Fine, then. . . . if nobody will play with me, then I will just make this thread my blog. So unless someone's gonna fight me for it, I now claim ownership of this thread to do with as I please.
So, once again, I was menaced by the neighbor dogs while on my physical therapy walk. I've been creeping through the 27 acre woods behind the property to learn how to identify mushrooms, admire moss and ferns, and look for interesting things to photograph. I'm also carrying garbage bags to clean up the litter that has accumulated from years of high school parties and clandestine fireworks displays. Some days, this is literally the best 15 minutes of my day and i treasure my good fortune to enjoy nature right outside my door, and I'll be damned if anybody tries to stop me from this one tiny indulgence.
This time, The dogs were accompanied by a sweet golden retreiver owned by another neighbor, and I had to consider how I did not want to hard the known good dog that I don't care roams around. Now I love dogs, I just don't love being attacked by vicious ones, especially ones which have an owner that has been given every possible opportunity to control her dogs by me, animal control, and the county sheriff. In fact, the last thing the sheriff told me was that all he could do was come by after I've exerted whatever level of appropriate force I deem necessary to protect myself.
Just like on Christmas day, these two 100+ pound black labs had me cornered on an access road to a pair of powerline towers. Steep hill cut on either side of me and a several hundred foot high cliff behind me. I did not see the owner, but yelled "Get your fucking dogs away from me right now!!!". The owner was surpringly within earshot and was able to get her dogs under control before any consequences were delivered.
I felt especially confident, because ten minutes earlier I had test fired one of the 9mm birdshot rounds I purchased only a hour before with these dogs in mind. I had heard that these plastic tipped rounds don't cycle well in Glocks, and that is the truth. One shot, one jammed spent shell. So my plan to load three of these in front of the lethal rounds has been modified to simply one warning shot of pellets, clear the mechanism, and then load the lethal round. It's not actually a bad thing because it will give me the chance to easily find and pick up the spent shell if I only fire once. These darn things cost $2 each, so I only tried one of them, but one round shot into a square foot of cardboard from 15 feet away was enough for me to learn that a frontal head shot will most likely result in a blind dog that's going to need it's head shaved to pluck out a hundred little hot lead hornet stingers. The unfortunate thing is that it's perfectly legal for me to inflict significant pain upon an innocent animal that is not actually the one responsible for putting my life in harm's way.
I'm the least violent dude you'd ever come across, and the last time I used my gun was almost 20 years ago when I fired one single round to save my neighbor's toddlers from being eaten by a roaming wolf hybrid known for killing cats, foxes, and small dogs. So I hope that nobody thinks worse of me for planning ahead to ensure that I am not injured through the gross negligence of an asshole. At this moment in time, pain can be so bad that I have to walk at a baby step pace, so fleeing is not an option when I am menaced by these dogs. Being knocked over could actually paralyze me, as my spine is fragile as glass before my upcoming spinal fusion revision surgery. And this asshole owner KNOWS THIS!!!!!
But I can't just leave you with a rant about being newly disabled and having asshole neighbors without empathy. I've been creeping around these 27 acres, So I give you for your enjoyment:
ZOODLE!!!!!
from it.
)days a year.
)
