Depression thread pt2

Ricardo said:

Nobody ever says "But why have you got cancer? - your children are grown, you own your own home, look on the bright side!"

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I wouldn't use that analogy, I don't find that invisible mental pain (or happiness) is equivocal to anything we can more easily physically measure, like the effects of cancer.

My point was that if the illness is visible, other people can empathise - with depression (unless they have suffered it) it's like trying to explain quantum physics to a 3-year-old (or to me)
Even wife and grown up kids - you try to explain how you feel and they say they understand but they don't, they can't.

Yeah. Feeling horrible for no justifiable reason is hard to explain to someone else who hasn't experienced it.

One of the best images I've found for it:

It is what it is.

I don't have any belief in an afterlife or anything like that. So all I can say is that we just have to make the best with the DNA that we were given without our consent, and try to find the most happiness/comfort in life while minimizing pain/discomfort within reason. It is what it mother-fucking is.

If your life needs a reason, then give it a fucking reason.

I think I'm still in-between on that last part.

@Ricardo & @Ramahs Both of you make good, fair & valid points, but for me, I feel like it does help to try to reach for some perspective on the realization that they're are others with far worse problems & situations. It's like a big fuck you to my chemical imbalance ("Not today buddy, not today"). In the end, we all have to find & do what works best for us as individuals. Best of luck to everybody here.

@Morty For sure it helps and it is very true. I was thinking more in terms of other people's understanding of depression. Fuck depression. Whatever it takes
BTW @Ramahs, that comic strip is the real deal, how we face up to reality day after day (except sometimes when we just can't ...).

Ricardo said:

My point was that if the illness is visible, other people can empathise - with depression (unless they have suffered it) it's like trying to explain quantum physics to a 3-year-old

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Truth!!!

I get more pissed at people who don't understand the physical pain some of us suffer. I have bone spurs, arthritis, degenerative discs, bone on bone knees, torn rotator cuff, 9 torn tendons, and 16 operations in the past 15 years.

When I complain about my pain, I get people saying, "You should take an [aspirin/Ibuprofen/acetaminophen/etc], it works great for me. I'm sure it will stop your pain". LMAO... If those people had to experience my pain for 5 minutes they would be crying like a baby pounding opiates down their throat like candy.

I often ask them if they would recommend an aspirin to a person with 3rd stage cancer and say the same thing to them. "Oh, just take an aspirin. It cured my cancer last week." LOL Fucking morons.

I go through life hearing Bugs Bunny in my mind saying, over and over....."What a Marooon". LOL

I guess I'm glad that others don't suffer with the kind of pain I do but when they talk shit like that, I sometimes wish they could feel what I feel for just 60 seconds. At least they would never suggest an aspirin to me again. LOL

Pile pain on top of depression and you have........ my life. LOL

Last night we had a gig. During the breaks, instead of mingling with the fans like I'm supposed to, I went and sat in my car alone. LOL Hard to play rock and roll when your depressed.

Mindfulness Meditation has significantly impacted me throughout very Dark Days in the past and present. here are some useful tools to start with for those interested or curious.

@Hackerman helps, right?
@Helios I've been trying Mindfulness for close on 2 years and I think it's just beginning to click. Those YouTube videos can be fun but I have found apps like Headspace or Calm to be much better structured.

I require multiple physical and mental challenges a day.
That and knowing I have ultimate control over me......as in it is my choice to dwell,stew and not let it go have helped me quite a bit.
Some days are just dark and down but I know it will pass.

@arb Totally agree with being active physically and mentally as far as possible. Not so sure about "ultimate control" .......this is where I struggle a lot - learning to accept that I can not control everything that happens around me (and that I don't need to). But yes, active and busy is ideal - just fake it till you make it.

Ricardo said:

I've been trying Mindfulness for close on 2 years and I think it's just beginning to click.

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That's great! Mindfulness meditation has literally changed my life, I was fortunate to meet some great teachers in this practice years ago, its an amazing base to start from and learn to develop.
These YT vids are simply starters, particularly for those not familiar with the basic concept of how to begin, I have not heard of those Apps you suggested, will check them out.

Helios said:

That's great! Mindfulness meditation has literally changed my life, I was fortunate to meet some great teachers in this practice years ago, its an amazing base to start from and learn to develop./QUOTE]

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Yes but my GAD as well as my skeptical nature wouldn't allow me ever to sit in a circle with people for shared meditation. The apps are pretty good but choose one, not both. Two is too many.

Yea it was weird at first for me as well, young snarky nature, however after going through a few group sessions reluctantly I learned to forget about those around after a while. At 20, 21 I was a kid so it left an indelible impression, assisted its trajectory in life coping skills. Mindfulness Meditation is something I wish many people would learn for self healing/realization, it truly is an amazing practice for the Spirit, soul and body.

I found a strain of cannabis that I thought really helped me. I had heard some FCers talk about this particular strain worked well for them. It’s called Laughing Buddha and it’s a Sativa. It’s not racey at all for me. I don’t always use straight Sativa unless it’s a Hybrid. I usually lean more Indica.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
It's not often I quote myself but :

Ricardo said:

I defy anyone to vape a bowl of Laughing Buddha and not end up with a huge grin across their face.

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I only had it once, in a coffee shop in Amsterdam - really envy you guys with coffee shops, dispensaries, choice.
BTW, is there a reason why we have two threads on depression and anxiety - is it possible to merge them?
EDIT: On a totally different subject, getting back to motivation and activity I think it's good to have some intellectual stimulation too, hobbies for example but also study. And it doesn't have to be formal and expensive - it can be quality and free (unless you want certification) . I have done a couple of courses with https://www.coursera.org/
Just starting Astronomy: Exploring Time and Space from the University of Arizona.

Noo dont move it this is the part2 thread obviously way different lol. I like the idea of staying healthy and busy but i also want to just be calm and happy when im not doing anything thats the main thing