Dealing with addiction

So true I think in the later stages of addiction it becomes obvious that it really is a allergic reaction. When
I started to use my drug of choice coke I could act normal even sleep a few hours after it was gone.
Now if I was to use the drug anyone in the room would know right away I was on coke and I might fall asleep 8-12 hours later. It turns me into a fucking monster then I just go lay in bed cry and wait for the cops or someone to come bust my door down. The crying thing only started the last 4-5 times I used it.

I started off my recovery in the rooms in this order AA NA CA GA but still using. Then I got the net and started to put together my own program that works for me. Now I feel a lot of guilt not just about the past anytime I get a buzz from anything even vaping a pinch of herb. I got a lot of love for the RudeBoy and anyone else dealing with addiction.

RUDE BOY said:

Don't you have to go through the exact same withdrawals whether or not you call it a state of dependence or addiction though ?

I'm the same way with narcotics as you. I gotta spend time on 'em for medical reasons once in a blue moon and always still get dope sick when i stop taking them and never really ever want them or think of them when they're not needed. Not really the context of the conversation when that post was made though.

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I have had a similar problem recently. Not dope sickness but my doctor has had me taking something called Lyrica. I have cervical spondolosis and it helps. However, I tried to stop taking it about 6 weeks ago. The first few days were not bad but say by day 3 which was a Monday I was really sick. I have no doubt that I developed a physical addiction. I don't mentally want the stuff in any way but but physically my body was telling me something else.

Slightly off-topic but I had another bad experience with meds back in August. I was in Thailand and to be honest I stock up on codeine and valium whenever I am there (long story). A pharmacist convinced me to try something called Tamal Retard. It made feel a chemical high the first day and the second day I straight out overdosed on the stuff. It was horrible. Luckily for me though I got sick about 20 minutes before I was about to eat some shrooms. I was so sick the shrooms went straight in the garbage.

When adjusting the bag of chemicals, try to use known substances in known quantities.

biohacker said:

No worries brother...absolutely no need! It's been 3 days since my 5 week abstinence period, and my relationship with vaping is exactly where I want it. I honestly think it was more of a case of VAS!! FUUUUCK U VAS!!!

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So your vaping again after you mentioned to never do it again? I think there are some other issues, possibly psychological mental etc., that may be the problem. Who knows.

Not replying to anyone in particular.. Just chiming in on the topic of this thread and some of the opinions put forward. Here is my own from my own limited experience.
I've gone from being psychologically dependent, 24/7 flat-out bong smoker with no future prospects and an amalgam of un-diagnosed mental illnesses to a once a day vaper who sees the beauty in life regardless of the substance i'm on. I have a bad day every now and then but overall I'm on the mend and things have improved a lot in just a few years. That's not a bad progression, and it has taught me that we create our own circumstances with narcotics. Having a predisposition to smoking way too much, too often and for the wrong reasons was a tough trait to have when attempting to start casually getting high again, and so it will remain for the duration of my life which I spent vaping. Over time it becomes easier to treat the wonderful green medicine with more respect and I do not take advantage of it anymore, but I know at any time I am able to launch back into a full blown addiction with no real concern for how it will make my life fall apart again.. This is something that I consider a gamble; because nobody is perfect and I could easily fall back into this habit again (this is a risk I must accept and be constantly cautious of due to my manic behavior sometimes)

And as this is still in progress, how can I say that 'once an addict, always an addict' is true or false? I believe it is fucking bullshit because I can do anything, and that includes controlling my behavior and maintaining that control and acting as an example for others, but I have had a bad history.

Easy for someone to jump in and say 'everything you just said indicates a problem, get help, vaping isn't for you'
This thought makes me a bit defensive because I put a lot of energy into proving to myself that I don't always have to be scared of having a one-off cigarette once in a blue moon. I don't want to be scared of the repercussions of having a vape set up at my computer desk in plain sight for most of my time spent online (even though it could realistically not be in plain sight and packed away somewhere) In fact I should realistically be able to have a line of cocaine cut and ready to go and not have to worry about things like 'I don't trust myself to not do that! The temptation is too great!'
Fuck that. We control our actions. Someone who was once dangerously addicted to a drug can easily revisit that stage of their life with a different mindset and tackle it better! Well maybe not easily, but I don't believe in saying that someone can't do something. We are capable of the most phenomenal things and can overcome any challenge we give ourselves.
To anyone who doesn't know our side of the story; don't hate on the vapers here who have once had a serious problem with marijuana and mental health difficulties. It doesn't mean it isn't for us, it just means it wasn't for a younger, more naive version of ourselves. Just my 2 cents. Peace/.

wax said:

So your vaping again after you mentioned to never do it again? I think there are some other issues, possibly psychological mental etc., that may be the problem. Who knows.

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Oh? Thanks for your concern. I mentioned I'd never do it again? Lol

@Deja Vu i couldn't agree with your post more. Lotsa haters on here. I guess self improvement is something that is frowned upon. It's obviously reflected in the hater's maturity and intelligence.

Just finished a 4 day t-break, pretty easy psychologically, bit of night sweats on night 2 and usual crappy sleep. But I started back up with shatter, which wasn't necessary. All part of the experimentation process!

You constantly talk about night sweats I doubt it's from vaping , and yeah you did mention that

Can you please quote me then? I said I would never return to the extreme binges over protracted periods. Are you trying to antagonize me?

You can doubt whatever you want. It's 100% related to the vaping, in my case anyway. Tonnes of other effects I've noticed with blood labs as well, but there is no need to share them because I know I'll be mocked here.

Already received 2 apologies in PM and 1 publicly, so thanks again to you guys. Haters are gonna continue hating anyone that's ever reached success.

You do realize you can block my post yeah?

We need to stick together and show support. Calling someone an addict is not very nice. Not only are we all having to read that negative word and put our mind through the task of assimilating with it, but we are also drawing conclusions about people and ourselves which is an unnecessary feature of the ego..

This should reflect the inner truths that guide most of us, and I feel it's relevant to this whole tangled discussion and the idea of addiction.

“The true value of a human being and their potential can be found in the degree to which he has attained liberation from the self.”
- Albert Einstein

All I said was that I was an addict, and many others are but don't realize it. Just my opinion, don't think I singled anyone out? If I did I apologize, but I've pretty much given up on this thread, life is too short to argue. To each their own, everyone has their own journey and many don't realize that nearly everyone is fighting a battle that others aren't even aware of.

Dude you pretty much called everyone on this forum one.

Really? Can you quote me AGAIN please? Still waiting for the first quote, dude.

biohacker said:

IMHO, this forum is full of addicts in denial.

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right there buddy.

That's not calling everyone on the forum, and that's my opinion which I am entitled to no? Just like you stating I have mental issues? Regardless, can we move on?

First of all I said pretty much not you called everyone on this forum an addict. And just by saying IMHO doesn't mean you can say whatever you want after that and not expect repercussions or arguments to follow especially when your calling PRETTY MUCH everyone on this forum am addict.

Still waiting for the quote where I apparently said I would never vape again? And can we just stop bickering and derailing already? Cheers man. I know I'm hated for my comment, but it's all good, peace everyone even to my haters.

I've pretty much given up on this thread,

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Since you are the OP and this has turned into a bickering match, I have too. So I'm moving it to ABV.