Asperger's Syndrome & MMJ

Enchantre · Apr 5, 2015

I hate myself today.

Pull all my masks off, my facades, and I'm just angry.

Emotional shit is so awful. I cannot express anything like a "genuine" emotion. What the fuck is a genuine emotion? I hurt so damn badly, but it always comes out as anger.

I'm a flawed, substandard model. Should be recalled.

farscaper · Apr 5, 2015

Enchantre said:
I hate myself today.

Pull all my masks off, my facades, and I'm just angry.

Emotional shit is so awful. I cannot express anything like a "genuine" emotion. What the fuck is a genuine emotion? I hurt so damn badly, but it always comes out as anger.

I'm a flawed, substandard model. Should be recalled.

welcome to the full moon! just look around the anger and realize its just a heightened awareness and your just sensing everything to intensely... feeling yourself to intensely.

it will pass and well will return ... in the mean time meditate, seclusion from others who we dont want to be offended by or that we dont want to offend... ...

im not being very successful in any of those regards myself actually.... but then again it could just be this farce of a holiday....

I did just spend the last hour flying a kite and eating pot brownies so I dont really care about today... fuck it. . if it gets to intense at this family circus ill just go fly my kite... literally.

pictures to come.

DDave · Apr 5, 2015

@Enchantre & @farscaper

I'm sorry to read of such feelings or pain. I have a ton of favorite people on this site! People who have welcomed me. Shared info. Shared feelings... a laugh now and then.... even shared common bonds. You know you guys are on this list.

Today is painful for me in many ways too, but also a day I am thankful... thankful that there are people like you out there and that I have been lucky enough to have shared a bit of the journey through life with you.

Do hang in there! I definitely don't wish to walk my path alone...

farscaper · Apr 5, 2015

DDave said:
@Enchantre & @farscaper

I'm sorry to read of such feelings or pain. I have a ton of favorite people on this site! People who have welcomed me. Shared info. Shared feelings... a laugh now and then.... even shared common bonds. You know you guys are on this list.

Today is painful for me in many ways too, but also a day I am thankful... thankful that there are people like you out there and that I have been lucky enough to have shared a bit of the journey through life with you.

Do hang in there! I definitely don't wish to walk my path alone...

you hang in there too! come fly a kite and eat a pot brownie with me anyone who wants to!

Enchantre · Apr 5, 2015

I have pot cookies! I'll have one. Here, @DDave I have coconut muffin or chocolate chip... the CC is twice as strong, though

Enchantre · Apr 5, 2015

@DDave was my 15,000th like!!

Whoa. suddenly feeling a bit naked here.

DDave · Apr 5, 2015

Enchantre said:
I have pot cookies! I'll have one. Here, @DDave I have coconut muffin or chocolate chip... the CC is twice as strong, though

I accept! Would probably hit me like a horse tranquilizer though... I have zero tolerance currently. Still on my forever TBreak... :cry:

Enchantre said:
@DDave was my 15,000th like!!

Whoa. suddenly feeling a bit naked here.

ROCK ON! Does that make me a milestone?

Melting Pot · Apr 5, 2015

Just keep chugging along that's all we can do. But never think your alone this is a long train. And we all might be damaged goods. I tell you we all bring our piece greatness to the world!!! Believe me I know some times it gets tough almost unbearable. That's when we brush it off. Bust out the shatter and a stack of flowers and say fuck you!!!
You're not fucking my day I'm the boss!

Feel better everyone
Show it WHO's BOSS!!!!!

DDave · Apr 6, 2015

clukx · Apr 6, 2015

Enchantre said:
I hate myself today.

Pull all my masks off, my facades, and I'm just angry.

Emotional shit is so awful. I cannot express anything like a "genuine" emotion. What the fuck is a genuine emotion? I hurt so damn badly, but it always comes out as anger.

I'm a flawed, substandard model. Should be recalled.

i love you!
thank you for posting this, im sorry. but this is me...

Enchantre · Apr 6, 2015

Tried to do the work thing today. Nearly lasted a half-hour.

Had the shakes so badly. Maelstrom of competing, conflicting, & self-damning emotional confetti turning my insides into slush.

Gotta love my hubby. He took me out to the woods for a walk, let me try to string words together until I was able to catch hold of an emotional thread, and do some backtracking. I'm still shaky, but I'm pretty hopeful I'm over the hump on this, and heading back to functional (note: not "normal"). I told him that he could hang out his shingle as an "Introspection facilitator".

