My Girlfriend 'HATES' Cannabis.

Hey guys, Fuckcombustion is probably not the place for relationship advice but i thought i'd just try and briefly share with you my story and perhaps get some advice from people who i'd imagine have experienced the same thing 1 way or another in life.

So a bit of back-story about myself. I am a huge cannabis advocate, enthusiast, connoisseur.
I attend protests, collect loads of paraphernalia and heck! I've even made a well received documentary on the subject!

I try to moderate my usage, i know some people on here smoke/vape every day... That's not me.
I'll try to keep it to once... maybe twice a month.. (though lately it's been a bit more cause i had been away on holidays in Amsterdam). ANYWAYS! I'm getting off topic.

So i met this new girl and i think she's really cool. Although in many ways we're complete opposites.
She's conservative, i'm liberal. She believes in god, i'm Atheist. She has a very very low opinion on weed, i have a very high opinion of it.

It's an odd situation because asides from these major differences we do really get along and there are a lot of things i like about her. She's a girl-gamer (a proper girl gamer), She's into horror movies, She's very loving and affectionate and understanding and respectful of our differences.

Though she CLEARLY has an issue with my weed usage. When i get high she refuses to see me or even speak with me when i'm high. She's never really done drugs in her life and claims that she will never touch drugs because she has concerns of becoming addicted and dieing as a result, she also has anxieties over not being in control. I would never peer-pressure anyone to do drugs if they weren't interested, but it kind of upsets me that she intends to live her whole life not experiencing something that to me is amazing and realistically not really that harmful when compared to other drugs.

Maybe i should point out that I'm not some crazy drug user or anything. I don't even drink alcohol or coffee! I don't go out to parties or live a dangerous lifestyle. I'll just sometimes vape or dab.. Though i feel guilty now every time i do it because of her and i never felt guilty about it before (nor do i want to). I wish there was something i could do to open her mind a little...
It just makes me upset because i'm such a big pro-cannabis advocate... but if i can't even convince my girlfriend... what's the point :/..

Has anyone else ever been in with a girl like that?
How did things turn out?
Do you have any suggestions?

Idk if fuckcombustion is the appropriate place to have an open-dialogue about these kinda things.
But i'd just be interested to get some insight cause i know it's a lot of older people on here..
I'm 20 by the way.

Change for yourself, not for someone else. Some people will hold irrational beliefs to the grave. I don't have any suggestions really... but you have to do what you have to do to take care of yourself. Have you talked to her about it before? Open conversation?

OK, you're 20, how old is she? Besides her objection to weed, you have another big divide-religion. Is she trying to make you believe in god?

People have differences -some of them are insurmountable in relationships. Can you both accept that you will probably never change the others mind about these subjects and live with that or is it always going to be a subject that cause fights?

That's the question you both need to ask yourselves.

I could never be with someone that was very religious because i'm an atheist, but as long as they respected that my non-belief was just as valid as thiers and we never talked about it, it might work .

If she is adamant that weed is bad, you probably will not change her mind. She seems unwilling to even talk about the subject or listen to or read about the positive effects of MJ for many people.

I'm always willing to let people try and convince me that god is real, but so far not one person has shown me any concrete evidence

I've been with people that did not smoke and i don't care one way or the other if they do, but they have to respect my right to smoke daily If they can't ,there is no relationship. I'm not going to change my mind about weed, i've been smoking for 47 years .

Sounds like it's a core belief of hers and if it were me, I'd respect her beliefs and desires and only vape when she's not around. BTW, I TOTALLY understand her desire to not want to be around you when you are high. I've been getting high for decades and I don't like to be around anyone who is high when I'm not.

Trying to change anyone's core beliefs, be it drugs, religion, politics, etc, is a VERY dangerous game ESPECIALLY if it's someone with whom you have and want to continue a close relationship with. Relationships are all about compromise, acceptance and understanding without weighing who is doing more of these things than the other.

