The Depressimistic Thread

farscaper said:

I think im just gonna step out cause you guys arnt gonna like me I think...

Click to expand...

Uh, in this thread, everything is fair game. Fuck everything else.

Yeah everything is fair game here. I stand by my life's motto: "Deal with problems as they arise or have a successful suicide attempt"

some times the best way to resolve an argument is to refuse the argument.

reject the status quo of happiness and realize only You influence You.

why try to convince others of what we ourselves do not believe? does that seem right?

everything I said was true.

everything I said was directed and NOBODY.

my statements are of a rhetorical narure when I DO NOT quote or tag people...

so keep in mind... before replying... theres another "humane" being on the other end...

and remember... all my bullshit really means is that I feel just like you all...

but rather than try and fill this thread full of puppy kisses and cuddly kittens we should try to embrace the fact that there are others that feel this way and just accepting that and them for their feelings is better than brushing them off as broken... especially when we ourselves feel the same...

by admitting we feel shitty, bad, mad, sad exc.... its not a pitty party were looking for, but rather just a bit more understanding of ourselves through perhaps the thoughts of another.

if you wanna change your diet... do it.
if you hate people on tv... dont watch it.
if you wanna be angry... go do it and be creative but non violent.
if you wanna call your ex cause your sorry for everything and wanna change and fix it then do it. I did. and I married her and had 3 wonderful children that make life even MORE happy... and sad.

find what you love and let it kill you....

and you dont have to be happy about it either...

we all sit alone some times... what you do with THAT time could be the most importaint part of your days... the best inner reflection is done in solitary company.

the only real difference between the uber happy and the depressomistic is not giving a fuck.

depressomistics say they dont give a fuck... but they really do and thats what makes life hard... is caring.

the uber happy... truely do not give a fuck.
offend them? they dont give a fuck
play em... they leave and dont give a fuck
cheat? they smack you and dont give a fuck!

try to give less of a fuck and ye shale find freedom?
or maybe thats all just a farce and they just hide their pain better?

My brother took his own life this morning. OK to talk about it?

basement farmer said:

My brother took his own life this morning. OK to talk about it?

Click to expand...

fuck yea its ok to talk about it!

im sorry for your loss dude... just saying.

farscaper said:

fuck yea its ok to talk about it!

im sorry for your loss dude... just saying.

Click to expand...

Thanks...

It's surreal is how I would describe the experience.

I feel mostly for my nephews, nieces and parents.

Anger and disappointment would be how I feel.

basement farmer said:

My brother took his own life this morning. OK to talk about it?

Click to expand...

So sorry for your loss. He must have been in a lot of pain. It's hard for the loved ones that are left to deal will a suicide. Devastating for the family.

basement farmer said:

Thanks...

It's surreal is how I would describe the experience.

I feel mostly for my nephews, nieces and parents.

Anger and disappointment would be how I feel.

Click to expand...

I will admit I am not the most well equipped advice giver in these times...

@CarolKing is far more eloquent at condolences than I...

I'm sure at this point you are in shock will need to gather strength from friends and family at time of sadness. Your FC family is here too. Talking may help.

CarolKing said:

So sorry for your loss. He must of been in a lot of pain. It's hard for the loved ones that are left to deal will a suicide. Devastating for the family.

Click to expand...

Thank you for your condolances....

...after the initial sobbing it's become more of a weird empty feeling.

I've really tried to imagine the kind of personal torment that would've allowed him to think that killing himself is a viable option as bothg a father and a son and can't do it.

I've indirectly experienced a fair number of tragedies (including suicides) among friends and coworkers. It's a little like standing out in an open field with a bunch of people during and electrical storm. All around you the unfortunate are randomly getting struck, and every time it happens I cringe at how close it has come to me. But this is the first for both my immediate and extended family... it happened way too close this time.

I'm very sorry for your your loss basement farmer, it sounds very tough.

Hopefully you can move past the disappointment and anger and focus on the love that you have for him, and try to reconcile that he is now where he wants to be, which has to be a better place than where he was.

Sorry your going through this basement farmer. We lost my sister a year ago though not through suicide, she refused to seek medical attention of any kind for a simple treatable illness and her death could have easily been avoided if she had.

I still don't have all those feelings sorted out yet and run the gambit from anger to near acceptance on any given day. Hang in there farmer I know I was in a fog of confusion for months, slowly getting easier (not every train of thought leads to Her now) but for now it still feels like life will never be quite as lively as it once was for me, someones missing.

maybe not an 100% uplifting response but please stay strong my friend.

RUDE BOY said:

she refused to seek medical attention of any kind for a simple treatable illness and her death could have easily been avoided if she had

Click to expand...

That's how my dad checked out, for whatever reason he just didn't get the help that could have easily saved him, and he dropped dead right after he set himself up for retirement so he never got to enjoy it.

Thing that really sucked is She's the reason I'm still alive.

She was my main advocate when I needed treatments that were still in trials that I was to sick to qualify for, and she raised holy hell and bitched so fucking loud I got what i needed to stay alive.