Of course, I'm comfortably numb, and should be for the rest of this day.

clukx · Apr 6, 2015

i also had to work today, fuck mondays..in the face i always cry in the morning and today sucked especially bad, i just wanted to go home all day but that will accomplish nothing...it sucks...now im gonna smoke, pet the dog, and drink some whiskey and sleep....

farscaper · Apr 6, 2015

clukx said:
i love you!
thank you for posting this, im sorry. but this is me...

wrong! it was you due to the fact you did just express your feelings to us! :tup:

keep that chin up and remember this is only a moment and it will pass to better moments!

until then, may I pumble you with memes I found in the clever keep chin up google fu. :popcorn:

finally... if I havnt made you laugh yet...

clukx · Apr 6, 2015

thanks! definitely helps farscaper. it will pass, only to return again tomorrow. i won this battle!
time to smoke and watch trailer park boys reruns!

DDave · Apr 6, 2015

farscaper said:
wrong! it was you due to the fact you did just express your feelings to us!

keep that chin up and remember this is only a moment and it will pass to better moments!

until then, may I pumble you with memes I found in the clever keep chin up google fu.

finally... if I havnt made you laugh yet...

@farscaper Thanks! I went along for this ride... appreciate the laughs!

farscaper · Apr 6, 2015

DDave said:
@farscaper Thanks! I went along for this ride... appreciate the laughs!

clukx · Apr 7, 2015

Whyyyyyy

DDave · Apr 7, 2015

clukx said:
Whyyyyyy

LDS-Mormon-Spiritual-Inspirational-thoughts-and-quotes-1.jpg

Enchantre · Apr 7, 2015

Work went well. Rather well, actually.

Funny thing about all the "Likes"... anytime I arrive at FC, if I have a bunch of likes on my alerts, I usually get that moment of panic/freeze up "oh shit! what did I say?!"... Likes are kinda of like when people at work notice my weight loss. I feel all naked. someone LOOKED at me, and SAW me. OMG. was my hair weird? was my shirt bunched up in the back? dear LORD was I wedgied??!!?! It is WORK maintaining social equilibrium when such panic rears its ugly, ugly head.

I like that my customers can't see me.

Just had a pair of chickadees fly into the balcony, and poke around my dead herb basket, then flutter away... momentary stab of pain, left chest area; hmm, feels like a "normal" reaction to loss, nothing terribly out-of-whack... yep, I think I have my whack back. I also think it's time to get a bird feeder out there.

Life does go on.

DDave · Apr 7, 2015

Enchantre said:
Work went well. Rather well, actually.

Funny thing about all the "Likes"... anytime I arrive at FC, if I have a bunch of likes on my alerts, I usually get that moment of panic/freeze up "oh shit! what did I say?!"... Likes are kinda of like when people at work notice my weight loss. I feel all naked. someone LOOKED at me, and SAW me. OMG. was my hair weird? was my shirt bunched up in the back? dear LORD was I wedgied??!!?! It is WORK maintaining social equilibrium when such panic rears its ugly, ugly head.

I like that my customers can't see me.

Just had a pair of chickadees fly into the balcony, and poke around my dead herb basket, then flutter away... momentary stab of pain, left chest area; hmm, feels like a "normal" reaction to loss, nothing terribly out-of-whack... yep, I think I have my whack back. I also think it's time to get a bird feeder out there.

Life does go on.

@Enchantre glad to hear you're feeling a bit better!

I liked your entry, then I quoted you, then I tagged you. How you feeling now? :brow:

Kidding! (Hey, wasn't there a waving the white flag in surrender smiley? Heck with it, I just typed it all anyhow!)

Kind of in a really humorous mood after I read the "Wedgied" part! That was the best laugh :lmao:

I had in a long time! Than you!

Oh, and thanks for caring for the birds! :tup:

clukx · Apr 8, 2015

The dog knew I was having a terrible morning gave me lots of hugs and kisses today, I just need to go home...

DDave · Apr 8, 2015

clukx said:
The dog knew I was having a terrible morning gave me lots of hugs and kisses today, I just need to go home...

I was going to caption this, but after looking at the eyes... there was nothing left to say...

@clukx, take care and keep thinking about getting back to that dog. you know he needs you as much as you need him.

clukx · Apr 8, 2015

Well I made it back to my doggie! He gave me lots of love but now he went into the living room to hang out without me!

DDave · Apr 8, 2015

clukx said:
Well I made it back to my doggie! He gave me lots of love but now he went into the living room to hang out without me!

Did he... or is he just seeing if you will follow? :shrug:

clukx · Apr 8, 2015

lolol i actually think he has a tummy ache.
hes acting like he doesn't feel good
brought him in our room to show him love!

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