Just my opinion, of course.

I've had a few relationships with woman who were my polar opposites, They were fun as long as Sex was still fresh and hot but moving past the physical we had very few core values in common. The Relationships didn't stand a chance since we disagreed on almost everything.

Opposites may attract for a great romp in bed not so much for good conversation at breakfast unless you like a debate with your eggs (I do).

MGG I say Enjoy your time together but don't invest in duel burial plots just yet.


EDIT: Living with Guilt when Not Guilty of anything that harms another SUCKS bigtime.

Yeah I'd take it for what it is. You'll meet plenty of cool bitches.

Denver912 said:

Yeah I'd take it for what it is. You'll meet plenty of cool bitches.

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OK, clue me in 'cause I'm just an old fart. Is it a cultural or an age thing, but does any girl/lady like to be called a bitch or am I just out in left field for having the above remark kinda rub me the wrong way.?

I don't believe it will last. That opinion is based on relationships I have seen my whole life. It could be different with you, of course.

lwien said:

OK, clue me in 'cause I'm just an old fart. Is it a cultural or an age thing, but does any girl/lady like to be called a bitch or am I just out in left field for having the above remark kinda rub me the wrong way.?

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NO!!

lwien said:

OK, clue me in 'cause I'm just an old fart. Is it a cultural or an age thing, but does any girl/lady like to be called a bitch or am I just out in left field for having the above remark kinda rub me the wrong way.?

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I'm 18 years old and when I here people refer to girls as "bitches" it makes me cringe. So unbelievably disrespectful.

lwien said:

OK, clue me in 'cause I'm just an old fart. Is it a cultural or an age thing, but does any girl/lady like to be called a bitch or am I just out in left field for having the above remark kinda rub me the wrong way.?

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If anyone called me a bitch they would really regret it.

Vicki said:

If anyone called me a bitch they would really regret it.

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Quickest way to a fist in your face

Well I guess I'm from a different land than most and I'm not meaning it in that way. Basically it means girls to me. And I didn't invent it so it was learned. But I wouldn't single a person out as a bitch unless it fit but this was more of a generalized statement the way I used the term.

Sorry if it offended as my intentions weren't placed in that direction. Do I jokingly refer to my girl to her face with the term bitch used everyday. Prolly. And y'all know what? Her sexy ass stays with me cause she knows it's just a word and I'm fucking around with her.

And back on dudes topic before I threw it off. The girl is trying to change him which most dumb bitches do. So what I was meaning that either way there is plenty of dumb or cool bitches out there to go through. Look around.

But I'd advise the guy to break up with her and wait for a better chick. Quality over quantity.

If you are older than about 16, you and her for that matter will not change. Barring a life altering event, you and her are who you are. On the opposed topics you will always see it your way and she hers.

successful relationship require compatible vices, ime

Someone once said: "To thine own self be true." IMO, one of the best pieces of advice I've ever known. It seems to me the most successful/long lasting relationships are between two people who are comfortable being themselves around each other. There are always little compromises one makes when in a relationship. But if you have to pretend to be something you're not, or make major changes to your essential nature, that isn't the right person for you.

That said, opposites often DO attract. How well those relationships work out depend on WHAT opposites we're talking about. My parents were total opposites, head over heels in love with each other, and stayed married till death. He was an introvert, she an extrovert, she drank and smoked like a sailor, he barely did, she was a depressive, he was cheerful, etc. Opposites worked in that case because their core values and beliefs were on the same wavelength.

Well, she will obviously never have your level of passion for cannabis. However, if I read your post right your level of consumption is almost nonexistent. I believe you said you only use weed once or twice a month? With that level of useage you should certainly find an opportunity to get high when she's not around. I mean, it's not like you're a medical user who may vape 180 sessions a month.. You use pot once a month dude LOL....

does she feel the same with other kinds of 'normally accepted' drugs like alcohol, ciggies, coffee or pharma pills (number #1 cause of accidental death)? some people generalize the term 'drugs' easily, you're not a regular user and it's not like weed damages your brain like meth. did she have a bad experience with someone on drugs before? if you were addicted to ice-cream & kit kat, would she have a issue?