All She needed was a script for antibiotics.

EveryDayAmnesiac said:

But... I'd rather go look at cute pictures of animals instead.

Click to expand...

Your playing my song here!

CarolKing said:

Sometimes when I'm going through a rough patch, I need to stay busy and not dwell on what is making me feel so sad. Nobody's life goes well all the time. I try to work on how I react to the attitudes of others. I can only work on myself. I can't change how others are.

Plenty of us have had hard times and difficult fathers and mothers. We have to move on and not let it destroy our happiness. Only you can make yourself close to happy. Yes I think happiness is achievable.. There are sad times too. We go on. There are peaks and valleys in life and relationships. Some people are toxic in your life. Stay away from them as much as possible

Click to expand...

Well Said! Bravo! (one thumb more that you'd get with Siskel and Ebert).

farscaper said:

ha! @CarolKing said it!

@EveryDayAmnesiac define "your" happiness... and go find it.

I take my sugar... with a little salt.

Click to expand...

I like my sugar with coffee and cream!

Deja Vu said:

Yeah everything is fair game here. I stand by my life's motto: "Deal with problems as they arise or have a successful suicide attempt"

Click to expand...

Yeah, I got problems and they stack like bills!

basement farmer said:

My brother took his own life this morning. OK to talk about it?

Click to expand...

@basement farmer, humor aside. I am sorry for your loss!

RUDE BOY said:

Sorry your going through this basement farmer. We lost my sister a year ago though not through suicide, she refused to seek medical attention of any kind for a simple treatable illness and her death could have easily been avoided if she had.

I still don't have all those feelings sorted out yet and run the gambit from anger to near acceptance on any given day. Hang in there farmer I know I was in a fog of confusion for months, slowly getting easier (not every train of thought leads to Her now) but for now it still feels like life will never be quite as lively as it once was for me, someones missing.

maybe not an 100% uplifting response but please stay strong my friend.

Click to expand...

@RUDE BOY, I'm sorry for your loss too! I know that empty space all too well! Fill it with fond memories of her!

Whatever few good vibes I have left are being sent your way, @basement farmer.

Be thankful for the time you had with him.

Apparently i need $2000 to buy the domain for fuckdepression.com

Guess I'll just get high.

@basement farmer Message me if you want to have a chat and let some things off your chest. That must be difficult; suicide has always been in my life in one way or another and it effects families dramatically.. Don't let it overwhelm you, even strangers are there to lean on. May your next vape be extra potent and may your brother rest in his solace.

@EveryDayAmnesiac : i am a firm believer in the concept that what makes me UNHAPPY are my expectations and the emotions i attach to them. This makes "happiness" a choice and not a condition that must be met by external factors. With choice comes power and control.

Some days i am a wild hippie chick hula hoop dancing and shooting rainbows out of my ass...other days i draw the blinds, turn off my phone and cuddle with my cat. Most days, i am somewhere in between - incredibly grateful for my life and those i love and who love me.

Im glad you authored this thread because occasionally my misery wants anonymous company but I am also glad that this thread doesnt get more play than it does...i would say it means more people are becoming the heroes of their own stories and not the victims

And i believe you are more a hero than you would have us know~

basement farmer said:

My brother took his own life this morning. OK to talk about it?

Click to expand...

basement farmer said:

Thank you for your condolances....

...after the initial sobbing it's become more of a weird empty feeling.

I've really tried to imagine the kind of personal torment that would've allowed him to think that killing himself is a viable option as bothg a father and a son and can't do it.

I've indirectly experienced a fair number of tragedies (including suicides) among friends and coworkers. It's a little like standing out in an open field with a bunch of people during and electrical storm. All around you the unfortunate are randomly getting struck, and every time it happens I cringe at how close it has come to me. But this is the first for both my immediate and extended family... it happened way too close this time.

Click to expand...

@basement farmer : I am so sorry! My brother took his life too at 41...set himself on fire in 2005 :-/

Sending some love vibes to you tonight

Dawntreader said:

@EveryDayAmnesiac : i am a firm believer in the concept that what makes me UNHAPPY are my expectations and the emotions i attach to them. This makes "happiness" a choice and not a condition that must be met by external factors. With choice comes power and control.

Some days i am a wild hippie chick hula hoop dancing and shooting rainbows out of my ass...other days i draw the blinds, turn off my phone and cuddle with my cat. Most days, i am somewhere in between - incredibly grateful for my life and those i love and who love me.

Im glad you authored this thread because occasionally my misery wants anonymous company but I am also glad that this thread doesnt get more play than it does...i would say it means more people are becoming the heroes of their own stories and not the victims

And i believe you are more a hero than you would have us know~








@basement farmer : I am so sorry! My brother took his life too at 41...set himself on fire in 2005 :-/

Sending some love vibes to you tonight

Click to expand...

