and others that want to be around me.

 

[vapeguy]

I hope things get better.

BTW since you had only said "LED" I was imagining a $0.99 LED night light that uses under 1 watt, that explains the $32 cost.

 

[Vicki]

IMO, I think she is just mad at you because of what you are using the light for, not the light itself.

 

[Elluzion]

I hate how negative people can be towards a freaking plant. It's a PLANT. nature,,,, here for our nurture..

But the government comes along making it illegal and telling people it's a schedule 1 drug, ZOMGGG it's going to kill us all and poison our brains.. uhh NO! complete utter bullshit.

I'm sorry for your situation man. You deserve your medicine and to use it in whatever way you choose. Last thing you need is your wife trying to banish you from hogwarts..

It sounds like their is definitely some pent up stuff deep down and the root issue may be deeper than it seems, find it, resolve it. Reintroduce nature to her and maybe show her all the amazing benefits and all the ways it makes you feel better. happy wife, happy life.

 

[Puffers]

Damn BDV she didn't speak to you at all for 2 weeks?!? Good lord and I thought my wife could hold a grudge. Sending good vibes your way man. I still struggle to a degree getting my wife to accept me using cannabis as medicine even though she has seen how much it's helped me (eliminated all opiates, 120mg morphine/ day 40mg hydrocodone/ day). Good luck, I feel for you man.....

 

[BigDaddyVapor]

Yeah, my wife tends to hold a grudge, or guilt refuses to let her break out of the shell.

She's talking to me now, pretty much as if, nothing happened. It started shortly after I asked her, to write it down for me. What have I done, that deserves this type of treatment, why and when she just completely gave up on our relationship. No response to that, yet.

People keep saying there must be some underlying problem. I don't know if they're implying I must have done something. I've also had people say I should approach and ask her what I can do, to change, to appease her.

Let's get something straight. I've spent the last 3 years in therapy. I've made a LOT of changes in who I am and how I interact with others. I was a grumpy, uninvolved jerk. Since then, I've seen the important things in life and have concentrated on them. My family and my happiness (can't be responsible for anyone else). Those are the goals I've been working towards. However, like most people that aren't going thru changes, they don't like them. They don't like different responses, when they're angry and yelling... they want the same response they got before. I can't afford to do that, unless I want to drop dead in the middle of it, one night.

I don't claim to be perfect. Far from it. I wouldn't be on this forum, if I was. But, what's happening, is my wife is in the same cycle she's gone into, since I've known her. Her depressive, can't look in the mirror, everyone else is at fault, except me mode. Its how she copes. Unfortunately, it also drives away, everyone around her. I can't get our oldest son to come home on leave, because he doesn't want to be around the shit.

As I said, she's talking now. But, our marital bed, is a single proposition. If I'm sleeping, she will grab her covers and move to the couch. Neither is there any signs of compassion, or passion. Just a couple of roommates. I can only deal with that for so long. I'm human, just like anyone else and companionship, is just as much a desire and need for me to.

 

[weedemon]

aww, im sorry to hear that man. sounds to me like how it was with my first ex for a while. i was unable to save it myself. i hope you do better man!

 

[SunnyHours]

When I lived that night, I saw it as another chance, an opportunity to right wrongs, work on being happy and leave a positive mark on those around me and who I come in contact with. In her words however, a couple years back... "my husband died in the hospital that night..."

That really makes me sad. I get that she might be frustrated (and it probably has a lot to do with you dying). But that is just plain mean and very irresponsible. She's probably even more pissed at herself for those feelings she has towards you because she probably knows it defies all logic.

I don't claim to be perfect. Far from it. I wouldn't be on this forum, if I was. But, what's happening, is my wife is in the same cycle she's gone into, since I've known her. Her depressive, can't look in the mirror, everyone else is at fault, except me mode. Its how she copes. Unfortunately, it also drives away, everyone around her. I can't get our oldest son to come home on leave, because he doesn't want to be around the shit.

I thought my mother was giving me a hard time. I'm not dying but she's in the same mode your wife is in. Whatever happens it's my fault so I really feel you. And I don't know for you, but it really kills my top shape mood (my body is deteriorating too, so I might as well take care of my mood ) when I have to argue over something I know she's wrong about and that she knows it too. It's ridiculous! Especially since she's a Woman. No matter how I explain things, she finds a way to ignore the comment or make it sound like this explanation doesn't mean anything to her eyes.

I say, if you don't mind. Maybe get away for a few days...make her realize that you might be gone forever. In any long term situation I would of said to go back on the pharms to make her notice how much better you do with MJ, but since time is crucial...
If all fails, at least you'll be far away from the drama.

 

[BigDaddyVapor]

Welcome to the board and the words. I've been told the same before, about my responses and I'm just as culpable as her, just for engaging in the horse@#$%.

I thought my mother was giving me a hard time. I'm not dying but she's in the same mode your wife is in. Whatever happens it's my fault so I really feel you. And I don't know for you, but it really kills my top shape mood (my body is deteriorating too, so I might as well take care of my mood ) when I have to argue over something I know she's wrong about and that she knows it too. It's ridiculous! Especially since she's a Woman. No matter how I explain things, she finds a way to ignore the comment or make it sound like this explanation doesn't mean anything to her eyes.

Yeah, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm sure you've had many of the same conversations, I have had, over the same stupid bull@#$%. My wife started it up again today. Two weeks of peace and she makes accusations, then goes snooping in my shit (computer again), to dig up MORE ammo. She found some stuff, that had she spent more than a glance looking at, she would have noticed it was SPAM... but instead she attacked me as if I were cheating. I told her what it was and she still called me a liar and asked me to "prove it". So I went and got my laptop and showed her every email and every webpage associated with it. I even showed her how the damn thing had installed an app on my phone w/o my permission (which REALLY pissed me off). She ran the gamut today and her four major points, were ALL @#$% she had made up in her head. She's in the bedroom bawling her eyes out right now.

Then this afternoon, after I just wanted to get the @#$% away, I went to the bedroom and laid down. She comes, wakes me up and says I need to get up, so she can lay down and go to sleep. When I responded, yeah so do it... she claims "I think if we can't trust..." I cut her off and said, don't make this @#$% "we". She grabs her pillow, storms out of the room and loudly announces to everyone within earshot (pretty much everyone, including our neighbors and our 11 y/o daughter), that it will be my fault, if she gets in a wreck and dies tonight (she works graveyard), because I wouldn't let her sleep.

As I said... no, you'll be dead, because you're too @#$%ing stubborn to admit when you're wrong.

As for taking off. Until I get enough money to get her car out of non-operation registration... I'll won't be able to walk out for a bit. Though, she keeps this shit up, I will be spending next Tuesday and Wednesday night at a buddy's. I've already made prior arrangement with them, for a place to crash.