So i haven't been replying to any of these messages and that's just simply because i'm not in a relationship with that girl anymore. It had nothing to do with these comments... Obviously it's personal and i don't feel like going into details. That being said i appreciate everyone's advice and i'd like to thank all of you for giving it. Thank you...

Liking different things doesn't seem to be the problem. Her attitude towards you liking different things seems to be the problem. Every 'couple' is bound to have different likes/dislikes/etc. It is in how they handle/relate to each other given these differences that is important. Her beliefs about dying or becoming addicted by using mj shows a real disconnect w/ the reality of the issue.

I'm in a similar situation, although I have been with my girlfriend for over 2 years and used cannabis on and off during our relationship.

The best thing you can do is share why you like to use it and just be open about it. I got in BIG BIG trouble for hiding it and keeping it in our new apartment (i stopped using and then started once we moved in together). I used to ask my girlfriend for permission to use, and that never felt right. You have the right to do it whenever you want, and never let anyone control something you love.

I have reached a balance with my girlfriend where she respects my space and she realizes that cannabis is important to me. I use it when I feel like it and try not to feel guilty because I know that she doesn't like it. It makes me wonder what a relationship would be like if my gf vaped, maybe it wouldn't work well for us, but who knows..
It doesn't seem as if she would ever try it, but her loss man

In the end, we all enjoy different things. My girlfirend and I are COMPLETE OPPOSITES, just like you, shes catholic, i'm atheist, she hates cannabis, i love it. but at the end of the day, we love each other and can have such a great time together

don't compromise though! if she's not supportive of your passions or interests, then she's going to be a jealous **** and leave your cannabis loving <3 broken on the sidewalk...

good luck man~!

ps, try to "re-educate" her, a lot of times, people are just brainwashed with the thoughts of cannabis being a schedule 1 drug that KILLS people and makes them CRAZY. show her that you can be responsible with it and still enjoy it.

Yea, this girl needs grow up a bit, I think. There are not too many people (esp. young folks) who hold such a negative view of marijuana. I'm 50 and everyone I know, old or young (I have a 24 YO, so I know a lot of young adults) either smoke (vape), know people who do and are OK with it, or just don't give a shit about weed- either way.

My wife and I have been together since we were teenagers. I was a raving pothead, Deadhead, tripper for the early years were together. She tried stuff with me and I did drag her around to Dead shows for a while, but it wasn't her thing. She NEVER liked marijuana but has always been tolerant of my usage and she never judges anyone by what type drugs they enjoy. All through the years, I never felt we were not compatible, or that I needed to stop using marijuana. That's because we are in love and always have been. It's a weird thing and many people never truly feel what we have. For that, I'm blessed.

I don't mean to sound flippant with "grow up" comment, I just think she may need a much more open mind if it's going to work. If not, she will be all over you for buying an EVO, growing medical strains in the basement, and spending tons of money on glass. Oh wait... that's just me- but you know what I mean!

Good luck, man!

I'm not getting this. So far ever since the first time I ever got high I could never understand why people would be against something that is so perfect that it has medical benefits and can still enjoy it's recreational pure joy that only weed can give someone. So with that said why would anyone be ok with living with themselves if they are a person who is against something so wonderful? It just makes no sense.

Lets see there's this plant that is grown and can help people with severe pain ANNNNNNNNNND is gives not only pleasure but a pleasure that for some or many is so high (no pun intended really) that gives them the highest pleasure they have ever experienced and ever will.

So of course let's outlaw it asap and support the DEA in their tax dollar spending to do so???

It makes no sense. Not only that but I would have a hard time ever REALLY trusting someone who thought like that. It's just scary.