You seem like a delicate soul, and i relate to your two extremes of moods.. a lot.. haha. We can't rely on the sunshine all the time and often have to compromise on the dream of '100% happy and joyful 24/7!' and just succumb to feeling a bit lonely, upset or 'down'.
We can't give too much energy and importance to feeling either 'up' or 'down' because they are what they are; recurring feelings that should not effect our quality of life too much (in the long term atleast!)

After 3 weeks of feeling okay, yesterday a lot of suicidal thoughts came up over absolutely NOTHING. Just out of nowhere, and I couldn't shake it for a few hours. I started giving up and accepting that these were natural thoughts, but then I got sick of it and called suicide hotline and explained it to them calmly and they talked me back down to a point where I could end the call and walk away knowing that I had to keep focused on the simpler things in life, and the complicated things (such as deep-seeded emotional insecurities, feelings of self-resentment and irrational impulses to kill myself) are left to rot. I will deprive them of sunlight and nutrients until they wither up and die.. detaching their roots from my life and fading away

I believe that we can all do the same over a long, drawn-out period of time. These are our trials and tribulations. Will we let depression break us down to uninspired victims or force us to claw out and be inspirations to those around us? It doesn't have to be one or the other, but we have to aim as high as we can.

If I'm not a shining light of contradictory bullshit in this thread then I give up..
Just trying to stay afloat here.

A bit of a metaphor for depression that some people do not understand..

It seems that we can sit on the surface of the water and be at peace, floating, weightless and calm..
We can not jump out of the water into absolute perfect bliss very often.. Only when the waves take us a bit higher do we experience these joys..

But the depths of the ocean know no end at all. They get deeper and darker for eternity and if we let it take control it will pull us under for days, months, years and some people never come back

You can only be SO happy before you are just.. happy. How happy can you get, really?

But sadness is deep.. It will bring you to your knees begging to be set free, all alone. This is a place we must avoid, because it is only a fraction of the way towards the bottom of the ocean that we dare not sink to. Others begin to get dragged down with us also.

Respect yourselves, respect life and have a responsible relationship with MJ. Peace and love to you all..

@Deja Vu You have a child. That beautiful daughter of yours would be heartbroken without her dad. Even if the mom does evil shit to keep you away. Your daughter will see that some day. Just be there for her. You will have opportunities to be her dad. A girl always needs her dad. I'm glad you are feeling better.

I had a dad but he was angry and full of hate. You don't seem like that. You sound like a great person.

@CarolKing, I think that you may be missing some of the dark humor aspect of this thread. Meaning no matter how depressing things may get, that we are still able to appreciate the absurdity of it all and even laugh at ourselves/our situation. Imo it's when we take ourselves too seriously that we are most open to disappointment, as illustrated by all the seriously depressed people in the "civilized" world.

You know who doesn't get depressed? African peasants, who live in some of the most challenging situations in the entire world. Poverty/aids/ebola/drought/endless wars etc. They just keep on cruisin', jambo style!

When you live in 3rd world countries you are working too hard to stay alive. No time to think about suicide your looking for your next meal or dodging a bomb. Or catching Ebola in Africa.

CarolKing said:

@Deja Vu You have a child. That beautiful daughter of yours would be heartbroken without her dad. Even if the mom does evil shit to keep you away. Your daughter will see that some day. Just be there for her. You will have opportunities to be her dad. A girl always needs her dad. I'm glad you are feeling better.

I had a dad but he was angry and full of hate. You don't seem like that. You sound like a great person.

Click to expand...

Awh. I will be seeing her tomorrow for the first time in a few weeks. Things between her mother and myself are improving, she wants to see me play an active role now that she has had her cooling-off period.. So it's always on the up & up!
I will always be there for her and cope with / overcome any thoughts of ending it all along the way. Life is bitter sweet and I wouldn't have it any other way

The subtle trigger points of depression are what intrigues me. We tend to go from "fine" to suicidal like a light switch. Most of the time we don't even notice what for.

I do find it interesting that most depressed people tend to be more intelligent. You can tell by the way people craft their input. I once read a theory that depression affects the higher learning type because our brains are more active, and what we consider depressing is often just reality. Therefore our keen sense of honesty and sensitivity is actually accurate with the world, and all the "normal" people are the ones with the mental disorder.

"Moreover that little plant will help you to the understanding that so much you think of in life as being cruel and bad, is truly for the good of those you pity."

grokit said:

@CarolKing, I think that you may be missing some of the dark humor aspect of this thread. Meaning no matter how depressing things may get, that we are still able to appreciate the absurdity of it all and even laugh at ourselves/our situation. Imo it's when we take ourselves too seriously that we are most open to disappointment, as illustrated by all the seriously depressed people in the "civilized" world.

Click to expand...

I think we take ourself too seriously because of all the fabricated stresses of life. Honestly, people in third world countries living in a hut on a piece of land are probably much better off than slaving for an employer to make a mortgage they will never pay off. At least they are slaves to themselves. More and more I've been realizing that primal living makes a lot of sense. The consumerist material world that has been funneled and force-fed down our throats is the problem. I've started eating primal too, eating mostly raw organic foods instead of the heavily processed and genetically modified "food" around us.