So like, um, drug tests are coming down the pike at work...

What to do?
Everyone I have spoken to about this has their own "Well I heard if you..." advice.
I searched through google and there's a plethora of products and a plethora of various opinions of what works and what doesn't work.
So I'm putting this out to the forum - is there any specific product or procedure aside from abstaining (which I don't want to do and it's a statement of my personal freedom - the company I work for doesn't own me - but I need to keep the job, obviously...) which has worked for anyone here?

thanks...

For a 100% fail proof method you can get a whizzinator. For a very good chance you will pass i would use one of the "cleanser" products. As long as you follow the directions on the bottle then it will work.

In case your curious, cheating these tests has to do with diluting your urine to the point that the THC content is so low that it doesnt trigger a positive.

If you dont want to buy a product then the day before your test drink as much water as you can stand, also take some vitamin C ( i think ) to keep your pee yellow.

You want to pee as many times as possible before you go, and when filling the cup you want to use the urine from the middle of the stream, not the beginning or the end.

All of this being said.. if your job is important, i would get a whizzinator or use one of the cleanser drinks.

Hope i helped ya out, all of the above info is IMO/IME

Drink a lot of water and take vitamin B and B2. It will help increase the level of creatine in your urine. Some labs test the level of creatine to see if the urine is too diluted and invalidate the test

As part of a court-diversion program I had to take a drug test every month on the same day for a year. I would smoke weed every day except for a week before the tests; I would also work-out every day (dressed in sweats, the point is to sweat as much as possible), go through about 4 liters of water a day, and have copious amounts of sex. The week before the test I ate as many fatty foods as possible (burying what little remained under fat cells) and completely stopped working out (alright, I still had a lot of sex). You don't want to work out before the test because that makes your fat cells resurface as opposed to burying them.

I passed all 12 times with not a single trace of THC in my system.

Now, while times might have changed, this was in '06 and '07. During that time there was no *guaranteed* way to not test dirty except for abstaining. I took a gamble, but if you want your job you should just abstain for the moment. I know there are products that will hide the THC or convert it, but many drug tests now test for the chemicals in those products and will auto-fail you. If you can find out the exact test you could choose products at your leisure, but its pretty hard to do that without being looked at suspiciously. The last thing you want is to be put on a list for a "surprise" test later or to have your sample more carefully analyzed.

I hope I helped, let me know if you have any other questions. I heavily researched this stuff when I was going through mine and, while its been awhile, I'll try my best to help out.

I'm going to have to second the Whizzinator. If your urine is too dilute, or if the pH is wrong or if there is blood in it (that was a very good method of screwing up Diazepam tests on HPLC), or if the temperature is wrong these can all be construed as an automatic fail depending on where you live and depending on the laboratory where your sample is processed. Currently I work in a nutrition lab, but for 4 years I worked in a pharmacology lab testing urine, saliva, fecal, vaginal and blood samples for a large number of drugs, mostly under the form of clinical trials where a patient was supposed to be taking a certain drug at a certain time. I could tell when they were cheating. But then, I measured the pH of the samples, looked at some occasionally under the microscope, randomly ran some samples in triplicate.

The bottom line is; if there is THC in your system and you provide a real sample (and I don't know if it's a urine or blood sample that they are going to be asking for) it can be detected if you get a lab tech anal enough about every sample that he or she runs, especially if they are running Gas Chromatography (which is what I do right now).

For the love of god, please use a clean urine sample from someone you can trust 100% and make sure you deliver it to the 'testers' at or near body temperature. And you might not want to hear this, but if they request a blood sample (and I don't know about laws in the States and I don't know when your test is or will be) you're probably fucked.

As a lab tech, I'm pretty low on the evolutionary scale, but I've run over 5000 samples of bodily fluids (mostly for antibiotics, but occasionally for Diazepam and other tranquilizers), and while you might be able to fool a human, you will not be able to fool GC/HPLC/UV?FS detection methods with anything other than a clean sample. Don't risk it.

Tom

I have had many friends pass many tests much easier than that.
A couple of months ago my friend passed one with less than 2 hours notice and smoked the night before.
All you have to do is drink enough water to dilute your sample and then add some weight back to it with a multi and/or some creatine,both very cheap.

Are you sure that the Whizzinator still exists? I am seeing news stories (from a year or so ago) that they were being sued and basically put out of business.

I think it's still around. I know my friend has one with a whoooooole bunch of synthetic piss. They get tested before every job he does because they deal with dynamite and huge drills and he's passed every time. As expected. They're not cheap though

The trouble with doctoring your urine output, whether dilution by drinkning (or adding water), and then using mutil vitamins and/or creatinine is if you get a lab or tech that is on the ball. What if you're asked for a 24 urine sample. And then they decide to do a creatinine clearance on it?

I'm not a fan of drug testing at all. I'm even less a fan of doctoring your output based on what I do for a living and what I know about urine sample analysis,

Tom

I'm just stating one of several option that I know first hand has worked many,many times for my friends,not what if's.
Personally if I was forced into such a test I would rather just quit MJ than to be subjected to the added humiliation of a fake dick with urine or other such nonsense.

Hanibal Lectin said:

I'm just stating one of several option that I know first hand has worked many,many times for my friends,not what if's.
Personally if I was forced into such a test I would rather just quit MJ than to be subjected to the added humiliation of a fake dick with urine or other such nonsense.

Click to expand...

I'll agree with you 100% And thank god your friend was lucky

Tom

I have used synthetic urine for two jobs and of course passed with flying colors. I used a product called "the number 1" the whizzinator folks (puck technologies) made this product as well. They are out of business due to a government lawsuit but you can still find it online. I purchased some for a friend about three months ago from a online store (forget the name of the site but if I remember it I will post the name). It cost about $50, comes in a small bladder bag that straps around your waist (also included is a heat pad that sticks to the bladder to keep it at body temp, then there is a small tube that you fish through to your underwear. when it's time for your test just zip down your zipper and unclamp the tube. the important part to this is keeping at around 98 degrees +/- 3 degrees, to hot or to cold and the tester may claim you tamperd with the sample (it has happened to me before, trust me i was pissed pun intended). i usually am hot bodied so i did not use the heat pad my second and third go rounds.
i have tried the drinks, teas, pills, you name it they did not work for me. i tested them all by buying a home drug test kit from cvs or walgreens and they all came positive some were more faint than others. the only way to pass is abstaining or synthetic. hope this helps and good luck.

here is where i ordered from
http://shop.goingnumber1.com